Developing story- partner going to reveal what I am to her parents tonight!

[Guest ~Cadence~]

Ok, I'll be honest, I'm a terrified wreck right now. But this story requires a little backstory.

Shortly after I came out to my partner, she lost her job. Since she hates Cincy so much (not a fan myself) we decided that we are going to move back to Columbus, to be with our friends in a much more welcoming environment. So she started taking temp work up in Columbus in order to find a new full time job, then I'm going to follow. Right now she is living with her parents.

This weekend her sisters were in town. One of them is vey open to gender and identity issues so my partner told her what is going on with me. The sister offered to be an intermediary for the conversation between the parents And the partner. I fully support this, and my partner decided that tonight is the night.

I'm so afraid that they are going to reject me and my partner. They have been better parents then my own, and have shown me love and support like I have never known. I just feel like this is betraying that love.

On our wedding day, her father took my hands and told me to take care of her daughter. Tonight, while it's

Not her intention, my partner is going to reveal to them that all the pain she has been in over the past 6 months is because I don't identify as who they see.

Pardon any typos. I'm posting this from my phone in the bathroom at my work. Trying to calm down

[Guest Raya]

Ok Cadence, 3 deep breaths...

Big hugs, and best of luck to you both!

We're with you all the way, and here for you. But I think it'll go much better than you fear!

And still hope to see yall around town, maybe even the picnic this weekend

[VickySGV]

I fully agree on the sit back and breathe issue, but I also can understand your anxiety and know it is real. Unless some groundwork has been done, the parents may, and I mean "may" and not absolutely will, be in some initial shock, and maybe for anywhere from a few minutes to days+ be in a predictable cycle that people go through when Change rears its head. It sounds like your relationship is on solid footing and will be continuing, which is a huge plus. The fact that your partner's sister is so open and accepting adds on to that, since it appears that both she and your partner are open and accepting, and that came from somewhere in common, like maybe their parents?? As I said, there will be a predictable pattern of change management that will have it's ups and downs and initial reactions will be subject to short term change themselves, but with a basic assurance of both character and love for your partner, it stands a better chance of success than of tragedy.

[Guest ~Cadence~]

We have been laying groundwork. It's just another step towards making this a reality

[VickySGV]

We have been laying groundwork. It's just another step towards making this a reality

You have upped the chances of success and acceptance greatly then!! Good luck, I think you will have it.

[Guest ~Cadence~]

Thanks Vicky! I appriciate it. I just am going to be anxious until they talk tonight.

[Charlize]

Best of luck. It may take a bit of time but it sounds like you have done all you can. Relax and let things progress.

Let us know how it goes.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Guest ~Cadence~]

Mission aborted. With the stress of her eldest sisters kids weighing down on her parents, her and her "ally" sister agreed that it would be poor timing. It's going to be soon, but not right now.

[Charlize]

Perhaps it is for the best at this point. I'm sure your wife and her sister will do their best to make this a smooth journey. Take a deep breath and relax. Time will take care of the rest.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Guest]

I feel for you. Just don't let the Boogie Man enter your head. There will be a death of sorts that will require grieving. Only you can show them the wonderful rebirth of the person they love. You have not changed, just stepped out of the shadows and into the light. That light will blind them until they adjust to it. It will hurt while they keep their eyes closed. Just breathe and be you. That way you will be there shining whenever they finally open their eyes. Hug. JodyAnn

[Guest ~Cadence~]

She is teling them now. I wrote a letter to explain my side, she is going to explain hers. I am choosing to believe they will accept it.

[Guest ~Cadence~]

aaaaand its done.

The biggest concern her mother had was if, in the future, I would leave her for a man >.> and that we will be lesbians <.<. Other than that, she immediately began referring to me in feminine pronouns and advised that we get settled in Columbus with jobs and living arrangements as soon as possible so I can transition.

As for her dad, he just wants us to be happy.

So, that's that?

[Guest Tamar]

Cadence,all I can suggest is carry on loving and supporting your partner. If her parents can see that their daughter is still being taken care of,and that she is happy,it is likely they will find it easier to accept.

Best wishes hon.

[Carolyn Marie]

aaaaand its done.

The biggest concern her mother had was if, in the future, I would leave her for a man >.> and that we will be lesbians

My S/O, as well as her family, had the same concerns, but once they realized I was here to stay, they dropped that issue. I hope it is the same for you.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Raya]

Cadence, that's great, sounds like you are off to a good start in keeping those relationships going.

"So that's it ?"

I doubt it, just the start of something great.

In my case, I did get some push back from my older brothers, but nothing downright hateful, just ignorant.

[Charlize]

The now we are lesbian thing bugged my wife as well. I must admit to also being a bit concerned at times when i talk about my wife. It is something that folks do gossip about. I often wonder when someone visits the farm what they think of these two old women living together.

Overall however it sounds like your fears of not finding acceptance were unnecessary. Try to do what her pop wanted and just be happy.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Guest]

Tell them you are not hard core lesbians. Just two gals living together in comfort and support. The rest of the world need not know what goes on behind the bedroom door.

Many women throughout time have done that. Tell them it's a convenience marriage. Giggle. Hug. JodyAnn

[Guest ~Cadence~]

Ok, to clarify, they are not upset that their daughter is a lesbian. They actually kind of anticipated she would settle down with a nice girl. When she brought me home the first time, they were super suprised.

[Charlize]

Hugs,

Charlize

[Guest ~Cadence~]

so, just another update. Her mom now refers to me as Callie, and references me in feminine pronouns. I did not anticipate the level of acceptance i would receive from her parents...

Its a good thing!

[Charlize]

that's great!

Hugs,

Charlize

[Guest Raya]

Cadence, that is awesome, I'm very happy for you.