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article on late transitioning


Guest Faith gibson

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Guest Faith gibson

For me, when iIread the last paragraph, the thought wasn't why not do this for myself, but why shouldn't I be able to make it just a little while longer. In reality, I'm not sure that that is possible though.

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/03/08/fashion/for-some-in-transgender-community-its-never-too-late-to-make-a-change.html?rref=fashion&module=Ribbon&version=context&region=Header&action=click&contentCollection=Fashion%20%26%20Style&pgtype=article

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I did not really get going on my life until age 61, and today I am 67+. I was no more or less a Trans* person before that time, and I am no greater or lesser today other than being freed from the fear and self hatred I had for years.

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I found this to be a very well written and well researched article. All I can say is, "Ir's about time." So much of the stories of those featured in the article I identify with. While all of us may be trans, young and old, there are significant differences in so many aspects of transition, of life experiences, and expectations. I think its great that our issues get recognized, even if its just one article in 100. Thanks for posting this, Faith.

Carolyn Marie

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Guest Melissa~

It's good stuff IMO. I don't share too many articles on my facebook feed, this one makes the cut. I have a connection to this article too, in full disclosure.

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Guest Kenna Dixon

Thanks for posting the link. I've sent it to my daughter, who has known for a few years (and prefers to be shielded from it) but will benefit from a better understanding of how older people view their transgender condition.

In my case, the pressure to move forward comes from awareness of my advanced age (nearly 74), a brush with death in January and the fact that I'm surrounded by accepting women.

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Wow an article that so accurately reflects my experience. I will certainly send this on to others. Thanks for sharing it Faith.

Faith, I know you are sitting on a knifes edge. There is no reason to rush into this. As Vicky said there is really no difference in many ways. I am still the same person with the exception that i no longer feel i have to hide the reality of my gender. The attitudes of others have changed however and that has both positive and negative results. Don't ever rush into transition. That's one reason why a GT is so important.

Hugs,

Charlize

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Guest AllisonRae

I really appreciated the post and enjoyed the article. I have been feeling a bit self conscious about transition at my age (I am 48)but this showed me that it doesn't really matter what age you are. I have been beating myself up a great deal since in my heart I wanted to transition in my early 30s. I probably would have but also around the same time my first marriage fell apart. You are never to old to be you!

Hugs,

Allison

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Guest Faith gibson

Thanks Charlize,

I know I need to talk about this more but often it is very scary to do so. I always feel somewhat frustrated after talking with the therapist. I am afraid to reach that point where I feel the need to make the move into a physical transition. Over the last year, my inner self has moved forward in a huge way.

I've always felt that so many people don't realize what it is like to have had to live with this for a very extended period of time. The article deals with it somewhat which I found great that someone else recognizes what this must have been like for those of us that had no one to get support from, no idea what was happening, didn't even have a name to put on it. The toll on me anyways has been very large. It has shaped and restricted me so much. I'm sure others have dealt with the same.

I'm kind of just trying to be me in an everyday, every moment best way I can.

Faith

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A fine article. I was in my fifties when I decided to come out. I feel much better about myself and about life. While I haven't transitioned physically, I certainly have emotionally and spiritually. My wife has been apart of it and now she embraces it.

I have a saying 'better late than never' and have taken this to heart. I have no regrets about what I did. I believe that I'm a better person because of it.

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Faith i struggled for many years (most of my life) as well. Everything in society pushed the other direction. I can't regret my life prior to transition because now things almost feel the same again. The uproar his fading and life is continuing with one sweet change that somehow has brought greater acceptance of the world. Years of alcoholism, of shame, fear, anger and self loathing are settling into the background. I can't really say what allowed me to make the jump. Talking to my therapist certainly helped as did being here but perhaps i simply was able to give myself to a power greater than my fears.

Hugs,

Charlize

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  • 3 weeks later...
Guest LizMarie

Let me be honest, I thought I was too old to transition, that I'd let my "prime" slip away, etc., etc. In 2011, still deep in depression fighting the worst GID I'd yet experienced, I wrote to Lynn Conway, thanking her for being there for those young enough to transition. Lynn was very sweet in reply, thanking me for my compliments, and she closed with something that probably was the straw that broke the camel's back. "Liz, it's never too late to be yourself."

That was in July, 2011. As my depression deepened and I began plotting a suicide intended to look like an accident, part of me continued to scream "No! Let me out! I want to live!" And yet I still held the real me in, preparing to destroy everything rather than risk being who I truly was. And then a conversation with the woman who is my closest RL friend occurred and she gently but persistently pushed me towards therapy.

And the rest, as they say, is herstory. :)

It's never too late. It is never too late to become yourself.

Or as C.S. Lewis once said, "You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream."

I can't tell you what to do, Faith, but for me, I had to finally "dream a new dream" and I am glad that I did.

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Guest Mickey

...And then a conversation with the woman who is my closest RL friend occurred and she gently but persistently pushed me towards therapy.

And the rest, as they say, is herstory. :)...

I would dearly love to hear that story LizMarie, if you are willing to share it. :)

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