Odd Even For A Tranny Boy

[Guest MrAwesome]

Well, I was thinking about when I was a little kid. A lot of FTMs from what I read as children didn't like dresses or pink or any of the female things. This is were I was different. Me and my uncle are only 5 years apart and we were raised almost as brothers would be. On one hand, I loved playing games with my uncle, he taught me about stuff I didn't really know about. We'd play games about fighting and stuff, and he 1st introduced me to weapons, which I have almost a fedish with. I played with his toys all the time, I loved legos and my mom bought me a fire truck cause my dad's a fire fighter and I got a tonka truck when I was 2 cause I kept playing with my uncles. and on the other hand, I had my dad to play with, and he played dolls, and Dr. and I had a little toy kitchen thing XD. And baby dolls. and I didn't MIND playing with them, I had fun. And I wore dresses and skirts, normally when I did it was by choice. But I did it, and I remember this actually pretty well, I did it cause I wanted my parents approval, cause I wanted them to be happy. I Was fairly indifferent about it all, but I always preferred the boy stuff more. Thinking about it, the only reason I ever DID play with female things was simply for acceptance and cause I wanted friends. But in the end it's not worth it, and I decided to be a boy and be who I was born to be. Just a rant....

Don't let your man-boobs fall out of your binders while your wearing a sleeveless shirt in public!

Lewis XD

[Guest Little Sara]

Skirts and dresses are feminine only by social convention. This doesn't mean much otherwise.

See how I see it. A girl might like to feel pretty and feels that this garment expresses that in particular (garment there meaning the one they like). Why a boy would be denied this, then put in drab clothes like pants, pants and more pants of sooo many various colors (all of what? 4 colors?) and be supposed to accept it, well that's BS. Boys also need to express their creativity and their sense of fashion, they just don't get to usually. Be glad to have had the chance.

It felt horrible for me to be robbed of this choice.

[Guest OneOutOfnOne]

I understand what you mean, Lewis. I never hated or actively resisted growing up as a male. I remember going to restaurants as a child where they gave away toys with the meals, one for girls, one for boys. And I remember being offered this choice and giving it some real thought, and my parents going ahead and making what they felt was an obvious decision. I never argued, or spoke up, because I felt things like this, and like my choices of clothing, were never a large enough issue to make anything of. I've never liked being difficult. Only now that these choices are mine alone, I may exercise whichever preference I so choose.

Sara - I never used to like going shopping for clothes. At some point I realized that this was because men's clothes are boring, ergo I was in the wrong section.

[Guest MrAwesome]

I understand what you mean, Lewis. I never hated or actively resisted growing up as a male. I remember going to restaurants as a child where they gave away toys with the meals, one for girls, one for boys. And I remember being offered this choice and giving it some real thought, and my parents going ahead and making what they felt was an obvious decision. I never argued, or spoke up, because I felt things like this, and like my choices of clothing, were never a large enough issue to make anything of. I've never liked being difficult. Only now that these choices are mine alone, I may exercise whichever preference I so choose.

Sara - I never used to like going shopping for clothes. At some point I realized that this was because men's clothes are boring, ergo I was in the wrong section.

thanks that mademe feel better 2 read that

[Guest Martin]

Not all FTMs - or all cissexual boys - do stereotypically masculine things as children. Quite a few boys like dolls, play house (even pretending to be the mother), play dress up, etc. Most - but not all - cissexual guys stop doing this as they get older because society puts a lot of pressure on them to confirm. Pre-transition FTMs don't face nearly as much pressure to be "masculine" and may face a lot of pressure to be "feminine." Because of this, quite a few FTMs persist in doing "femme" things well into their teens or even adulthood. They are still men. Some even do this stuff post transition, simply because the enjoy doing so. Again, they are still men.

