Key West.... Nervous about going...

[Guest]

Hello All! So I just got off the phone with my parents. They have been asking me to ride down with my sister to visit them this weekend in Kew West. As I was on the phone with them, they called me out on me sounding hesitant about going.

For the past month, I've reserved my weekends as the time I can live and be me, Milani. Usually after the second day of not getting dressed up or even being 'me', I tend to break down and become depressed. So I find that not only am I dressing up on the weekends, but I am usually dressing up a few evenings during the week after work as well.

I'm sure going to Key West will be absolutely fun. But the hesitation that my parents heard in my voice is that I will not be able to be myself for 4 days... For those who wouldn't understand, 4 days doesnt seem like a long time considering I've been my boyself for the past 30 years... But its when I had my self-discovery that I am transgendered, and the discovery of finally understanding who I am -- that those 4 days will seem like eternity.

While I am down there with my family... I plan on coming out to my parents. Last week I came out to my sister, so she knows already. :-) The thought and nervousness about coming out to my parents might have also contributed to my hesitation.

Has anyone expericed similar feelings at the beginning of transition?

~Milani

[VickySGV]

Just about every darn one of us has felt that way when we were first coming out. What does your sister think about the chances of the folks being ok with you? If they will be accepting, then by all means take an appropriate outfit with you, because there may be time to wear it. Under dressing is possible for you to do under the entire circumstances so just do it, and it will take the edge off a little bit to at least be liveable. For summer, a pair of tan shorts can be either male or female, and a plain T-shirt can be Just My Size female style or a Hanes male T shirt will work too. (I have some printed men's T shirts I still wear because of what is printed on them.) Sunscreen lip coat instead of Lipstick does OK too. Get the picture --- you can be andro-stealth easily in summer.

[Guest]

I know about the boy clothes anxiety all too well. The last few times I tried, I could look like the boy but could only act like the boy for about an hour. Then the girl came streaming out. I was at a celebration for my parents 70th wedding anniversary. I for all the world wanted to act the part. I was soon helping the girl friends in the kitchen and we were all girl talking. It all went ok, had I maintained the role I would have been in tears. We all know boys don't cry.

After that, what few times I boyed up I had to feminize the outfits to look like a tomboy. Soon I threw in the boy towel and never tried again. I donated all his old clothes. GID is really mysterious sometimes, that is when I knew I hit head on my gender wall.

You may only be at the cusp or not there yet. Do what you can to cope, I hope your parents are reasonable and understanding. Hug. JodyAnn

[Guest Faith gibson]

I really know what you are feeling. I am facing 6 weeks of it coming up very shortly. It keeps me up at night worrying about how I will handle things. I know even 4 days can seem so difficult. Monday mornings are something I dread. I do some of the things Vicki recommended. I have purchased sandals that are sort of not so boyish and shirts that are again, so so and at least let me feel like I have some power over the situation. And of course, in the summer, shorts that are not the standard cargo man type things. I have my nails done at a salon and I hope for the best. Sometimes I lose it and get pretty depressed but I guess you just do the best you can.

Take care

Faith

[Guest]

Thank you all for your recommendations and sharing your experiences. Its a big help and relief to know that you are not alone

~Miliani

[Guest honeynocturnal]

Hope it goes very well for you Milani! I just told my mom a couple of days ago, working up to the rest of the family... all good so far

Definitely take a girly outfit along. It's comforting even to have it close by.

[Guest]

Hello All! I'm back from Key West and I have lots to share!

So overall, this past weekend wasn't so bad as I thought it was going to be. My parents had a ton of excursions planned, so I guess that had helped with keeping me busy and my mind off things. I ended up coming out to my parents on the last day of the trip. I tried for earlier, but couldnt find the time or place that I could be alone with them. Ends up my mom had already questioned herself a couple years ago if I'd transition one day... Mother's intuition maybe? ...Crazy huh?!?!

As for my father's response, he said it will take him time to accept it, but no matter what, he loves me.

Shortly after coming out to my parents and explaining everything to them... My mom, out of curiosity, asked me if I had taken any selfies. I showed both my parents 'me' and they were both had positive responses on how pretty I was.

Its a big relief off my shoulders to finally let my parents know. Their support and love is a bigger relief too!

~Milani

[Guest Faith gibson]

I'm very happy for you Milani. It's wonderful that it all worked out so well for you. I'm sure it is a huge relief.

Faith

[Guest]

Thank you Faith! It is a huge relief!

[Charlize]

It sounds like it couldn't have gone better. Congratulations and hopes for even a closer relationship with your parents.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Guest]

Aww... That is so wonderful. Hug. JodyAnn

[Guest]

Thank you Charlize and JodyAnn! Today I have a therapy appointment in which I am so excited to share this news.

[Guest Kati]

This is an amazingly positive post! Thank you for sharing your good news. Having a loving, supportive family by your side will make a huge difference as you go forward.

[VickySGV]

:thumbsup:

[LaurenSimpson]

Congratulations, it's nice to be loved and respected. Cherish this.

[Guest]

Wow, I cant believe it has already been 8months and a few weeks since coming out to my parents! Time really flies! This past weekend I met up with them and had Easter dinner. Though I went in boymode, my parents told me that they can see slight changes happening from being on hormones. I let them know that with them I will be patient and take my time of introducing my real self to them and rather let them see the physical changes happen first to ease them into it. Though they are very accepting and supportive, I somehow dont want to bombard them with too much. :-)

I also let them know the time I plan to go fulltime - I was pretty excited to tell them that...because its something I have been thinking about daily.

So as I was heading to the car with my mom, she mentioned that she has had talks with my father on coming to realization that instead of having one daughter (my sister), that they would now have two. Hearing that made me so happy and supported in my transition.

[Guest KerryUK]

Wow, that is a big step in the right direction MilaniLiu. I'll bet you were on 'cloud nine'.

Kerry