Gone full, I suppose

[Guest Kayla Grace]

Hi all.

I don't really leave the house much since I'm a gamergirl (lol), but when I do, I usually present female unless I'm going to the gym (which hasn't happened in a while admittedly) and really don't want to sweat buckets in my wig. I forgot that Kayla doesn't have government ID .... was that ever an annoying chat with the manager and assistant manager on two separate occassions.

Ughghg, and I may as well mention the annoying pharmacist while I'm here.

My god. So I was in a rexall yesterday getting a prescription for sleep medication - I don't know why I can't sleep. I have basically no stress besides working; and it's not overly so. Anyways, first of all, she called me "sah" which I would assume translates to "sir". I handed her my prescription paper which CLEARLY had my preferred name in brackets. AND I was dressed like a girl - enough for a place that government ID's you to refuse me, so .... -.-

THEN she has the nerve to call me Nathan. omg ... I definitely wanted to do some very unladylike things right then. I think that's a customer service complaint right there. The other lady has no problems calling me a she.

I didn't say anything. I just paid for my things and left cursing under my breath as I did so. I've never been more infuriated with customer service in my life.

God Bless

Kayla <3

[Carolyn Marie]

I think a private conversation with the pharmacist or clerk (most pharmacies have a space for "consultations" these days) would have alleviated future problems of that nature.

Around the time I transitioned socially, I talked to my pharmacist and explained that in the future, she may get scrips from me that have my new name, which wouldn't match my old data in their system. She was totally cool with it, and switched my entire record to my new name so none on the staff would have an issue.

Sometimes, a little advance notice goes a long way.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

I fired up my google translate app and put in "sah" and the only result that came back was a Malaysian word for 'valid', so your guess is as good as ours on that one. I don't know the scenario, maybe she was going to say sir but tried to stop herself and say something else and both words were joined into one. I dunno, just guessing really.

This incident at the drug store would be something to keep track of on your next visit. If it was a mistake and a really bad faux pas, then it would hopefully not happen again but if it does happen again, with the same pharmacist, then by all means have a private conversation with her and explain your name preference.

[Guest]

So sorry to hear abut the passive aggressive attitude, Kayla. I agree with Carolyn. I would have a had a quick private conversation with that individual and if the attitude didn't change, it would be time to escalate.

It's so very sad that peolle can't just live and let live...

*HUGS*

-Fiona

[StephanieVikingGirl]

Hi Kayla,

I can sympathize with you on dealing with pharmacies, I have the same problem every time I go to a different pharmacy. I have moved twice since starting HRT, and so each new pharmacy gets my name wrong initially since I haven't gotten my I.D.s done yet. It is disturbing, and annoying, but I always make sure that they know what name I am currently going by, and so by my next visit they always get it right. I have the same problem with bank branches, the small ones that I use in the Napa Valley all know my name, and address me as such. The big banks here in Sacramento are another (read annoying) story entirely. No matter what I look like, and sound like, they address me initially by my photo I.D. name/gender. I always tell them that I go by Stephanie, and so for the rest of the transaction they refer to me as such, and they are careful not to misgender me. I am working on getting my health insurance, and medical (trans) care transferred from Fremont, California (a long way away) to Sacramento where I currently live. Once I have that done, I will have my new doctor (Alex has already talked to him about it, we will have the same trans doctor/ endo) fill out the medical document (I have already completed the other documents) necessary for my official name and gender change. I will have him fill out the one for the DMV at the same time. Once my I.D.s (especially my drivers license) all match my presentation I shouldn't experience any more annoying little problems with misgendering/naming.

Congrats on being full time! Groovy.

hugs,

Stephanie

[Guest Kayla Grace]

Well, the only time I don't present female is at family gatherings ... luckily those don't come along very often for me to have my legal name and gender thrown in my face; and at the gym - since Kayla's hair is long and synthetic, it would come out of the hairbands, and attract FAR too much attention. Her breasts are also quite large and bounce - something she doesn't feel like experiencing in the gym with everyone staring ;-; , that doesn't even mention the possibility her breasts could fall out of her bra while she's pumping the elliptical.

So ... full time with a couple exceptions?

God Bless

Kayla <3

[StephanieVikingGirl]

Hi Kayla,

Yep, you are full time with a couple of perfectly reasonable exceptions. I kinda have no choice but to be full time, all the time. I have really changed too much under hormones, so I cannot present as male even if I wanted to. My voice has changed as well, and so I am always gendered correctly on the phone. I am not complaining mind you, I am really astonished, and pleased. Since I know that you are in the process of attaining hormones, I just think it is good for me to let you know that it is a one way trip. You are young, and pretty, and soon enough those will be permanent boobs, and hair. Your voice will at least soften as well, and it might even change in pitch, and resonance like mine has on HRT. Alex recorded my voice last night, and I sound like a slightly high BBC news woman, or perhaps a slightly high female wine tour guide, lol. Congrats again on being full time, and happy transitioning.

hugs,

Stephanie