Practice what you preach, Natalya

[Guest Kayla Grace]

I can't count how many time l've told others to take a deep breath, and present yourself as you.

This being said, I can't overlook my own hesitation to present me to my mother and sister. I'm out to both of them, and their opinions are not on board, and just wants the best for me, respectively. Why can I just not bring myself to go out in my wig, and breast forms. When I've even gone out in public dressed that way?

Why?

God Bless

Natalya <3

[Charlize]

There is so much riding on the way our loved ones react. You are certainly not unique in hesitating. I was petrified to let my wife see me. This transition stuff is hard. It was even hard to dress for Halloween an then i could pretend it wasn't me.

Hugs,

Charlize

[tracy_j]

I have always felt uncomfortable, as Charlize says, and for other things besides trans issues as well - anything that may be controvertial. It is way back in my past now but I remember when I smoked cigarettes (and my family knew I did), I felt really bad when I first smoked in front of them. I never repeated it (non of them smoked). I'm glad I stopped - It is one less thing to be worried about.

With dressing I like to do things slowly and have got as far as being dressed female but not too girly in front of family members. Away from them I am far less concerned.

Tracy

[VickySGV]

These are people who shaped our male image over many years and sadly they will still see that image even with a wig and make-up on. I have heard that from several of my relatives. Even when I was wearing a dress or a skirt and blouse, it was the wig and makeup that grated on them but did not affect how they saw me. The best way I and some others have found to come out is to meet them in a social atmosphere instead of your or their home. Another way to pull it off, is to arrive with your girl wig and makeup in bags, and get them involved in helping you put them on there and then go out. As they verify that it is you and see the change in progress, it will help reassure them that you are going to be fine. Ask advice from them, and let them participate in your changing over. Where that has been done, there is bonding and not shock.

Just my $0.02.

[Guest Jamie61]

That would be very difficult if they are not "on board". My GT say to choose the easiest path so maybe you could find another family member who would be supportive and then present to them first? Maybe that person could be there when you present to other family members. I would also remind them that you are the same person no matter how you express your gender. I also found it was helpful to tell family how natural this would feel after a few minutes and how they would soon recognize the "fit". Then when I would present I would just be myself and sure enough that helped make if as comfortable as possible for all parties. Ill keep my fingers crossed. Please keep us posted.

Love,

Jamie

[StephanieVikingGirl]

Hi Natalya,

I know this is very hard, since I haven't even "come out" to my sister Melody, her son (my nephew) Danny, or his wife Kim, yet. I don't know how any of them will react, and so I hesitate. They are my only family that I have at all kept in touch with in recent years. My sister Melody and I are very, very much alike, and we used to be very close, I fear losing her when she finds out I am trans, much less see what I look like now. Living as a woman now, too. I really don't know how she will take this. So, I can empathize with you completely. Keep us informed.

hugs,

Stephanie

[Charlize]

That goes for you as well Stephanie. I hope you and your sister can grow even closer.

Hugs,

Charlize