Personally, I was somewhere in the middle. I did ask for - and received - a doll for my fourth birthday. I was quite happy playing with her. Later on, I bought another doll. I eventually thought they were too girly and stopped playing with them; besides, I was sick of the comments I got from my brothers. I loved stuffed animals - still do, actually. Then again, so do all of my brothers. Until first grade, I loved wearing dresses. After that, I hated them and refused to wear them for years. When I had to wear one in eleventh grade for a band concert, I was miserable. I felt ridiculous and ashamed, like I was cross-dressing (in a bad way). I wanted to play flute since I was a small child and still do play it. I've had long hair off and on. These things are generally considered feminine in the West. However, I didn't perceive them that way and so was fine with them. Once I thought of them as too feminine, I stopped doing them. I also did lots of things that are considered masculine - I had fist-fights with one of my brothers, wore men's pants, wore unisex T-shits, loved dinosaurs, played with Legos, collected knives, had men as role-models, and so on. However, doing these things didn't make me a guy. After all, many girls do these things too. Identifying as a guy made me one. Along the same lines, I'm not a "Transgender" because I don't identify with that word because I consider it offensive. I am transsexual because I do identify with the word and with its definition.

[Guest MrAwesome]

Identifying as a guy made me one. Along the same lines, I'm not a "Transgender" because I don't identify with that word because I consider it offensive. I am transsexual because I do identify with the word and with its definition.

I personally don't see a different between Transexual and Transgender, I like how Transgender boy sounds. and it makes me think of "Oh Transgender boy..." (as apposed to oh Danny boy the irish song) however I'm not really sure what the word "Transgender"'s definition is. Maybe it's like with blacks and the N word o.o it's okay if another trans person uses it but not if anyone else uses it... urban dictionary it is!!

[Guest Liam]

I personally don't see a different between Transexual and Transgender, I like how Transgender boy sounds. and it makes me think of "Oh Transgender boy..." (as apposed to oh Danny boy the irish song) however I'm not really sure what the word "Transgender"'s definition is. Maybe it's like with blacks and the N word o.o it's okay if another trans person uses it but not if anyone else uses it... urban dictionary it is!!

The word "Transgender" has been used by non-trans people as a denigrating term, particularly towards trans women. It doesn't have a good history. It's commonly associated with porn (try googling it and see what comes up, and compare this with what you find when you google transgender or transsexual - mostly educational stuff). As such, many people are either offended by it or find it to be a disempowering term. While I don't find it personally offensive, I don't use it because so many people in our community do find it offensive and/or have been hurt by it. Hopefully there will come a day when reclaiming it seems logical and empowering, but I'm not sure that we're there yet.

[Guest bronx]

First of all as a black man it is not okay for anyone to use the N word, EVER! Including other people of color.

Secound everybody is different, and not all of us have exactly the the same experiences growing up. I know that i was just always a boy. I went to catholic school and had to wear a dress, I went to an all girls highschool as well and tried to fit in. I didn't play with dolls though I was more into my Atari and puzzles.

[Sally]

Identifying as a guy made me one. Along the same lines, I'm not a "Transgender" because I don't identify with that word because I consider it offensive. I am transsexual because I do identify with the word and with its definition.

You need to consider the history of a word before you use it this word my have started out as a nick name even used within the community itself - but it was taken over and used as a derogatory term and should therefore be avoided to spare the feelings of others.

First of all as a black man it is not okay for anyone to use the N word, EVER! Including other people of color.

The N word was used for a long time but when it became totally synonymous with badgering by hate groups, it became unacceptable to the point that some great literature from those earlier periods found themselves banned from school libraries.

Words meanings and usages change and when they become unacceptable to the people that they describe they should no longer be used.

Example: Do you remember when gay just meant happy?

I have worked with a lot of gay people, I'm a musician and I managed a camera store where I was the only straight person there (if they only knew) and I never referred to any one there by any derogatory terms, I seldom made any references to them being gay - they were my employees and my friends and that's all that mattered.

The whole key to getting along is empathy - try to think about how you would feel if someone called you that.

This was a bit 'off topic' but I believe that it needed to be said so that everyone will realize the power of words and the ever shifting nature of the English Language.

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest MrAwesome]

You need to consider the history of a word before you use it this word my have started out as a nick name even used within the community itself - but it was taken over and used as a derogatory term and should therefore be avoided to spare the feelings of others.

The N word was used for a long time but when it became totally synonymous with badgering by hate groups, it became unacceptable to the point that some great literature from those earlier periods found themselves banned from school libraries.

Words meanings and usages change and when they become unacceptable to the people that they describe they should no longer be used.

Example: Do you remember when gay just meant happy?

