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Aloha from Mom of MtF age 9


AnnazMom

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She told me on February 13 this year (age 8) and our world turned upside down for about 4 months. I am a single mom and my kid is very proud to be transgendered. I think she is just so happy to have a term for who she is. We had a really rough first few days to where I had to take her out of public school and now homeschool her. Best decision because she loves to learn and I didn't want to lose that by forcing her to socially transition there. Next difficult time was a week later when she went to grandma's and had a breakdown because she couldn't figure out how to tell them. Her dad called me very upset and I told him. They have been very supportive and love her unconditionally. After about 2 1/2 months of trying to socially transition, she had another breakdown because she was still trying to be a boy with her friends. We decided to fully transition her at that point and she has been very "normal" since then. What helped me a ton was going on vacation to my mom's for 3 weeks where she could be herself without running into people we know! That was when I could get used to her new name and pronouns and she could dress how she wanted. Our community has been great, with a few exceptions. We did lose one of her best friends because the mom could not face it with her son. The kid was very quick to bully and ostracize her in public. All the other kids that know have asked her very pointed questions and then got on with playing together as usual. I am here for myself and my beautiful daughter and am going to take advantage of this wonderful resource.

Thank you for being here, Much Love, AnnazMom

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  • Admin

It sounds like you are on the way with her. Full "disclosure" is often less a chore than first imagined and with better results. If you happen to be on Face Book, look for the Assigned Male web comic which is aboiut a 10 year old Trans* Girl, it will hopefully resonate with the two of you.

Another suggestion I will offer is to look for PFLAG (Parents & Friends of Lesbians And Gays) which in spite of the name is wonderfully happy to have parents of Trans* children, and which has social activities for all of you IRL. This is the site for the Kaui Chapter, since your state flag here says Hawaii. They would know if your island has a chapter. http://www.pflagkauai.org/#!

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Guest LesleyAnne

You might want to watch a show called "I Am Jazz" a real life show about a wonderful young lady with a very supportive family.

Welcome here with open arms :)

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  • Forum Moderator

Welcome to Laura's. I'm sure this isn't an easy journey for you and your child. It is great that you are doing it together with what sounds like wonderful caring and love.

Hugs,

Charlize

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  • Admin

Welcome to the Playground, hon. It sounds like you are doing a great job with your daughter, and you ought to be very proud. There are a whole lot of resources out there now for parents and kids, so please do take advantage of them. That includes PFLAG that Vicky mentioned earlier. You may also want to check out resources for schools, in the event you ever want to re-enroll her either in her original school or someplace else.

Please make yourself at home, because you, and your daughter, are among friends here.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

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Thank you all!

We love Jazz and I have a transgirl cousin too who is helping me along. She is 21 now and has had a rough time with this. I contacted her at the right time and assured her that she has family with us. I also have a very close friend (MtF) who is probably about 75 now who transitioned while we worked together some 25 years ago. Unfortunately PFLAG is not IRL on my island, but we are slowly finding the Ts in our small island community. We have an awesome therapist and he suggested I find support for myself to ask questions he can't really answer. My child has no lack of confidence which scares me a lot out there in public!! We didn't find our local theater group to be safe for her, but tomorrow we sign her up for Girl Scouts with known friends. So far I have managed to create a bit of a bubble for her to explore and thrive. She is about to get a blue belt in karate which I am very grateful for, especially now! Her old school did say they would support her if she wants to go back. This is an option but she is quite gifted so I can really help her in that way. I am an online graduate student (speech therapy) so we study together. I have tons of questions and look forward to live chat with parents.

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Guest LesleyAnne

AnnazMom,

From all that you've just written, I have no doubts you are one fantastic Mom! It's people like you that will make a difference for children that are Transgender, and for those that are not Trans, someone that will spread understanding.

So......thank you for being a wonderful supportive Mom!

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