Wondering what my life would have been like

[Guest brenda lee]

I often wonder what my life would have been like if I had been born a GG. I think I would have like dresses ,skirts , jeans and t-shirts .I think I would have still enjoyed cooking ,maybe learning to sew . I just wonder I would have dated much in high school and what kind of job would I have been interested in .Also what kind of guy would I have married, and how many children would I have . LOL Brenda Lee

[Carolyn Marie]

Brenda, I think all of us have wondered the same things. Playing "what if" games can be entertaining, but sometimes frustrating as well.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest]

Yeah, how different would my mind be? Would I be better or worse in terms of 'who I am', rTher than 'what I am'.

While I've wished I were a woman, I also wouldn't be the person I am today, gkkd or bad...

[tracy_j]

I wonder a bit like most others will.

I remember when I spent a while learning to write using my left hand when I was at school (I am normally right handed). I did find that my writing using my left hand (with difficulty) was almost identical to that with my right.

Although it is a different thing, in a similar way I think it not unlikely that I would be looking toward being more male if I was a cis woman. An obvious difference though would have been my social upbringing???

It would be interesting to know but it cannot be more than a dream

Tracy

[Guest Marcie]

I have been wondering that since grade school. I used to blame my parents for the mix up in chromosomes, now I know I am who I am and I don't like it at all. It is still fun to think about at times, dreaming of that first date, shopping for clothes (which I will still do once I get over this fright), slumber parties etc. Then I get depressed all over again and log onto Laura's so I can cry on an understanding shoulder. You are not alone girl friend.

[JJ]

I agree that most if not all of us -both MTF and FTM-have wondered and speculated the "what if" scenarios. But for myself I have concluded that there is no way to know.

I suspect it would not have been the bed of roses we are tempted to see it as. For myself as a risk taker I wonder if I would have survived. Or what would have happened if I got drafted in the Vietnam era. Cis people don't have that source of constant wrongness so many of us feel but so many have bad lives and make mistakes without it. I have no way of being sure I would not have been one of them.

In some way I have been made a better person because of my socialization and the way it forced me to come to terms with myself and to be strong with myself in ways I may not have been,

If I had suffered the same losses and harm I did early in life and been encouraged as men of my generation were to act it out I even think it could have been very bad. And I have my family so I can't really wish I had been born otherwise really. I wish I could be made into what I would have been . I wish I had transitioned when my daughter was young because my dysphoria took a toll on her as the depression and suffering of a parent inevitably does, but otherwise I usually just dismiss the "what if's " as something I cannot know.

No one gets to chose how they are born, only what they make of what they are given. I do know it would not necessarily really been better-there is just no way to know. So I try to just concentrate on making the best of who I am now. And accepting what can't be changed

Johnny

[Guest]

I suspect it would not have been the bed of roses we are tempted to see it as.

In some way I have been made a better person because of my socialization and the way it forced me to come to terms with myself and to be strong with myself in ways I may not have been

Johnny

Exactly. Our lives made us who we are and potentially better people because of it. Our gender issues most likely made us consider other peoples problems and thus we 'feel for them'. We probably woudn't be that way and would be totally different people...

Edited April 5, 2015 by Charlize
typo's

[Guest noeleena]

Hi,

It may be interesting in some aspects for myself yet what would... you... say if your born both male and female how do you answer a ? like yours, I don't know how to or weather I would wont or need to , maybe I have never needed to any way ,

the ? then becomes would I wont to be a male or rather a female ,from what I know of myself , im just so glad I was not born completely as ether , from what I hear and read from others I doubt any would understand what its like being as I am and a few others I know the only way the ? can be answered is youll never know , as I wont ,

to surmise or think about it we can only look and hear others and try and think wow I wonder what its like ,

...noeleena...

[Guest JODYGIRL]

you would be on the latest diet,trying to afford that pair of shoes in the shop whilst cursing their is not enough time to do the make up in the morning.

its always nice to ponder the what ifs but the truth is you will read into it what you think it would have been. what would have happened if you had been born cis female but discovered you were a ftm.

[Guest Kate]

When I was 14 or 15 my mom caught me wearing my oldest sister's clothes she didn't say much other than to tell me to change and not to go through my sister's things without permission, but when my dad got home from work he came into my room and sat me down for a talk. He was very sweet and told me that everyone copes with puberty in a different way and there was nothing weird or wrong about wanting to wear my sister's clothes. He then asked if I wanted to be my sister and even though I really wanted to say yes, my sister is awesome and to this day is a huge inspiration for the woman I want to be, I was too afraid. Looking back I wonder how my life would have been different if I would have had the courage to give the answer I wanted to on that day.

Kate