I have worked with a lot of gay people, I'm a musician and I managed a camera store where I was the only straight person there (if they only knew) and I never referred to any one there by any derogatory terms, I seldom made any references to them being gay - they were my employees and my friends and that's all that mattered.

The whole key to getting along is empathy - try to think about how you would feel if someone called you that.

This was a bit 'off topic' but I believe that it needed to be said so that everyone will realize the power of words and the ever shifting nature of the English Language.

Love ya,

Sally

I think words are okay as long as when you say them you don't use them in a bad way. Too many people place too much significance on words. I can even let people call me "She" and "Rach" sometimes, without getting upset, because even though it does feel bad to be called it, it's because that's just how they knew me, and they were just doing what came natural to them. Some just don't know any better or forget. So just because it CAN be taken as an insult, or as offensive, doesn't mean it HAS to be.

[Guest Crossroads]

You need to consider the history of a word before you use it this word my have started out as a nick name even used within the community itself - but it was taken over and used as a derogatory term and should therefore be avoided to spare the feelings of others.

The N word was used for a long time but when it became totally synonymous with badgering by hate groups, it became unacceptable to the point that some great literature from those earlier periods found themselves banned from school libraries.

Words meanings and usages change and when they become unacceptable to the people that they describe they should no longer be used.

Example: Do you remember when gay just meant happy?

I have worked with a lot of gay people, I'm a musician and I managed a camera store where I was the only straight person there (if they only knew) and I never referred to any one there by any derogatory terms, I seldom made any references to them being gay - they were my employees and my friends and that's all that mattered.

The whole key to getting along is empathy - try to think about how you would feel if someone called you that.

This was a bit 'off topic' but I believe that it needed to be said so that everyone will realize the power of words and the ever shifting nature of the English Language.

Love ya,

Sally

Quoted to enforce this. This is very important.

And again as a re-enforcer: The N word, even if used with an "a" at the end instead of an "er", is highly viewed upon as an uneducated term used by ignorant people. Another great example of this is the "F" word for homosexuals. I know some homosexuals that use this term, and it makes me question them as a person. Please consider that when you use a word, you are giving someone an idea about yourself. If you use an ignorant term, people will think less of you, your issues, and your opinions.

Just some more food for thought.

[Sally]

I think words are okay as long as when you say them you don't use them in a bad way. Too many people place too much significance on words. I can even let people call me "She" and "Rach" sometimes, without getting upset, because even though it does feel bad to be called it, it's because that's just how they knew me, and they were just doing what came natural to them. Some just don't know any better or forget. So just because it CAN be taken as an insult, or as offensive, doesn't mean it HAS to be.

I have no problem with someone that I have known for thirty plus years as male calling me he or him and even using my old name - that is very different - I don't see how anyone could use the n word without meaning something derogatory, that has been taboo for a very long time, long before you were even born!

Just consider the more sensitve here in the forums, we have a lot of fragile people here who have had hard lives with a lot of abuse and they come here to escape it.

OK, this is your chance to be really Awesome!

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest MrAwesome]

I have no problem with someone that I have known for thirty plus years as male calling me he or him and even using my old name - that is very different - I don't see how anyone could use the n word without meaning something derogatory, that has been taboo for a very long time, long before you were even born!

Just consider the more sensitve here in the forums, we have a lot of fragile people here who have had hard lives with a lot of abuse and they come here to escape it.

OK, this is your chance to be really Awesome!

Love ya,

Sally

Okay I think people miss understood when I said about the N word. Some black people do find it okay to refer to another black person as the N word, that is as long as they mean it in a friendly way. I was making fun of the concept (in my mind anyway) that other people who are in that group can call other people in that group a word, but if anyone else says it, it's offensive. I think it's kinda stupid, and I also think it's stupid to get offended over a word, I don't condone the N word, and I don't condone calling someone a cigarette. I do think, that it could be an insider joke almost, and I do believe if you show that you don't care about a word that that makes you impervious to it. I don't see anything wrong with the word Transgender because we're "Trans" and all it's doing is adding a different ending to it, and though people who use words like the N one and the F one can be unsofisticated and really just nor worth your time... well right there they aren't worth your time to worry about. Just my opinion, I don't feel like arguing, it's just a waste of energy and time and I know it's not gonna change anything.

