Methods For Leaving It All Behind

[Guest OneOutOfnOne]

Some days I am confident in my decision to one day live as a female.

Yet, some days I concede that I could be perfectly happy living out the rest of my days as a peculiarly feminine male.

I don't want to announce my transition to everyone who has but the slightest contact with me still. I want my male identity to slowly fade away and my female identity to slowly surface somewhere else. I don't intend to change the names on my existing accounts on profiling websites, where hundreds of former acquaintances may see it - if they are not in my life, I feel no need to intrude upon them with my personal issues. I want to start rumours that I am dead, so I will be free to take on a new self. Is this immoral?

Or, I let things be as they are. I let things be, and no one will ask me uncomfortable questions, or make me feel unwelcome, unwanted. I let things be, and avoid any complications with future relationships or having and raising children. I believe myself able to conform. I do not wish to be difficult.

[Sally]

The one question that you need to answer truthfully for yourself is, whose life is this?

I have lived 57 years for everyone but me - it will be 58 in September and I haven't lived for me and I haven't transitioned and the need, desire, urge, or any other teerm that you can think of has never diminished, it has gotten steadily stronger and leaves me questioning what my life would have been like had I transitionrd in my teens.

For one thing I probably would not be so tall, I didn't get to this height untill I turned 22 and without the T I would ahave stayed around 5'10" and would probably never have had my eatting disorder where I stuff my face whenever depressed and I was depressed a lot.

I can not change the past only look to the future - don't give up on your future to live someone else's idea of your life.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Deeedoo]

I think that your social instincts are getting in the way of your well-being. You need to realize that it doesn't really matter what those people online think about you. Like Sally said, it's your life, not theirs. You won't be intruding on them; they're intruding on you by making you want to start rumors that you're dead. Don't try to conform. That won't get you anywhere. Besides, the people who will hate you for being transgender aren't the ones you want to be around. You won't be hurting anyone by becoming who you are. It's okay.