Article: TERF Wars

[Guest JennaR]

Ky and Desi, I understand your points. And Desi, I wasn't trying to take what you said out of context. In the end, my perception of both of your arguments is that you think we should conduct ourselves in a manner which doesn't antagonize cis women or promote fears of PUCOTs, correct? Women have every right to feel safe and comfortable in gendered spaces.

My problem is the very concept that we should change our behavior in any way based on the fears some cis women may have. I'm not saying trans women should go into a female restroom sporting a beard if they want to. But where would that line of reasoning end?

At my company, if a woman feels uncomfortable with me using the women's restroom, should I change my behavior in some way to alleviate her fears? It seems to me that you're arguing that I should. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

Luckily, my company supports trans rights. If that woman feels uncomfortable, HR works with her to find another facility SHE can use, not ME. My company does not expect me to do anything special if another woman is uncomfortable or afraid. Her fears and feelings are her problem, not mine. They do not allow my behavior to be dictated at the whims of the cis women in the office. This is preconditioned on me presenting an outwardly female appearance in keeping with the standards of dress expected of other women in our company.

So I'm expected to behave reasonably, which I think we should do anyway. But they would never require me to present female identification or therapy letters for bathroom use. And I feel that's right. While I agree that there should be high standards in place to switch your ID from M to F (and there are), at my company no one would ever have the right to demand I present those to be permitted to use the facilities. Any women who don't like it need to fix themselves or go elsewhere; it's not my responsibility.

I just don't think it should be any different, which is where we're disagreeing. Especially since no PUCOT incidence has happened.

For the record, I hate rapists and feel that they should all face severe justice, be they trans or anyone else. Our community has criminals of all kinds in it, just like every single other demographic you could think of. How could we not? That's life. But should the conduct of the criminal minority really influence our behavior or how people see us? Why does the existence of criminals in our community change anything?

Jenna

[Guest]

Surely when you first transitioned on the Job you had to tell someone, and probably present a letter of sorts, before just popping into the ladies?

And yes, depending on what the concern is I would think it WOULD be up to you to try and alleviate it if you could. But then again, I have some issues with my upbringing that pretty much make me deferential to everyone, working on thag in therapy, so at any rate I'm not the best authority on that.

[Guest JennaR]

Ky,

"And yes, depending on what the concern is I would think it WOULD be up to you to try and alleviate it if you could."

This is where we are fundamentally in disagreement. I refuse to let what others think control my behavior. If they have a problem, or a fear, that's on them and it's their job to figure it out. This doesn't mean I antagonize people or anything, I just wouldn't alter my behavior if someone else had an issue with me. I'm extremely glad my company agrees with me on this.

I didn't transition on the job; I got hired after going full time and I filled the employer in at the interview stage. But still, not a single person where I work has ever asked to see my ID, or see a letter, or any other proof that I'm not a perv pretending to be female. We have a specific written policy on internal employees transitioning that lays out a preferred course of action. I will check it on Monday to see if existing employees must present documentation to switch bathrooms, but I don't believe that they do.

Jenna