[Guest Pól_Eire]

Okay I think people miss understood when I said about the N word. Some black people do find it okay to refer to another black person as the N word, that is as long as they mean it in a friendly way. I was making fun of the concept (in my mind anyway) that other people who are in that group can call other people in that group a word, but if anyone else says it, it's offensive. I think it's kinda stupid, and I also think it's stupid to get offended over a word, I don't condone the N word, and I don't condone calling someone a cigarette. I do think, that it could be an insider joke almost, and I do believe if you show that you don't care about a word that that makes you impervious to it. I don't see anything wrong with the word Transgender because we're "Trans" and all it's doing is adding a different ending to it, and though people who use words like the N one and the F one can be unsofisticated and really just nor worth your time... well right there they aren't worth your time to worry about. Just my opinion, I don't feel like arguing, it's just a waste of energy and time and I know it's not gonna change anything.

Something to think about: is it worth the trouble of potentially making people here upset and/or offended just to "show that you don't care about a word"? Sometimes, even if you don't personally care, you have to care because it's a really big deal to someone else.

Just my own $.02.

-Pól

[Guest leo]

ray you make me laugh so much!

plus in certain places like scotland men were skirts!

[Guest bronx]

One of the reasons I feel so strong about the N word is because of the history behind it and how it has been used to keep a group of people to feel inferior to the mass. I also don't agree with the F word or the word Transgender. I think that it is important for us to do our homework so to speak on what the exact history and meanings What certain words have.

As an African-American Male I thought at one time that it was okay to say the N word, Until I got a book Called the N word from the bookstore and it really broke the word and it's meaning down to me, What it was ment for my ancestors and how it has been used to seperate us from others. After that I refuse to give that word or anyother word used to seperate or disempower any group or person any of my energy.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

'Transgender/Transgender" very negative! It seems associated with the street-scene. Same with she-male.

I am a MTF transsexual. I can't help that. Please just consider me a human being that is trying to find her way through life. Call me what you will, but don't expect me to answer! Same with worlds used for women - CU*T, BIT*H, WHO*E.

Disgusting and crude.

What are people using negative names for anyway! We have enough negative feedback using regular words!

Just me on what I consider a sensitive subject - sorry

Lizzy

[Guest Crossroads]

Lizzy, I think this is a sensitive topic for a lot of us.

As an African-American Male I thought at one time that it was okay to say the N word, Until I got a book Called the N word from the bookstore and it really broke the word and it's meaning down to me, What it was ment for my ancestors and how it has been used to seperate us from others. After that I refuse to give that word or anyother word used to seperate or disempower any group or person any of my energy.

This is so great to me! You know how many people on a day to day basis say things that really just make them sound rude, and never even know what they are saying? I'm so glad that you took the time to educate yourself, and not only that, correct yourself. I have friends who KNOW it's disrespectful, KNOW the roots of some of these words, and still use them! It's frustrating.

Ray, I'm of the opinion as well that a word is just a word. But it's the same concept as why we can't use cuss words on this site. They really don't MEAN much of anything, they are JUST words. You are right about that. But the HISTORY of those words has come to be negative and therefore should not be used, especially in a playground full of people who are MOST likely to be offended by them. I think we know you don't mean any harm, we just want you to think about things.

Again, education is key here. If everyone in the world was educated on our issues, then we wouldn't have to fight for the right to change our gender markers on all our documentation, we wouldn't have to go through heck just to get a CORRECTIVE surgery, we wouldn't have to worry about who it's okay to tell when, or if we'll still have a job after we come out, or if we'll have to change schools once everyone finds out. You know? We should all be educating ourselves on as much as we can so that we can all live together in peace.

You say you don't know the meaning of the word "Transgender". Well, you've been helpful a lot with your links. I know you can find the answers, and if you can't, ask one of the veterans here. I'm sure they'd be glad to right a book for you, lol.

Leo, want to know something crazy? You can tell by the cut of the kilt, the precise pattern of the kilt, and the lay of the accessories on the kilt exactly what family a person belongs to! I just think that's one of the coolest things ever!!! And that doesn't even count the other cool things from around the world where detail is key. Even the way you fold a pocket square can represent your heritage.