Hormones

[Guest Erica4U]

I have been waiting to take hormones to begin changing my male to characteristics to feminine of course. I have seen therapists and because I am in my 50's and married and masculine looking, No one seemed to take me seriously even after many, many expensive visits! I was told I would make an unattractive looking woman! I was hurt! I cried most of the drive home! I have known for over 30 years what my destiny is or at least should be! I spent countless hours researching hormones and their effects however, times have changed and I was curious if any of my sisters here went through hormone treatment on their own and is so, did you experience clotting, thrombosis etc? I can obtain Estraderm TTS and Progesterone as well as Androgen Blockers if I want! I am just looking for any advise or cautions others may have experienced before I do begin! Love You all and hope and pray for all of your safety and happiness! Erica

[MaryEllen]

Hello Erica4U,

Welcome to Laura's Playground. The taking of unsupervised hormones is a very dangerous thing to be doing. This is something that we will never condone under any circumstances. The only safe thing to do is to see a doctor for a hormone dosage that is tailored to meet your needs. Thrombosis, liver disease, stroke, heart attack are some of the things that can happen from taking unsupervised hormones. My advice is, don't do it.

What others think of you is not your problem. It's theirs. Be persistant with your doctors. You can't live your life by others opinions of what's good for you. It's your life, after all. Not theirs.

MaryEllen

[Sally]

Dear Erica4U,

Please come in and sit here with me for a few minutes.

I'll get you some hot cocoa and cookies so you get all comfy and I'll tell you something very important.

I am 57 and about to go for my blood work this month to start on my hormones - I have been waiting forever so I understand just how you feel - I am also 6'4" tall and over 330 pounds so I'm in no way going to become a fashion model.

I know the temptation to circumvent the system, but it is there for more reasons than just blocking you from your dreams.

You have to prove to them that you need to become outwardly a woman and that you already are a woman in mind and spirit.

Now no one here will discuss how to or how much to take of any illegal or unprescribed hormones - it is not allowed under forum rules because it is so dangerous.

You need a doctor to supervise you as you completely changing your body's chemistry - that is what must occur and it is not easy on your body so doing it alone is a very bad and dangerous idea.

You need to go to the home page for the playground and read Laura's biography - that will explain to you why the no discussing unprescribed hormones rule is here.

She tried what you are talking about and now runs this playground - a safe haven for information, support and friendships - from her bed or her wheelchair as a direct result from the side effects of self medication.

Heart attacks and strokes are very common and leave permanent scars internally, then add the possibility of destroying your liver and you are dead.

Laura was actually very lucky, she survived and her mind is very much intact - would you be that lucky - strokes can partially paralyze you and make your mind come and go just like Alzheimer's - I had a grandmother who had a massive stroke when I was very young and all of my memories of her were as an addled and almost simple person - I never knew the woman who worked the New York Times crossword puzzles in ink and read just about every book she could get her hands on - having only a 6th grade education refused to allow her sons to graduate from College with out learning at least as much as they did - the stroke took that woman away from us.

Are you willing to roll those dice?

I am not - I would go back to the therapist and tell them that you've seen a lot of ugly women in this world and if that's what you will have to be - that's OK with you because it is better than being a depressed and desperate man.

This isn't about looks - it is about inner peace.

Don't do anything this dangerous, please.

Try to talk to your therapist again and convince them that you really aren't that concerned about beauty as you are about resolution.

OK?

I'm through with my part of our little talk, just sit here for a bit, think about what I have said and others will be along to greet you.

In case you couldn't tell - I care about you - others do too.

Enjoy the forums and get information, talk to people just like you and we will support you, love you and try to help you get the treatments that you need, safely and legally.

Welcome to the forums.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Dearest Erica,

Please listen to Sally and MaryEllen!! They know what they are talking about!! Being a woman does not necessarily mean being outwardly physically beautiful (in a video sense)!! It means being yourself, and at peace finally with the turmoil within you. Please do not go down the path of self-medication my dear, No!! We all care about you, and we all want you happy AND healthy!! Don't let the rediculous argument that you won't be a "beautiful" woman from obviously non-supportive doctors dissuade you!! You know who you are and no one can ever change you!! Being beautiful has so many dimensions anyway!! You are now very unhappy!! Being happy with yourself is the key to being beautiful!!

