So much has changed for me so quickly

[CiCi_73]

Hi everyone,

So I just posted a very long synopsis of my weekend and my first experiences being out in the world as me. Before that, though, I changed my status here on LP from CD to TG. And after the weekend I had (if you want, see my post in the CD forum) I believe that decision was prescient. I am coming to understand, the more I stay as me (Courtney), that this is how I've always meant to be. I haven't been in boy mode since the weekend and I haven't been happier. And as I've been journalling my feelings it has become clear to me that I am more than CD. Initially I didn't think so, and in an earlier post I may have said as much, but now the longer I live like this the more I want to. I've been out to restaurants as me, I went to the mall today, I'm doing everything en femme and I am now thinking about how I'm going to work it in the rest of my life. The big hurdles will be coming out to my family and my job. I'm hoping my therapist will have some good advice on how to approach these tasks. But I'm no longer afraid. I want to live this way, and the thought of going back to the other guy is just so depressing.

I guess all this is to say that my journey has just begun. I'm proud to say I'm a T-girl. For the first time in so many, many years I feel so happy and complete. When I'm out as me it just feels so right. When I see Courtney staring back at me in the mirror I finally understand the concept of self acceptance, and dare I say it, self love? To see the person I think I've always been inside? Amazing. To be this person all the time?

A girl can dream.

Love to all,

Courtney

[Carolyn Marie]

That's pretty much the way it went for me, too, Courtney. It took a few months withe a therapist for me to be sure. I'm happy that you're happy, but the road ahead can be long and fraught with detours and barriers, so hang on girl, its going to be an interesting journey.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[gennee]

When you're able to live the life you were meant to, it makes all the difference. Self acceptance is SO important. Congratulations! Thank you for sharing.

[Guest April Kristie]

Courtney, the feeling of personal freedom is so wonderful and when you become "you" t is a reason to celebrate.

[Charlize]

In reading the post you wrote earlier i had a feeling you were finding a bit more than a thrill. Glad your working with a therapist. It isn't an easy journey but i have found some peace at last in my quest. Enjoy the ride. Your not alone.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Guest Charlotte J.]

Thanks for this post, Courtney. It's a good reminder for me today. Been stuck in boy mode for too long. Feeling it.

[CiCi_73]

Hi Charlotte,

Your welcome, and I hope you get the girl time you need. It's so necessary, isn't it. I've been on vacation this week so I've been able to completely immerse myself in being my TG self, and I can't even think about what going back to work is going to be like after this glorious week. I wish you the best!

Hugs,

Courtney

[Guest honeynocturnal]

That's so beautiful, Courtney! As somebody said on these forums once, gender euphoria instead of dysphoria...

I totally feel the same way, only my second time out in public today but it just feels so right! Only 20 more days of pretending to be male for me.