Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Every time I get used to normal life . . .


Guest DesiB

Recommended Posts

I still don't have a permanent teaching job and am in my 4th year as a substitute teacher, but I love my job--at least 95% of the time.

Wednesday was another normal day. Life was good. One group of high school students I had just met actually told me they learned more from me in one class than they had learned from their regular teacher all year. They even said they wished I could be their full-time teacher. Not once was there ever a second thought about my sex/gender.

Thursday, I had a totally different type of middle school students who were so rude right from the start that it took more over 10 minutes to even take attendance! And this school did not even provide me with a 'sub' folder that outlined the school's discipline policy or even give me a phone number to the office if I had trouble with any extremely difficult students. So I handled things as I always do--in a manner that has led to many other schools placing me on their preferred substitute teacher lists. But in this school, I was hearing rude comments from a few students, such as (in second period), "Are you a man?" I did not directly respond to such comments since they were said quietly and not to my face. But I did have to send a couple students to the office and I had to confiscate cell phones from two students who refused to put them away after several warnings. One of those students actually had the nerve to walk out the door without permission and actually got the office personnel to side with him and call me ordering me to give him his phone back!

Then before 5th period started, a boy in the hallway was yelling the word "transvestite!" He came into the room being loud and pushing students, so I confronted him before he even sat down. He gave me backtalk and bad attitude, so I sent him straight to the office for insubordination and disruption of the classroom. Apparently they had all talked about me throughout the day and the entire class was disrespectful and knew I had no support from the office. All they had to do was watch a video and answer a few easy questions about it. But during the video I had to send another student to the office who wanted to argue with me because I would not give someone else permission to go talk to a counselor who other students admitted was not even present that day. So while I sat at the desk writing my report of the previous events, I was hit twice by objects thrown at me with the lights out. I did not even ask who threw it, but the one pencil eraser with metal casing that I found that had bounced onto the desk I just tossed safely into the corner of the room and turned the lights on. Then they got upset that I turned the lights on and started accusing me of throwing something back at one of the students! Then they said they could get me fired. I replied that they were free to say whatever they wanted, but they had an assignment to do first. So they only listened to the first part of what I said and all started to get up and leave to run to the office right then! Two of them actually did and ignored me and would not stop. The rest of them were all standing up and yelling at me and arguing and trying to gang up on me, so since I didn't have the office phone #, I decided to go there myself and ask them to send someone to my room. But the moment I stepped bast the doorway, the student who had been calling me a "transvestite" before class, said I was leaving because I was scared. So I turned around and walked back to make sure he could not make that mistake. He got all worked up like he really wanted to hit me and warned me not to get in his face, but I walked right up to him anyway and asked if he really thought I was scared. Once he walked away, I did go to the office.

Once two men from the office came up to the room, they ignored me--did not ask me what I needed or what was going on. But just asked the students if any of them needed to leave the room. A couple of students did. Then other students started making false accusations against me and I started to tell the truth, but the man (who turned out to be the principal) told me to stop! He treated me like one of the students, right in front of them. Then they started to leave the room as another boy made one more incredible statement. He claimed that they were simply trying to do their work until I stopped the video for no reason. The principal did not respond, but kept walking out. So I simply asked the student, "Do you really expect anyone to believe that?" So the principal turned around and tells ALL the students to leave the room! Then he turned and told me he told me to stop arguing! I asked him what kind of impression those students were going to have after seeing what he just did to me, then he replied that they will probably never ever see me again and that I should pack up my things and leave now.

So I sat at the desk and wrote a report of the events and within minutes, the girl who ran to the office saying she was going to get me fire, walked past and said, "Bye!" And the boy I had sent to the office earlier walked past and said, "She got fired because she's a man!" I was amazed not that the principal behaved this way, but that he also spread this information to the students so quickly and let them run freely through the hallways taunting me further like this!

Friday, life at another school was totally back to normal. I filled in for a kindergarten teacher who had to go home for her father-in-law's medical emergency. I had time to wrap a few presents from her to her students before they arrived. I did have an aide in the room and she was very appreciate of my ability to keep the students' attention and keep them organized and productively organized. Another teacher I had worked with in the past saw me in the hallway and seemed very happy to see me and stopped to say, "Hi!"

So it just amazes me how life can go from being so wonderfully normal most days to be such a living hell on others. and the sad thing is that if that principal decides to report me to the consortium that organizes my work scheduling, I could end up being banned altogether. Because I had a couple other similar cases of such bigotry over the past 4 years. I would have thought that the longer I worked, the more job security I would gain. But the truth seems to be that it only provides more opportunities for bigots to accumulate negative reports against me that never go away.

