names and letting go

[Guest kittykat012]

I was a girl for 18 years

now I can see I am not

that girl I used to be almost seems like a different person now

I miss her sometimes still

I feel like Jason, my chosen name is the puzzle piece I’ve always been missing.

Yet still the Idea of changing my name makes me sad sometimes

that girl I was talking about before, her name is Becca

I feel like calling it “my birth name” is throwing it under the bus

Is that really where it belongs?

it doesn’t feel like my name anymore

Jason is my name now

but Becca will always be a part of me

I don’t know if I’ll ever let her go….

does anyone else relate to this?

[Guest Mickey]

Oh boy do I. I am much older than you and had practiced being the man that I got really really good at it. All of my friends that have known me for a while were very shocked when I came out to them. I am finding that I don't really miss him as much as I did at first though. One thing I do miss very much, he protected me for a long time and isn't as able to do that job now. While I do still have the knowledge, I no longer have the physical strength that I did as him. It does make me feel a little guilty, as he is dieing, and I am the one that is doing away with him. He kept me safe for so long and now he must go away so that I can live. Yes, I will miss him, but go he must, even if it hurts.

[Guest April Kristie]

I was a man for 60 years, now I am a women named April.

The person I was for so long is merely a used to be, the more time goes by in this new incarnation

The less and less the old life has hooks on and in me.

I yearned, and was tormented by not being able to be April all the time,

and for me all the many experiences a younger woman has in her life.

But now, I see my former self setting in a pleasant sunset,

as I ride towards a new sunrise !

[Guest noeleena]

Hi,

Maybe not much help here it may help in other ways ,

im an intersexed female so names to me are not that importaint so i,ll list them and explain

noel or no-el, edward ,mannfried Von Reutchthos , Loch-head. and legal noeleena edwina ,Loch-head,

for the last few years i left my german and Prussian names out of it for the time being and soon or later ill have then reinstated .

My birth certs reflect im a female though should have been intersex at birth any way too long ago 67 years . and as far as it concens Govt dept and all other,s im a female named Noeleena ,

so i retain no-el and most people know my background . noel is both male and female so im covered as far as my birth names are concerned , fact is i did not wont or need to change to another name because my name does reflect both male and female , and what is importaint is i am , and its all part of who i am as a person and my personality and as people get to know me it all comes together very well .

...noeleena,,,

[VickySGV]

I recently came across the idea that my birth name was actually my "trial name" that was there until (I) (We) (they) could find what and how I should identify and be real. When I was born, the term Transgender had not been invented as an idea for a person who looked one gender, but mentally and spiritually was another, and of a gender that belonged to people with genitals of the other sex.

If you think of Becca as your "trial" or "try on" name you do not deny that it was you in your early years, and you are not killing a person, only a misnaming with one that did not fit you. Becca though did keep you alive, and brought you to where Jason was waiting all those years, and Becca is now actually willing to give Jason an identity that even Becca knew would happen, and Becca is and will be in you as part of your total spirit.

I love "Rick" (my former name) more now than I ever did when it was his body. He was a lonely and frightened person who put on a good show, but it brought him to the door of death which did not open for him, but he nevertheless gave up and gave me the time to be. You will love Becca even more than you did, and there will be times Becca will comfort you and give you courage to live on with Becca inside and Jason being the person Becca was born to be.

[Guest]

I totally get what you mean.

On the one hand, I never felt like Erick really fit me or defined me. Sort of felt out of place. However, now that I'm legally Ashley, I've come to realize that a name for me was just a designation so everyone else could interact with me. It didn't change me. It didn't define me. It was simply a designation so I could be organized by society at large.

Now that I've given a new designation, I don't see the old one as a bad thing. It just was. It will always be a part of my history and I like the idea that it was a trial name. I'll have to admit that I do get a little giddy inside when I have to sign a receipt.

God bless

Ashley

[Guest Kayla Grace]

I'm on board with Vicky and Ashley on this one.

The way I see it, you are either creating a new person, or you have been you all along, just with a different name and gender. I certainly know that Natalya feels better seeing her name on the work board then Nathan ever did.

God Bless,

Natalya <3

[gennee]

The former life will always be a part of us to some extent. When I decided to grace Gennee's presence, I felt a completeness in my life. When I'm out I'm seen as a woman. It may be the way I present myself. Body language may have something to do with it also.