purging

[Guest danvis91]

I have been doing some reflection and I discovered that over the course of the last 10 years, I have spent around 2500 on clothes that I have purged out at different times in my life. I have lost many nice tops and jeans. I have lost a lot of underwear too. I wish I didn't feel the guilt and the shame to purge all the time. I think I would have been happier overall and I would be able to also have something to show for that investment. How much have you purged and is there any regrets?

[Charlize]

Unfortunately i also purged many times with guilt, the fear of being discovered, and usually with a prayer that i'd be 'cured'. I was 'cured', but instead of believing that required purging i found it was a matter of acceptance. I can't regret my earlier purges. Most of the clothing was inappropriate or ill fitting. I learned how to get sizes that fit, got past the fear of buying female clothing, and realized the desire to live as myself wasn't going away. These reevaluations were worth the price. Now when i throw things away it's because i've worn them out or they have gotten too stained working the farm. I've got low standards for a woman but higher than they were as a man. "That old rag can go!"

Hugs,

Charlize

[Guest Roberta-Belinda]

Danvis and Charlize like you I have purged many times and thrown away a lot of clothes that have cost me a fortune. I have been dressing up as a girl since I was 12 in 1972 but did not have the courage to buy my own clothes until I was twenty one. The first item I ever bought was a pair of fifteen denier tights from Woolworths , I wore them twice and then the guilt set in and I threw them away thinking that I would never cross dress again. Not surprisingly the feelings did not go away and within a few months I began to buy many pairs of tights at local department stores. The pattern continued I had great enjoyment wearing them but purged the lot after a few weeks. I continued to buy and purge off and on for a period of thirty years. Thankfully this all stopped in early 2011 when my wife came home unexpectedly and caught me dressed as Belinda in full skirt, blouse, tights and heels. As I had already outed myself to her ten years before it wasn't a total shock to her. I unburdened myself to her once again, although she was still not a hundred per cent accepting she understood my femme feelings to a certain degree. As a result I have not purged a single item in over four years. Although she does not approve a hundred per cent she is fully aware of my crossdressing, as a result I no longer feel any guilt. In the last four years I have had some of the best crossdressing sessions in all my years of dressing en femme.

[Guest]

I went through those cycles too, most of us do. I stashed or donated to the boxes in grocery store parking lots, sometimes a dumpster. I was trying to throw away my guilt. Or the guilt of an uptight society?

As I got more sophisticated, so did my hiding places. I would stash in a box in the attic. I would then tell family members not to go there. It's filled with black widows, creepy crawlies, rabid roof squirls, whatever. In Arizona an attic is only bare and dust as the temperature gets well over 130+ degrees Fahrenheit. Even the termites leave town.

My last invention was a secret closet undetectable behind a wall in my walk-in closet. The latch was inside a door strike plate hole. When I came out I no longer needed to hide so it was perfect for valuables. I never told the short sale new owners it was there. That bit of knowledge would have cost $70,000 more. LOL!

I will never go through that much work to make one again. I would rather sit and do my nails. Giggle. Hug. JodyAnn

[Guest danvis91]

I know purging is normal and I too have learned a lot. However I regret not sellung some of it. Some things I would buy new. I wasn't about to try selling used panties or anything. But jeans and tops and skirts and bras. I still could have the purge process with out a total money loss.

[Guest Razilee]

I too have purged many times. Sometimes I just threw things away. Other times I was able to donate them. I even burned a bra once. It's good to try and thing of it all as a learning experience. Having pretty things helped me get through the dysphoria to the point of strengthening me enough to take on the challenge not having them again. I've had to give away many more books over the years than clothes. One has to keep things in perspective.

[Guest]

Raz, you are the cat's meow! You always get me laughing. Jody

[Guest Clair Dufour]

I still use the bras and forms I bought in the Mid 80's! Women's jeans/shorts and plain tops I wear daily so, they wear out. I have a few skirts and dresses that I wear from time to time and swap out whenever I find something I like better. Right now I favour cargo skirts. I don't feel guilty. It's women who should feel guilty. Taking over men's styles whilst defending their exclusive rights to frocks and women's kit. You don't see any of them purging their jeans and sneakers!

[Guest AshleighP]

I guess we've all purged at one time or another. I do agree that a lot of the things I would buy when I first started "seriously" dressing were ill fitting or inappropriate. I choose to think that getting rid of them was a way to update my wardrobe. Styles and seasons change, so updating is not a bad thing. There is also that learning curve where you are figuring out sizes and your own individual style. Sure, there are some items that I wish I still had, but that's water under the bridge.

I do have to admit, that I still have the first 2 skirts I ever bought for myself. Neither one fits well anymore (I've lost quite a bit of weight since I bought them), but I can't seem to part with them for nostalgia reasons.

[Guest]

Danvis, most of us have been there. I'm certain that i threw away at least twice that. And of course I regret wasting that money and losing al those cute clothes.

[Guest dani35]

I'm guilty of purging on a retail store's credit account. It's just so simple ordering and collecting from the store the next day and not actually paying anything there and then. So recently I have racked up a debt of around 1500, which will take me around 6 months to pay back, but I've had lots of fun

[Guest honeynocturnal]

Girl, you got a problem!

That would be SO easy to do.

When I am in less precarious financial position I want to add a lot of things to my wardrobe. I couldn't ever see myself purging, to be honest. I'm way too much of a clothes hoarder.

I do remember feeling guilty about dressing when I had a girlfriend, but not guilty enough to get rid of my sparse treasures. But I would put them away for months or years and never even get them out.

I'm so happy now to have the privacy to wear whatever I want!

[Guest Wendae]

Many times over the last 48 years. I regret it and swore not to ever do it again. Just went thru a period were I was stuck in drab mode and the "pink fog" had lifted. The male brain kicks in and it is a struggle to not lose that fem side. After 3 months I of feeling a bit lost I finally recovered and able to Wendae again.

[Guest]

I do remember feeling guilty about dressing when I had a girlfriend, but not guilty enough to get rid of my sparse treasures.

When you're married and it turns into a large fight, and it seems to make 'her' happy that you're throwing it away. The do this over and over. It's a rather common scenario.....

-Fiona