Link to comment

Hey Desi,

I tend to be able to look at situations and see it from both sides. Lot's of time there are opportunities to have avoided a conflict or have more productive outcome. I mostly don't comment one way or another. When I do comment I often find myself providing a different point of view than most.

In this case however, I have to say, damn girl that must have been hell. It seems there really wasn't anything you could have done. I am guessing you hadn't done any work at that particular school before. You have to wonder what kind of discipline that school has to begin with.

I am a big fan of getting all the facts in a conflict, talking with all parties independently. So to the degree they talked to students independently, I don't see that intrinsically as an issue. BUT it does seem there was some pre-judgement before the principle showed up at the class by not giving you an equal opportunity to present your side.

I sincerely hope there aren't future adverse consequences.

Link to comment
Guest LizMarie

There's also a matter of extremely unprofessional behavior by the principal. Singling out a teacher in front of students is a no-no. In fact, it's supposed to be a no-no professionally anywhere. On that basis alone, it's obvious the principal had issues and was part of the problem.

Link to comment

Actually I have worked at that school before, but I think last Thursday was the first time this year. Most times in the past, the secretary actually called and requested me personally for two separate weeks of testing where they needed certified teachers to read tests to students who have special accommodations for their testing. I work 5 days per week in 16 schools districts, so I stay busy and spread myself perhaps too thin. The downside is that no one really gets to know me too well, but I'm familiar at lots of places. Anyway, one of the boys, the one who got sent to the office and at the end of the day walked by and said, "She got fired because she's a man."--that boy went to another school last year and remembered that I had sent him to the office at that school last year (yes, I see a trend with him, although I didn't remember until he told me). A girl in his class from last year has lived next door to me for a decade and knows my past. So maybe he is the one who was the ring leader in turning everyone against me this time? I'm still on the preferred list at the school he went to last year--they support me and I'm not sure if the administration there has even heard anything about my past because no one in that school has ever insulted me (at least not that I ever heard), so it doesn't matter either way.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Teaching is hard in the best of situations but can be so rewarding as well. I taught shop to severely disturbed students for several years and certainly had my share of problems but i also always had the support of the administration. The principal of that school is certainly not doing his job, but hen again you know that. Middle school aged kids can be the worse. My class with females were always difficult as they would use sex as a weapon. Even at 13 they were used to turning tricks and certainly knew what they were doing. The guys couldn't even begin to keep control of T but even so both sexes were often really fun and got into the work, enjoying and learning at the same time. Certainly a mixed bag and i never quite knew what was coming.

You must be a wonderful teacher Desi. May your classes be wonderful from now on.

Hugs,

Charlize

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Not a good day at the office :(

I think that is one of the reasons why schools are externally checked here and ratings published. Anywhere that is consistantly as bad as that with such unprofessional behaviour from the principal is likely to be picked up and get bad reports. It does not mean that they are instantly sorted but they get a hard time of it if they don't sort themselves out!

I hope your days are better than that in the future Desi

Tracy

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   3 Members, 0 Anonymous, 69 Guests (See full list)

    • Susan R
    • MaryEllen
    • Petra Jane
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.8k
    • Total Posts
      770.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,101
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Vikki
    Newest Member
    Vikki
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Ale975
      Ale975
      (27 years old)
    2. BillieB
      BillieB
      (65 years old)
    3. BrokenDays
      BrokenDays
      (34 years old)
    4. Bryson
      Bryson
      (25 years old)
    5. Jolie
      Jolie
  • Posts

