Self-Acceptance and Emotional Changes

[Guest Charlotte J.]

I have to share this and would love to hear from people who have had similar experiences.

In the past two months, I've experienced a profound shift in how I perceive myself; I've been actively accepting myself as transgender. This has caused a shift in how I perceive the world, as well. Since consciously gendering myself as closer to/more female than male, or more correctly embracing my authentic gender, I smile more, I experience more happiness, and I find joy much easier. It sounds absurd, but I'd go as far as saying "my brain feels different." I just feel like I've let down defenses that I didn't even know I was holding up. I feel like walls are falling all around my psyche. I am becoming immensely aware of how constrained I've felt for almost my entire life. I was always aware of this constraint--it was sadness, it was anger and frustration, it was confusion, it was low self-esteem, and a bunch of other negative emotions and states of mind. And today when I was out just shopping, dressed in men's clothes as I always dress in public at this point, other people responded to me in interesting ways. Two women called me "sweetie" in passing. An older man offered to help me move some heavy bags of soil that I was putting in my van (I politely declined and thanked him).

To be clear, I am not on hormones. I have not changed anything except for my mindset. These are profound changes that I'm experiencing simply based on accepting and loving myself as I am. And for the first time in a long time, I really do love myself. I am incredibly happy with how I am simply being in the world. I feel the change not only in my mind, but in my chest, my heart. I feel like that figurative heart that holds all of our emotions is just growing with love. This is amazing.

AMAZING.

I have, on a number of occasions recently, been overwhelmed with these positive feelings. I have been close to crying with joy and I have cried with joy. And I am seriously considering that the J. initial in the name I use on these forums stands for Joy.

I had to share all that. Thank you for reading it. Please, if anyone has experienced something similar, please share. Let's build a thread of self-acceptance and joy.

With a full heart and a smile that is tearing down walls,

Charlotte Joy

[Charlize]

I was amazed at how much even the first steps towards an honest self acceptance changed my perception of the world. I think those feelings were very important in giving me the strength to continue opening and accepting my self as i am.

Thank you for sharing your journey.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Guest Raya]

Charlotte, I have remarked to others how much better I feel, just having acceptance. I haven't started HRT, and stopped self medicating with herbals a couple months ago, but really feel a transition, and it makes me so happy it shows to others. So yes, I have felt similarly - one difference is that I would say it is losing self hate, still working towards the self love.

And I don't express it as well as you do

I'm also still amazed that I can be proceeding without crippling fear. Today I was in an odd place though, questioning pretty much everything.

[Guest honeynocturnal]

Wow, Charlotte, your feelings are very similar to my own as of late.

WIthin the last two weeks I have come out to 14 of my closest friends and more are on the agenda in the next couple of days. This is a precursor to my "public" transition which will be in about a month, I think

The response I've got from my friends is overwhelmingly positive and loving. I am SO blessed.

The joy I have felt in this time of transition, the last three months, has been intense. I am definitely happier than I have ever been in my life. And happy all the time, not just for fleeting moments. It is really wonderful to be alive right now!

I am free, really free, for the first time. I have a deep and abiding faith and connection to the divine, and have received utter confirmation and affirmation from my Goddess, on the night of the full moon last week. I am now complete and I consider that to be the turning point.

I am now Lunara, princess of moonlight and shadows.

I am now, for all intents and purposes, living my life as a woman. My physical appearance will need some work, but I am truly lucky to have a feminine appearance and a beautiful body. It's not going to be a struggle at all.

Thursday my boyfriend and I made love and I experienced a female orgasm for the first time.

This has been by FAR the best week of my life.

Blessings to you all!

<3,

+--- Lunara ---+

[Guest Charlotte J.]

Thanks for the responses, everyone. Glad to hear that you are also feeling happy, Tracy and Lunara. And I'm glad to hear that you, Charlize, experienced something similar which has continued as you've progressed with transition. And Megan, yes, let's spread the joy. I continue to be amazed at just how different I feel and how much this happiness can be a baseline. It's not only that I feel happy, but I'm consciously aware and hopeful that this happiness may my new normal. I really feel that I am beginning to see and express myself in a way that I was incredibly ignorant of for a very long time.

[Guest honeynocturnal]

That's great, Charlotte! Consistent happiness is something which eludes many, and it is a joy to behold. Summer has come at last; a late summer but a summer nonetheless. It's our time to shine!

There is something so powerful and necessary in what we are, who we are...

[gennee]

The day I accepted myself as a cross dresser was the day I was liberated and completed. Later after some research I discovered that I was transgender. Self acceptance is the first step toward self discovery. I'm not on hormones but my emotional state is much better. I cry for joy some times, and am out and about being Gennee.

Charlotte, much of your experience is similar to mine. I'm very happy that you have accepted yourself and see that you are much happier. Others will see it in your countenance.

[Guest Charlotte J.]

Thanks for the response, Gennee!

The day I accepted myself as a cross dresser was the day I was liberated and completed. Later after some research I discovered that I was transgender. Self acceptance is the first step toward self discovery. I'm not on hormones but my emotional state is much better. I cry for joy some times, and am out and about being Gennee.

Charlotte, much of your experience is similar to mine. I'm very happy that you have accepted yourself and see that you are much happier. Others will see it in your countenance.

My relationships with my parents and sister have improved. I'm more open, more interested in talking with them. I've not come out to them yet, but I'd be surprised if they haven't recognized that I've been happier and more relaxed in the past couple months. So, yes, I'm allowing others as well as myself to see me as I am--more expressive, more emotionally engaged--and that works to make relationships better. I'm excited about that.

[Guest]

Charlotte, I just read your post above. WOW! I can relate to so much of what you described. I have always had feelings inside me that I should have been born in a female body, but I would always make excuses to myself and suppress the feelings. I have only started to accept myself for who I am for the last week or two, but I feel so much happier. It's like I somehow finally fit into the world. I was doing some work on my car this morning, and I had this constant feeling inside me of freedom. I kept telling myself that I am transgendered and that's ok.

Thank you for sharing your story.

Jayne

[Guest Rachelle68]

Hi Charlotte so happy for you, im not quite there yet but your right once I accepted who I was walls did come down and I couldn't believe how much I denied my true feelings, I'm slowly getting there. So beautiful. Thank you.

[Guest]

Charlotte, this is a wonderful post! As others had responded, I too, have had similar, if not the same, experiences and feelings of joy!

~Milani