scared out of my mind

[Guest Hannah Emma]

hello everyone I am very new here. I am extremely scared talking to anyone about being transgendered. even signing up to talk to you all has taken me months to do. I am a veteran and want to finally take action on what I felt inside pretty much all my life. I've known since very early on that I should be different then what I was.I know I need to see a therapist and I do for my depression and stuff but I don't even know how to begin the topic of transgender. everytime I go and have the plan of finally talking about it I just get very scared and don't. I am hoping by talking to you all I can get over the fear.

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome to the Playground, Dawn. Please believe me, we have all been where you are; fearful, anxious, uncertain, and confused. We know how you feel, and we can help.

I don't know how much you know about all of this, but I encourage you to just ask questions, voice your fears, and let us help with solid, accurate information. It is not an easy journey, but it is doable, and happiness can be found. One good thing is that the VA is getting on board, and many clinics and hospitals have knowledgeable counselors and therapists, or can refer you. The VA will treat gender dysphoria, including therapy and hormone replacement therapy, if warranted.

Please look around these forums, especially the MtF Forum and sub-forums and learn all you can. We'll be here for you. I do ask our new members to please read the site Terms and Conditions, as the rules help us keep the site safe. A link can be found at the lower right of every page.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Charlize]

Welcome Dawn. Telling someone else was perhaps the hardest thing i have done. I diid it and took my first step towards dealing with the gender issues i had always lived with. That step opened some doors and bit by bit i was able to find myself.

We all have different paths and ways of finding peace. Trans* is not a path to an end. Often it is simply being honest about feelings. Sometimes we may simply be, or dress a bit and others go to different extremes. The most important step you are taking now. Talking to others here certainly helped me a great deal. I found i wasn't alone.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Guest ArianaD]

I have an off the wall suggestion for you. Buy yourself this necklace (not my shop, lol):

https://www.etsy.com/listing/103816024/pewter-transgender-lgbt-gay-pride?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=transgender%20necklace&ref=sr_gallery_15

Then wear it to your next session with it tucked under your t-shirt. As you sit down to talk to your therapist, simply adjust it so it shows. If the therapist is wise to the transgender topic, they may ask about it and it may help you start talking about it. If they have little experience with it and do not know the symbol, maybe it won't happen. If that does not work, then you are back to trying to bring up your courage to talk about it.

This is goofy I know, but having loved ones ask me about my hair growing longer was a good way to at least get a conversation going. Using this necklace is much more direct, but only if they are aware of what it means.

-Ari

[Guest Hannah Emma]

thanks for your suggestions. I have another appointment on June 1st so maybe I can work up some courage to say it then. who knows?

[Guest Charlotte J.]

I read in your introduction that you were able to talk to your therapist about depression and anxiety. I think you should view that as a step toward talking about being transgender. It was your first session with her, right? Allow yourself some space and time to be comfortable and maybe feel a bit more relaxed with her. In time, as you develop rapport with her, you may feel more open and safe. Just my thoughts.