    • Susan R
      Hello @The Lake, Welcome to our forum. I’m intrigued by your introduction and would enjoy reading more about your backstory. We all have very unique journeys and yours is not one I have come across often. As you become more comfortable with our community, maybe you could share more aout how your gender identity evolved, what difficulties you confronted and endured and what some of your successes were along the way. Also, do you see yourself involved in a future transition of roles, presentation, social, physical, or something else entirely? There is never any pressure to share a thing here. So feel free to share as little or as much as you like. We are a very open-minded nonjudgmental group who enjoy learning new things from our members.   Warmest Regards, Susan R🌷
    • Susan R
      Welcome @gizgizgizzie, It’s nice to have you in the fold. We are a very diverse group so you’ll fit in just fine. Right now, society at large is getting bombarded with misinformation, bait and switch tactics, propaganda and lies so it’s no wonder no one can get it right. I don’t come out and explain things about my gender identity as much these days but when I do it’s amazing how little these people know about our transgender community in 2024.   Thanks for sharing a little about yourself. I hope to learn more about you as you become more acclimated and active within our forum.   Warmest Regards, Susan R🌷    
    • Susan R
      Speaking of hair days…for me, hair has always been the part of my presentation that had the most impact on my overall view of myself. It was much worse for me earlier in my transition. I enjoy experimenting with new hair styles so once in a while, I’ll end up completely redoing my hair because it somehow reminded me of my old self. Self image is a strange yet powerful thing and it take a lot of time and effort to change it.
    • Susan R
      Trans Group Zoom Meeting Tomorrow!!   Coming up tomorrow is another Zoom meet-up with those in our community. This is an open invitation for members here to get together with others from our community. These Zoom meetings last sometimes 4 hours or longer so come join us when you can and leave whenever you like. Share your story or maybe just something interesting that happened during the week. It’s a fun time to chat, meet others, and just be yourself.😁   Trans Groups Zoom Meeting Times: May 18, 2024 6:00 PM Pacific Time May 18, 2024 8:00 PM Central Time May 19, 2024 11:00 AM Australia/Melbourne   If you’re a member of our community, 18 or over and need a Zoom Link, Message me as soon as possible. I will try to get you a link ASAP.   Susan R🌷
    • Desert Fox
      I am working on a solo music project and I decided a few years ago I wanted to do female lead vocals. I’ve played instrumental music most of my life and sung as a male, mostly backup and harmony though, but very little lead. I never liked my male voice. People always clocked me as female on the phone so I’ve always had a more feminine voice. A little over two years ago I started training my female voice to sing and it has been a lot of fun, though I’m still not where I want to be. Consistency is my biggest challenge.    I try to make practice fun or I don’t stick with it. So I do a lot of singing along with my favorite cover songs…I use a vocal fader, and practice with a microphone, and often just record the blend with my phone to evaluate where I’m at and see what I need to work on. If possible I find karaoke mixes on YouTube where the lead vocal is removed and sing along to that.   I’m not sure I can offer much advice, I just do a lot of listening back and adjusting my technique and practicing until I like how I sound. Just a lot of practice. It will probably take longer than you hope to get where you want to be :) High notes will be challenging but every singer has to build up the muscles and technique and breath support and stretch the vocal chords and then their range will expand. My higher notes are in tune, but often sound strained, probably because they are. Some of that is tensing up in anticipation which I need to train myself out of doing.    I think “trans voice lessons” on YouTube is one of the best channels for tips and theory. Once you’ve found your singing voice and have that relatively consistent, pretty much it’s just working on technique, styling, articulation, range, like any singer would. 
    • Desert Fox
      I sometimes look too critically when I look in mirrors. If I’m presenting as male, I think I look too feminine. If I am presenting female then I think I look too masculine. It’s very irritating! Sometimes I think I get it down right. I guess everybody has their good and bad hair days and such, though. 
    • Carolyn Marie
      https://www.hrc.org/news/reyna-hernandez-latina-trans-woman-salon-owner-and-vibrant-spirit-killed-in-washington-state   This case is unusual, in that the victim was murdered in the U.S. and her body driven all the way to Mexico, presumably to hide evidence and confuse the authorities.    May Reyna rest in peace, and her vicious killer convicted and sentenced to a very long term behind bars.   Carolyn Marie
    • KymmieL
      We are forecast to be nice all weekend. Finally, getting a fair weather weekend.   Kymmie
    • KayC
      Hi @JenniferB - Welcome back! and nice to meet you! I applaud your desire to rejoin this wonderful Forum to share and help others.  Looking forward to hearing more from you.
    • KayC
      I cooked a breaded bone-in pork chop (seared in iron skillet then into the oven) an artichoke (w/mayo) and a frozen mac n' cheese that claimed it was "The Best Mac n' Cheese" ... and it was actually pretty good.
    • Davie
      Trump is accused of 26 separate sexual abuse crimes. What a guy.
    • Willow
      Well my work week is done and I’m exhausted.     @KymmieL your sign speaks the truth.   I almost forgot, stormy weather expected off and on all weekend
    • Ivy
      Right handed, but my left eye is dominant.   However left eye has cataract, So I've learned to hold my cup left-handed so I can see while drinking.  
    • Ladypcnj
      I'm right handed
    • DonkeySocks
      Sending prayers for your sister. I am sure the insurance thing will work out.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...