Dilating fear?

[Guest]

So for some strange reason, I have not come across the topic of post-op dilating in the 6+ years I've been looking up transgender stuff. I just now found out that MtF's need to dilate for the rest of their lives (albeit less frequently the longer you go), and that it HURTS for a while.

How badly does it hurt...?

I'm definitely going to go through HRT. Nothing will stop me from doing that. Right now, I'm actually looking for either therapists or endocrinologists who don't require recommendation letters. But I guess the thought of self-inflicted severe pain in my future vagina scares me a bit. How badly does it hurt, and for how long? Does the surgery justify the pain?

PS- Bit of a side note that I thought of while writing this: How easy is it to find an endocrinologist who can give me HRT without excessive therapy? I don't mind two or three sessions, but I don't want to have to wait a year before even starting HRT. I'd like to start before my body is done growing in a male way, the sooner the better (I'm 19 now).

[Guest]

Can't say, it approaches quickly for me.

I'm prepared for it to hurt like driving a railroad spike in me, but I know that won't last long. I equate that it can't hurt as bad as some of the accidental clacks in my boys over a lifetime.

That will taper off to tolerable. Then I hope when I heal, the pleasure will ramp up. I hope it becomes mildly addicting.

"Where is Jody? I don't know? Maybe she is off dilating again? Geez, that is the thirtyseventh time today!!!" Giggle. It will just be nice to pee correctly. Hug. JodyAnn

(Does Ben Wah Chinese pleasure globes count as dilation? Giggle. Nobody ever talks about that here??? I'll report back)

[Guest meagan]

My day in Montreal is coming in January. I am fine with every aspect and detail, but dilating is the one thing that makes me cringe. Normally when something about me is ouchy I try to ignore it and leave it alone. Just keep it healing but don't make it hurt. Unfortunately I will have to make it hurt and at this time, my mind is imagining the pain to be horrific. The reality often is not as bad as my brain thinks it will be though. So many before me have made it and I will no doubt do the same.

Hailey

[VickySGV]

As one of the Playground's old posties, who does dilate pretty darn frequently, I can give you a little better idea of what to expect, and it may be worse than you are afraid of, or no where near as bad.

By two and half years, it is like brushing your teeth, just another daily health item to take care of. You put the thing in after lubing it and hold it for the required time, take it out, and I generally go for my daily shower. You can make it a fun time if you use your imagination, and from time to time, it may get painful or uncomfortable if you have not done it often enough per doctors instructions, or you have developed some type of minor infection or dryness. You do need to have a gynecologist on stand-by to help there. Just have one ready like I do.

Right after surgery it can be pretty spooky and will be anywhere on the pain scale from 2 to 8 or 9 depending on your personal healing. It will be high end pain / discomfort if you have any healing problems such as granulation or if you develop a yeast infection that I did. Until the infection was brought under control, I cried and was scared badly when I had to dilate. Did I say to have a Gynecologist you can go to?? This is when you need one.

You will work your way up in diameter on your dilators as your swelling goes down. The biggest size dilators are scary to look at when you still have your packing inside you, that is for sure. As the swelling subsides, they become a positive adventure for the first few months. In that time, you will have touch and pressure sensations, and will know if you tug or pinch skin there, and you will have to learn how to avoid doing that. After you are at the largest dilator for a day or two, you can learn to move it in ways that are fun and a bit "sexy", but YMMV is the rule of the day. Your dilators can become "toys" if you think about them as the healing grinds on tor the first 18 months, but it will not happen the first time you do it. In time though, it does get old and ho-hum.

I was given adequate pain and discomfort medication from the beginning, and time has passed from unpleasant toward pleasant or neutral. Have I said it becomes just "ho-hum?". I followed healing instructions pretty damn close, and each day life got better and less painful on an almost inverse logarithmic scale. I am happy and do not have sharp memories that would cause PTSD or realted problems, and as said, it becomes Ho-hum!!

[Drea]

Well if you don't want SRS you don't have to have it.

[Guest Aka_Kitsune]

So, yes, my fears are confirmed I guess it's just a necessary evil, huh? Hopefully I'll be able to work through my fear before going through SRS.

Well if you don't want SRS you don't have to have it.

I really really do, though. My "default" parts are so uncomfortable. I don't know how cis guys can stand having their junk move freely, it's uncomfortable as hell.

[VickySGV]

Out of 931 days so far and 1,111 dilation's only about 105 of them have had any real discomfort , and those were in the first few weeks when I was swollen up like a hot air balloon. At that,it may have been fewer by 10 or 12, so you are not going to be suffering Suzy for long.

[Guest]

Maybe you can mentally trick yourself a bit. Research and imagine the labor pains a woman goes through to have a baby. That is no walk in the park! It may take your mind off of it slightly.

If I focus on a fear it can get to be a great big boogie man! When my daughter was born, she demanded fifteen hours of labor. That is a long haul, even I began to hurt! We both wanted her so badly, what a joy outcome! I've never tried to calculate the number of actual pains, but the severity redlined the meter!

For me, yes it is going to way hurt. It is sort of another right of passage to womanhood. I think back to that joyous day, my pains will be a piece of cake.

Please remind me I said this when I'm screaming and complaining! Giggle. Hug. JodyAnn

[Drea]

Well if you don't want SRS you don't have to have it.

I really really do, though. My "default" parts are so uncomfortable. I don't know how cis guys can stand having their junk move freely, it's uncomfortable as hell.

I think you are kinda putting the cart before the horse. Since you have yet to start therapy and am looking to start hormones (with minimal therapy if any), SRS decisions aren't on the immediate horizon.

On the subject of pain, if dilating is painful, intercourse is going to be as well.

Surgery generally involves some amount of pain.

I never thought dilating was painful.

[Guest]

Thanks for the help Drea.

Intercourse is painful? Are there things that make it better? Size matters, number of times? Do people just stop doing it?

I'm not sure I want to go there. It would take a really exceptional guy, by no means a one night stand. Forgive me if the questions are too personal? Hug. JodyAnn

[Guest Melissa~]

It hurts like hell when there are healing complications like I had. That lasted for seven months. It's fine anymore...but I dunno why anyone would call it good, I have other toys than dilators for that.