We all care so much about you. Please take care of yourself!!

Love,

bernie

[Guest Elizabeth K]

Hello

WELCOME WELCOME WELCOME by the way - my greeting

LISTEN to MaryEllen, and all the other's. Sally is a friend and the only differences are I am older, I am slightly ahead of her on the HRT, I am an inch shorter, and I AM going to be a fashion model (which country I don't know, which one is in those Delbert cartoons?)

The point? Your therapists were the wrong type. Go find a gender specialist psychologist.

DON'T go illegal - wayyyyyyy too dangerous.

But most importantly - you LIKE FEET!

Here I am today:

[Guest leo]

going illegal isnt good

but i understand what you are saying

and your theapist are wrong to say what they said because they are assuming every female is pretty?

im not saying that your not but something to think about

personally i think they just wanted your money without offering real help

its your choice right? so make the one best for you

[Paula ult]

Hi Erica, gee i just saw this post, I'm MtF 57 from the Cleveland area and started my transition last June, I have been seeing a therapist for some time and an Endo who monitors my hrt, you didn't say if your therapist is a gender therapist, but i would not go to one that told me i would make an unattractive looking woman. A year on hormones can do wonders, couple that with longer hair, facial hair removal, working on your voice and loosing weight if you need to can work miracles. I belong to TransFamily of Cleveland and we have monthly meetings where everyone under the TG umbrella can gather in a safe place, you can google the name and we have a website that you can get information about therapists Dr.'s etc. After 5 posts here you can PM people, i would be more than willing to help you find resources in the area.

Paula.

[Guest angie]

I, No one seemed to take me seriously even after many, many expensive visits! I was told I would make an unattractive looking woman! I was hurt! I cried most of the drive home! I have known for over 30 years what my destiny is or at least should be!

Erica,

Before the actual transition...

I was told I was a very handsome very manly man.But would make an ugly woman.

I was hurt by those comments.Didn't stop me from starting HRT though.The absolute

need to be my true self was waaaay more powerful than any fear of being an ugly woman.

Bye the way...She was dead wrong.I may not be beautiful,but I am pretty and very womanly.

HRT is magic.It will change you in more ways than anyone or any article can prepare you for.

The only thing to fear,is fear itself(Franklin Roosevelt)

Angie

[Guest doodle]

Hey Erica what kind of stupid doctors are you seeing. It wouldn't do you very much good even if you have no medical problems. You need to go through the medical system to complete your transition. You will need letters from a gender therapist for your name change and surgery. You will also need letters from doctors for the same reasons. with out them backing you up you really can't do anything. hook up with a local GLTB . they will be able to help you with a medical doctor in you area. I found my gender therapist off this site and she is great. Don't listen to those jerks.

love doodle

[Guest April63]

Copy and paste the above... lol

Welcome, but go see a doctor. Blood clots, etc. occur because the dosage is too high, and unless you have blood tests done, you will never really know how much you can take. Thats why you go to a doctor.

April

[Guest Soph]

I know that there is a certain clause in the SOC that states that if you visit an endo without meeting the criteria for starting hormones, but make it apparent that you are at risk of starting them unsupervised, they can start you on them. This is there to prevent exactly this. They know that if you need to hormones badly enough you can get them, and, if they're good doctors that care about you, they don't want you to die, as that is a risk of taking hormones unsupervised.

Maybe seeing an endo and telling him you're at risk of that will prompt him to take action.

Hope I helped.

[Guest mia 1]

Yes I have heard the same thing, but still the best route is to find a gender therapist like Elizabeth said and then let them evaluate the slow and correct way....jumping int irrevocable decisions may lead to a life of regret...there was a time in my life when I wanted to take hormones and was going to get the low dosage variety so I could peek into the world of woamnhood..that would have been a terrible mistake for me...because I am happy as a cross dresser and I do not want to go any further than that..so my point is please be careful and what may seem like a carefully thought out decision..may be nothing more than wanting to be part of the "MOMENT".......