Grieving A Cousins Death

[Guest Adam_Mazur]

Hello and good afternoon folks today I really dont think there is much good about it... Yesterday my mom grandma and I were headed to Ky for a fun party everything was going oh so well. Here we are headed down the highway when we get a text message from a family member that states Tom is in the hospital he has had a stoke and they are calling all family to come and see him before he goes. Sudden happiness turns to dark and grey sadness. Here we are all the family standing over a man 42 years of age with no health problems never a smoker nor drinker an never did drugs. Believed his family came first and was so loving an caring for ANYONE. I stood there with a blank face and looked at all the tubes connected to his body and said how could u leave our family like this. After an hour an a half a nurse came in an said he is breathing on his own his heart is beating on his own but if we take the tubes out it could be minutes hours or maybe even a day but eventually we would lose him completely. Thru the crying it was said a blood vessel ruptured in his head which made his brain swell an blood was going down his spinal cord. We knew we lost the man that cared so much. She signed the agreement over to the hospital to go ahead an remove the tubes an he lay there just like he was sleeping. about 45 minutes later we decide its time to let the wife grieve over her dear husband. So an on edge evening filled with nothing but tradegy swept us up like a tornado would. at 4:30am i received a text stating he died at 4:20am. I am so hurt right now I am all alone in this apartment an I have been doing nothing but cleaning. I just need love an sympathy from anyone anyone who cares

[Sally]

Oh, Adam,

I am here and I care.

Let's stop cleaning for a moment and take a little time for you.

Come here and sit on the couch with me so I can hold you.

It is very hard to lose a family member and good man but he will never be gone as long as he is remembered, his wife will carry his memory for ever and so does your mother and grandmother.

You can remember him and pay homage to him by becoming the kind of man that he was, caring and putting family first are great attributes.

Remember him and strive to live a life that would make him proud.

There is no shame in missing someone, grieving is a process that helps us to deal with our loss and that is what it is.

Tom's departure has left a hole in your family and in your heart, Tom would not want you to hurt so plug that hole in your heart with all of the wonderful memories of Tom.

Wipe those images from the hospital completely away - take this time to sit quietly and remember him very much alive and the cousin that you looked up to and admired will be forever in your mind that way and not that last view in a hospital room or a casket.

I lost my faovorite Uncle a few years ago and I had to work very hard to get the images of his final days out of my mind, I did and now whenever I think of him he is that happy man that played organ by ear loved movie trivia (but wasn't right that often) and prioneered Online journalism in my area.

This is so important for you to carry the positive images of his life with you.

For now just sit here with Sally and cry if you need to, it's OK.

I love you,

Sally

[Guest Donna Jean]

Adam, Sweetheart....

I am so sorry....

Let me give you the only hugg that I can right now.....

My deepest condolences to you and the rest of the family....I suppose that I wasn't prepared for a post like this here...

Honey...there will be people who come and read your post and not leave a comment...for some it is just too hard...But, I'm sure that everyone feels the same as I do...

Such a young and good person...I guess there will be as many reasons as as stars in the sky...

But I do feel the pain in your heart....and everyone here cares....

Remember, Sweetheart....we're on a website here.....but, we're real people who would like to hugg you tightly...

I'm so sorry....

All My Love...

Donna Jean

[Guest Adam_Mazur]

Sally,

Thank you so much for taking ur time out to comfort me in my time of need. I am just taking it moment by moment. We come from a history of medical issues in our family thats why when I hear of stories about changing lives for the better it puts a smile on my face. This man used to pick me up when I was younger and throw me over his shoulders an tickle me till i would pee my pants. Or he would thump me on my forehead and tell me to do my homework cause I was smart. These are memories that I will forever keep in my head an in my heart.

Because of the medical conditions our family has I am not taking a step back in life I am going to reduce my thoughts of transition. I am still going to be Adam I will always be Adam but I will now foretake more precautions in life an go see my doctor regularly and I will hold off on taking T to make me me. I will always have my mind set on doing what is going to make me happy but being 6'0" and overweight I need to look at myself and my family an take time to replinish myself on trying to better my life. I don't want to die at an early age I don't want to lose anyone else in my family for reasons that can never be answered. I need to make myself stronger and more stable than what I have.

Love always,

ADAM

[Sally]

Adam,

You take care of yourself and take that weight off, I'm working on the same problem but to an extreme.

Keep him close and he will thump you on the forehead when you start to do something stupid.

All of my love to you,

Sally

[Guest Adam_Mazur]

Donna Jean,

Everything happened so fast it was almost like a train hit us all from behind. We kept saying yesterday that today was susposed to be a good day. Today was susposed to be a fun day. Now turns to tradegy. I am lost for words I haven't slept well waiting for phone calls. I can't pretend that it doesn't hurt cause by god it hurts like hell. I am stuck working this week customer service so I have to paint the fake smile on my face as usual an try and pretend everything is going to be ok. It will but it takes time. It hurts so much. An when ur loved ones don't know when to comfort u it hurts them as well. I have tried to cleanse myself by breaking down in the shower but that doesn't help I will forever try an make myself right. with all my love

ADAM

[Guest Adam_Mazur]

Sally,

For once I smiled. Actually I laughed. He will forever thump me on my forehead when I start to get stupid.

If it is ok with u can you possibly help me an support me on getting the weight off its weighing me down bad

Love

ADAM

[Sally]

Sally,

For once I smiled. Actually I laughed. He will forever thump me on my forehead when I start to get stupid.

If it is ok with u can you possibly help me an support me on getting the weight off its weighing me down bad

Love

ADAM

You bet!

I'll tell you what, we won't start today or even tomorrow - pick a good day after everything has settled down there.

And then send me a PM and say - tomorrow we start!

We'll keep a log of everything that we eat and post it to each other - nothing like writing it down to discover why that bag of M&Ms disappeared.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest Adam_Mazur]

THANK YOU SALLY... AFTER THE FUNERAL THIS WEEK AN THE PAIN BEGINS TO FINALLY DIE DOWN I WILL DO JUST THAT CAUSE I SPLURGED ON FOOD LAST NIGHT AND TODAY I THINK IT WAS HIM TELLING ME IT WAS OK TO EAT LOL.

I WILL ADD U TO MY FRIENDS LIST AN WE CAN GO FROM THERE

LOVE

ADAM

[Guest Jackson]

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Y'all take care now.