A topic for thought

[Charlize]

I posted this today on the tgaa website. Thought it was appropriate here as well.

This passage is from a non Aa approved source but it seems to speak to me. Please feel free to respond here or join us as you can for the Thursday Skype meeting.

It is from “The Golden Present” by Swami Satchindanda, March 29

A Teepee On Mars

The mind is restless; it is always looking for change. That is the nature of the mind.
It can never be satisfied. It might rebel and want you to go live in a teepee on the mountains.
After awhile it won’t be happy with your teepee on the mountaintop; it will make you think that only a teepee in the valley will make you happy.
Once in the valley, it will want a teepee on Mars. There is no limit for the minds restlessness.
You have to educate the mind. Ask it, “Why do you want to go to the mountain?” “To find peace there.”
"Why do you want to come down?” “I am tired of that and want to be with people.”
What does it all mean? That you are trying to borrow happiness from outside. Once you realize that peace and joy are always within you,
you will be happy no matter where you are. Whether you are in the valley or in the mountains, it is the same thing.
Whether you are on the earth or on Mars, it is the same thing.
Wherever you are, you should have a purpose. Go to the mountain for a purpose; come down for a purpose.
And don’t let that purpose be a selfish one. The purpose should be for the benefit of others, for service to humanity.



I think one of the reasons i drank was to find peace. The illusion that my mind would quiet and i would be content often drove me on.
The same happened in different ways as i transitioned. Fortunately i was sober as i actually found some honesty with myself.
I remember being asked “why do you want to come out to your home group” by a sober trans woman i met along my path.
I didn’t know but felt i must. Looking back i see how it was not simply a selfish act and has at times helped others to be honest with the issues
they had hidden from themselves and the world. At the time i was as driven as i had ever been for alcohol. I was looking for some peace with myself.
Being true to myself was honest and more a form of settling down than looking for relief elsewhere.
I am still often restless. I catch myself dreaming about surgeries and experiences which i may never be able to have.
My health and circumstances set limits on my transition but beyond that there are the ultimate bounds of transition we all face.
As an alcoholic it is vital that i realize that peace resides within me and not without. The same is true for me as a trans person.
I simply have to do the next right thing and that so often is a matter of reaching out to others.
That alone makes my teepee a more comfortable home where it sits today.

Hugs,

Charlize an alcholic

[gennee]

Thank you for sharing this, Charlize. I'm sure it has helped someone here. Yes, peace ca be found only from within. Once we have inner peace then life will not overwhelm or stress us.

[Robin Silk]

thank you Charlize

i think there are parallel paths for my sobriety and transition. it is good to find a place to discuss both. i hope to someday come out to my home group...some of the same fears exist for me in discussing AA. thanks!