Need Help

[Guest TrueMe]

Hi I am new here. I am just really confused on who I am. I have never been a girly girl but I have never really been really manly either. I am a female will born female but like I said I am really confused. I am married and have always joked with him and other people in my family about changing to be a male. Just to see how they would react. I have always wondered what my life would be if I was a male. I was dressing like a guy when I was younger but always had my mom telling me I need to be a girl and dress as a girl. She started to buy me girl stuff so I wore it and started to feel make up and through out school make up was more a mask. I suffer from depression and anxiety because I had stuff happen in my childhood. So I suffer a lot in trying to hide myself. I have put a lot of thought recently into seeing if I would rather live as a man. So far I have cut my hair like a mans and let me tell you I feel so confident and much happy with such a small change. Not everyone was happy about the hair cut mainly my sister she seemed almost disgusted I cut my hair so short I was always close to her but recently we have grown apart. I just feel confused on where I fall on the whole gender thing. My mom thinks I will regret changing if I do decide to. My husband is supportive but I feel scared it will change. The more I think of being a male the more I feel happy and comfortable and even confident which I never feel. My only issues is that I want children and would like to be the one to carry them I currently suffer from Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome which has made me very overweight and to grow hair and we have been having issues getting pregnant which makes me wonder if I am question all this because of the pcos. I need help trying to figure out if I am a normal women or if I am something else. Thanks in advance for any advice you may have.

[Guest TrueMe]

I forgot to mention I also have a lot of female tattoos one that is really big is the one around my neck that looks like a necklace. I got female tattoos because my mom wanted me to have feminine tattoos and I wanted to try and please her. She is more supportive now or is trying to be.

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome to the Playground, TrueMe. I think you will benefit from being here and asking questions and learning all you can. There are a lot of experienced folks here to guide you, although deciding who you are, and what your path should be, are up to you to decide.

A gender therapist can help you with that discovery process. If you can find one in your area, I would encourage you to check it out. We have a list of therapists, by state, on our resource pages on the main part of the site. You can also check with a local LGBT center.

Please look around the forums and ask all the questions you like.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Opal]

Hello TrueMe, and welcome to Laura's! Some years back I met an FTM who was able to have at least one child prior to transitioning. It did require a lot of patience and planning, but it did work out great for him.

Family acceptance can be difficult to come by, and some families will never be accepting. As Carolyn just mentioned, getting a good Gender Therapist can be essential in helping to correctly guide you towards your goals.

Wish you the best on this.

Hugs,

Opal

[Charlize]

Welcome to Laura's. Take some time and read some of the posts in the FTM forum and as mentioned above a GT can really help. I have found that reading and posting both questions and replies has helped me as well. Hopefully it will help you.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Guest TrueMe]

Thank you all for replying appreciate it! I know that no one on here can tell me and I looked into a gender therapist and there is only one in my area but I see a regular counselor so might try to talk to her and we if she can help me. I was more looking for someone who has kinda been through what I am feeling and telling me their experience I guess. I think I just mainly feel scared of doing what I feel would be right for me because of judgment or that it could just pass.