Planning Ahead

[Guest MrAwesome]

About a week or 2 ago, me and my mum decided on moving, we're still looking for a place, but I've been thinking a lot. I don't want anyone to think I'm "EMO" or not want to hang with me because I have scars on my arm, and might be a cutter, or seem less masculine cause I used to cut. It's mostly just one BIG scar that is hard to explain away. I was thinking for the smaller white scars that "My cats were fighting one day and when I broke them up they clawed the hell out of me." but I'm not really sure what to say about the big one. The worst of it is a little longer than an inch, and about 1/8 2/8 of an inch wide and its on the back of my arm, towards the center. Any ideas?

And also I was wondering if any of you skate board? I wanted to learn to skate board a little before I move! and IF any of you could recommend web sites or give me advice or anything, that would be great.

And last but not least, I was wondering, if anyone could give me some advice on like socializing, how to make new friends, approaching people? I need as much advice and help as I can get in this area! o.o

[Guest OneOutOfnOne]

Did you just answer question mark number one with question mark number two?

Also, you don't want my advice on making new friends, I give awful first impressions.

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

About a week or 2 ago, me and my mum decided on moving, we're still looking for a place, but I've been thinking a lot. I don't want anyone to think I'm "EMO" or not want to hang with me because I have scars on my arm, and might be a cutter, or seem less masculine cause I used to cut. It's mostly just one BIG scar that is hard to explain away. I was thinking for the smaller white scars that "My cats were fighting one day and when I broke them up they clawed the hell out of me." but I'm not really sure what to say about the big one. The worst of it is a little longer than an inch, and about 1/8 2/8 of an inch wide and its on the back of my arm, towards the center. Any ideas?

And also I was wondering if any of you skate board? I wanted to learn to skate board a little before I move! and IF any of you could recommend web sites or give me advice or anything, that would be great.

And last but not least, I was wondering, if anyone could give me some advice on like socializing, how to make new friends, approaching people? I need as much advice and help as I can get in this area! o.o

Without knowing what your scars look like I can't make up a good back story. I knew a dude that had a forearm scar from falling through a plate glass door. He tripped, put his arms out to catch himself, and then fell through. Another good one is the "car accident" story. Just make sure that you write your story out and rehearse it a lot. People catch on if you aren't consistent.

The car accident and falling through the door stories cover both larger and smaller scars.

I used to skateboard back in the day. Sometimes I'll still roll around on my longboard. The best thing to do is hit up Google and check out some sites. Before you worry about reading stuff, just get a board and start playing around with it. Make sure you are an expert at getting on and riding without falling. If you've never ridden one, it's harder than you'd think. Keep your feet over the bolts. Once you get good at that, try to learn to ride a manual (like rolling while you wheelie). After you can balance pretty good with that, try to learn to ollie. Expect to fall...A LOT. You may even want to try taking the trucks off the board and trying the basic foot movement inside, on carpet.

I never was very good at the ollie. I can really only do it standing still, not while rolling. It's hard.

[Guest Crossroads]

I think the best is to make up a new incredible story every single time. But I'm always silly. I'd talk about getting ripped by a mountain lion, and then say that I was doing movie stunts and cut it up.

Yeah....that's so cool...

[Guest Little Sara]

I think the best is to make up a new incredible story every single time. But I'm always silly. I'd talk about getting ripped by a mountain lion, and then say that I was doing movie stunts and cut it up.

Yeah....that's so cool...

3 words:

Why so serious?

[Guest Pól_Eire]

If you're creative enough to make up something new every time, go for it. It'd become a quick joke with people you do make friends with. I fell through a glass door once myself, so most of the scars I have are from that. You could make up something inanely stupid that you did as a kid. Depends where the scar is exactly though.

Skateboarding, if you're going to take that up anyway, would be a good bet though. Because you probably will get some nice looking scrapes from learning to skateboard anyway. If you must lie, be specific. Don't pick something outrageous, pick something easy to remember, something that you already know about, that's already got a bit of truth in it anyway. Which is why I suggested picking skateboarding. You can get all kinds of cuts from that. If it doesn't look like an asphalt scrape, say when you fell, there was a bit of glass in the ground and that cut you. Don't mention it unless people ask though. Not that I would ever, ever give someone advice on how to lie :whistles innocently:

Well, I'm definitely not a social butterfly. I will give you these pieces of advice, but take it with a grain of salt because I'm not so brilliant at this myself. In no particular order:

1. Be yourself, but be reserved. Don't tell everyone everything about yourself all at once -- usually, they don't actually want to know (as terrible as that sounds).

2. Be friendly, be ready to talk about yourself, but try to listen more than you talk. People like to talk about themselves, and they'll most likely enjoy the conversation more if you listen to them and ask them about themselves. Don't just stand there, like a statue though.

3. Don't be afraid to try new things, but also don't be an idiot. Don't let someone manipulate you into a situation where you're uncomfortable, just because you're new. If they ask you to do something and you don't want to do it, don't. In the end, they'll either respect you more for sticking to your principles, or they're probably not worth knowing more if they don't.

4. This one is related to #3. You're going into high school, so that's like fourteen years of age, yeah? Remember that some kids (well, a lot of kids) can be kind of idiots at this age (I should know, I was definitely an idiot at that age. I'm 20 now, which is young enough that secondary school is still fresh, but old enough to have a bit of perspective on it). Find people who are nice and be friends with them. The others will either come round and be decent people by the time you're getting ready to graduate, or they won't. You can't change them.

5. In relation to #'s 3 and 4. Your safety should always be your number one priority. Anytime you realize you have put something before your own safety, re-evaluate what you are doing immediately. There are always going to be kids who smoke or drink. I would avoid doing this if at all possible because (aside from the obvious health and legal reasons) it is not safe to be a transperson around intoxicated people, and if you yourself are intoxicated, you can't protect yourself properly. If you must smoke or drink, do so with close close friends only, whom you trust. Avoid large parties. Masses of intoxicated people are generally just dangerous things to be around if you're trans.

5. If you're going stealth at school, the most important thing is to always always keep your head. People notice panic, fear, and general uneasiness. So be calm. You're finally getting to be yourself now. Don't worry about people finding out. Do what you can to prevent that, if you like. But if it happens, it happens, and you may not be able to control that. Worry will only make things harder for you in the long run and it won't help you do anything better. Come up with a contingency plan for if you get outed. If you're prepared, you don't have to worry.

6. Give it time. That's hard to do, I know. But sometimes it takes a while to make friends. Don't expect to have new best friends overnight, or even over a week.

7. Participate.

8. Don't worry about being cool. Finding nice people is way more important in the long run, and being uncool is less stressful than running with the super-popular crowd. Just be yourself.

Whew. I guess I had more advice than I thought I would. Take it with a grain of salt though, like I said, but these should enough to get you thinking concretely, anyway. PM me if you want to talk about it more. I started at university in a different country and I didn't know anyone. It's not the same thing, but there are similarities.

Good luck with everything

-Pól

[Guest leo]

haha sara

why so serious son?!

heath ledger rules!!

[Guest Little Sara]

haha sara

why so serious son?!

heath ledger rules!!

He gave the story 3 times, right? All 3 times it was different events that got his scar on his mouth. All 3 times it was pretty creepy.

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

He gave the story 3 times, right? All 3 times it was different events that got his scar on his mouth. All 3 times it was pretty creepy.

I gotta watch that movie. My attention span is so short that it takes me about 3 sittings to get through a whole movie.