A good day (mostly)

[Guest]

I went shopping with my best friend (and ex wife for the record). It was great, I found two things but I was too shy to try them out. But, all in all, it was great. It was a "madam" day too. I don't know why but some day everyone calls me madam and others everyone calls me "monsieur". It's always great when it's "madam" day. The great thing is having a saleswoman treat me like the woman I am. It has not happened often, yet, in my life and it's great. It's like... too good to be true. lol

So, the part where it goes wrong. Like some of you know, I have PTSD. At one point one of the saleswoman whisper : "I know, I know" talking to his friend. In my mind they had "clocked" me and everything was about to go very wrong. I went out of the shop almost running and crying. I waited for my friend outside the shop, pacing like crazy and scanning everyone that went by to make sure nobody was gattering to hurt me or to laugh at me. I was very nervous and about to cry. I know all of this is not based on reality but it's really hard to control myself once I go down that road. We ended this fun morning. When I was in the car I started crying like there was no tomorow. Then my friend said : "One of the woman was saying to the other that his dress was way too short and the other said I know, I know". And then I started to laugh like crazy, hormones helping.

So, yeah, it was all in my head. That's it. I had to share this. I'm better and better living with PTSD but sometimes I fail, like I did today. One thing i'm happy about is that I did go out with my friend and confronted this. I'm proud of myself in a way. Today was a learning day.

thank you for listening

[Guest Jamie61]

I am very proud of you Marie! These interaction can be such a frightening thing at times and no big deal at other times... very frustrating. It is so nice you had an ally with you who could relate to you what the salespeople where referring to ( I would have hoped that the saleswomen had used proper pronouns ). I always try to assume the best of other people, but when I feel weird and lack confidence, it's hard to not take things said to a negative place, it human nature. Every time you go out in the world, you are an ambassador, and by your very being there ( not by what you say, or if your voice cracks, or if you pass, or if you don't pass), you potentially have a positive affect on people open to you. Clocked or not, your outfit is going to be scrutinize by other women, this is the way of the world. I am very proud of you!

Jamie

[Guest]

btw it was not my dress who was too small but the saleswoman's dress

making my story more ridiculous