Going Out

[Guest Rob06]

Hi, I just decided to paste a note, since I have been out of this community for several weeks (perhaps even longer), after all, you are the only friends I have whose I have been completely honest, and have had the courage to share my secret with.

I know you all have gone thru it, but when it comes to go out on the street where no one knows you, how do you avoid feeling looked at from other people?. I am just not sure as how I look dressing up; sometimes looking at the mirror I think I look as a knockout, some others I just think I look like a guy in a dress. (At some times I wish I was more feminine, at others I’d wish I could transform myself completely without thinking of the consequences)

After reading a few posts I know I am not the only one going thru the same depression, but when we are alone we feel as if we were unique (which is not as nice as it sounds).

Finally, my post is to look for advice. What do you think about living the house and try to enjoy high heels for a while? have any advice?.

Hugs and Regards to everyone

Robin

[Guest Amanda_Henderson]

I do not know if I am the right person to answer this.

I always have the feeling of being looked at, More times then not when I look in the mirror I fell Like a guy in a dress, but when I go out I put it in to my mind that Guy that stare at me are checking me out like they do with GG's, and girls that they wish they want to look as good as me.

I don't know if that is the right way to do it. but to me it helps. A little. Although I know that I am a little heavy, and have other bad featurs about myself.

Never did like high heels pefered the flat bottom, or flat top, what ever they are.

[Guest Sofiadragon]

It is a good idea to practice around the house alot 'cause that way when you do eventually go outside dressed as a woman you won't look like a "guy in a dress", & also personally I wouldn't go all super feminine @ first when you are going out 'cause it is a dead give away, what you should do when you first go out is just wear a pair of breast forms w/ a normal T-shirt & jeans & no one will think anything of it 'cause what is there to say but hey there is a peron wearing a T-shirt & jeans. That is how I dress when I go to my support group meetings & today someone saw me on my way home & said hello there miss I was so taken back that I was smilling the whole way home, but I hope that, that helps you out.

[Guest angie]

Finally, my post is to look for advice. What do you think about living the house and try to enjoy high heels for a while? have any advice?.

Robin

The advice about practicing walking in your own home in heels,is dead on.

The last thing you want,is to be wobbling around,unsure of your foot placement.

And forget those sky scraper heels.Go with a pump,with at the highest a 2" heel.

When in public,don't look around to see if anyone is watching,that is a sure knockoff.

You walk like you belong,head up,boobs out,like this is the most natural thing in the world.

It works everytime.And (if)someone makes you,Big Deal,it happens.Remember,you are

getting to be the woman you always knew you were,and you only grow by experiencing

real life in the real world.Practice practice practice,and you will blow right on by.

Hugs,

Angie

[Guest Little Sara]

Social anxiety of the kind you seem to be having seems to be common for any trans early in transition. It certainly was for me. Now its reserved to only outlandish looking outfits like my lolita dresses.

How to go about it? I went with my mom to places, and if I was looked at or whatever, could just concentrate on her and talking. She also gave me feedback as to what they could mean by looking at me. Eventually came clear as day if someone was giving me the once over (like they do with other girls), or just "looking at me weirdly" like I had 2 heads.

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Dear Robo,

When you look at youself in the mirror, it is realy easy to see the "guy" in the mirror staring back at you. It is hard to be objective about your own image. You definitely want to practice wearing heels, it is not as easy as you might think (maybe you have discovered that). You will want to wear heels at first in the house so that you can get that graceful natural gate that women have having years and years of experience wearing them. Also get used to moving in womens clothes. You want to move naturally, and gracefully in them. That takes getting used to them so that they really feel like your real clothes. You will know when they are all you. You will find you can slip in/out of heels, a skirt, etc as easily as any other article of clothing you own.

Just keep working on it my dear.

LOL

bernii

[Guest sara w.]

first of all, beautiful name

second, just be yourself, the only real way they would find out you were born male would be if you flashed everyone or yelled "I WAS BORN MALE!!!!!!" just releax no one will know.

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

I always have the feeling that people are looking at me, especially men. It's going to happen because I'm in the role of being a woman and thus, as archaic as it is, we're looked at as the inferior sex and looked at as sexual objects. I've accepted the fact that guys are either looking at me and oogling or just in awe of my height. I'm hoping women are looking at me to either figure out if I'm really a guy or just in awe of my height.

I just try to do my best to act like I belong and try not to think about what the guys are thinking of when they look at me.

[Guest Little Sara]

I always have the feeling that people are looking at me, especially men. It's going to happen because I'm in the role of being a woman and thus, as archaic as it is, we're looked at as the inferior sex and looked at as sexual objects. I've accepted the fact that guys are either looking at me and oogling or just in awe of my height. I'm hoping women are looking at me to either figure out if I'm really a guy or just in awe of my height.

I just try to do my best to act like I belong and try not to think about what the guys are thinking of when they look at me.

You'd be surprised that some consider it the opposite way, as in superior sex = being appreciated for their beauty.

At least you'd think that with how many men insist for paying dates 100%, wether their dates can afford it or not, without expecting anything in return, just a smile maybe.

[Guest nova]

I'll just add something about the heels. I think you've got it right, get used to them just walking around your home. Sidewalks can tear them up fast. If I'm going some where were I'm going to be wearing heels, I'll carry them in a tote. Sometimes I just leave a pair in my car, just in case. I don't wear sky high heels much anymore and when I do it's like getting used to them all over again. And if they don't fit perfectly, forget it.