Not all of us have dysphoria

[Charlize]

I think this is an interesting and well written article. It fits into this forum nicely and also echoes the attitude i see here at Laura's in that we are all equal if different in how we perceive, are able or need to express our gender.

http://everydayfeminism.com/2015/08/not-all-trans-folks-dysphoria/

i really liked this paragraph.

"It’s about the journey it took to disregard expectations and find myself. It’s about the layers I had to peel away just to figure out who I was. It’s about the pride and elation I felt when I found the words to describe my identity. It’s about the sense of community I found with others like me. It’s the way that I understand gender and the way that I move through the world."

Hugs,

Charlize

[bobbisue]

Excellent article it gives one food for thought I have had self doubt as i do not hate my body rather I find a feminine appearance more comfortable a fit I have a lot to learn about my own experience and dont feel that I could judge an others

Let's try to support each other in this difficult life that has chosen us

bobbisue

[Guest NaturallyBluntandBeautiful]

Just finished reading it. Great article, and it makes a lot of great points about being transgender and part of the transgender community. And to be full honest, I don't really experience gender dysphoria, but rather feel that I would be much happier as a woman. And I know that I am not the only one, which is nice.

[Guest]

we are all very different indeed. I've been thinking that I was a girl my whole life. But the way I described that fact was : "I am crazy, I am a freak" I'm not that in love with the female experience, I like that better that's all. To me the bulk of being "transgender" IS the dysphoria. If I didn't have that I would probably dress as a man and be a normal man just to avoid all the negative things that goes with being transgender.

let's face it, I hate being transgender, I suffered for it my whole life, to me it's a curse... but I hate dysphoria even more.

I saw here a lot of different perspective and i'm happy everyone is not like me, lol

It give me an alternative on how to see myself and that's great, very great

[MarcieMarie12]

Sol,

I understand the sentiment being in gender purgatory at the moment. Yes I want to be a girl, yes I have dysphoria and the more time as me I get the more painful the dysphoria is when I'm not. I was in the car this morning on my way to work, I started sobbing probably a half a dozen times when I thought about my life being stuck as a male. I get home and try and dress as me if the wife isn't home (she doesn't want to see it). If I could stay male, I'd have to 1. not want to be a girl, 2. not have the dysphoria. Neither of which are possible.

Do I hate being trans? No, I just severely dislike the fact that a significant portion of the world hates us and I have to worry about it because I am trans.

BTW-can somebody not have dysphoria and still be trans? Yes. Can somebody have gender dysphoria and not be trans, I highly doubt it. They may suppress the desire for a while until their mind gives up. For me that took 40+ years.

[Guest Faith gibson]

Thanks Charlize. I found this article very good as well in that it, as with anything else that makes a person think, helps get me to the place I need to be.

I have had so many self doubts based on what other TG people have said in regards to my personal experience. I am finally getting to that place where I don't listen to others that much anymore, at least the negative stuff. Hopefully, someday I'll be completely free.

Dysphoria is such an awful thing. It is something that you live with for so long that it actually becomes companion you become so used to that you can't imagine life without it. I have to say though, I am somewhat envious of those that go through their days without it.

The main thing about this article is though, that we need to stop judging each other and I really believe that is true. Being post op or being on hormones does not make you more trans. It also appears not having dysphoria doesn't make you any less trans either. I hadn't considered that before because I also felt that the dysphoria was such a big thing with the whole trans experience. What does it matter? If someone identifies as a gender that is opposite of their assigned gender, that's it. There doesn't need to be a level of pain you need to go through to prove anything to anyone.

Faith

[Tejana]

Hhmmm....If I had not possessed GD/GID I would not have transitioned.

I have certainly gathered that the coventional wisdom on the subject has changed. Transitioning with all that entailed (HRT, SRS/GRS, etc.), used to be considered a diagnosis-driven course of treatment(s) executed in the hopes of saving/salvaging the client's/patient's life.

I am inclined to think that third-party reimbursement cannot be justified sans medical/behavioral-health diagnosis. On the other hand, I see no reason for much medical/behavioral-health gatekeeping for privately-funded elective procedures.

[JJ]

For most of my life I would have vehemently denied that I had body dysphoria of any kind. I hated my body for very different reasons I thought. including being molested at 6. But I was diagnosed as having a male brain as long ago as 1968 even though I never disclosed a word of my male feelings and fantasies to him in the dozens of hours of therapy. Though I did test in male area on every abilities test I ever had and he had those. The psychologist couldn't find the source of the incorrect socialization as it was considered then but felt it was immutable and a fundamental part of my personality as well. I was lucky to have found him.

But that difference in brain caused me untold pain and unhappiness -made it difficult to fit and impossible to be myself in a female world because I always came across wrong somehow. Always felt fundamentally out of kilter with the world. Till transition. There have been so many changes I never expected. And I have discovered I am dysphoric. And always have been though on such a deep level I didn't consciously feel it at all. Saw the self harm and risk taking as related to other negative life experiences instead of the deep dysphoria.

I didn't transition to change my body -though I was and am deeply happy about those changes even though I am now more consciously body dysphoric than ever before. I transition to live my life as myself. To be able to live and interact as a real person and not someone trying all the time to fit in.

We are all so individual. No one of us has THE way, is better than anyone else. No one has any right to judge anyone else. I may see behaviors I recognize-or think I do anyway-and try to help someone wrestling with them but that neither makes them more or less than me or visa versa. Just means they are in a different place from me.

Bottom line is that we need to equally respect every other person. Like them or not. Agree with them or not. And no part of any discussion here-or anywhere else including the political area has any business being a demeaning of anyone as a human being. Condemn ideas, condemn behaviors, but never ever condemn or demean another human being.

And as far as the article it is very good. The heart of it is inclusion. Personally I don't believe there is one kind of dysphoria and it embodies everything. That is just far too simplistic. My real dysphoria was living and role in society that was fundamentally wrong for me and being socialized that it had to be so. And if someone is blessed enough to avoid that they may indeed not feel dysphoric in that context. On the other hand some feel body dysphoria as the primary pain and disruption in their lives and go on with their assigned gender roles once their body feels right. I think they are end of a spectrum and most of us fall somewhere between with a mix of both. Which should not be a basis for any judgment whatsoever.

Johnny

[JBfox]

I've gone pretty much my whole life without the concept of dysphoria. I remember always daydreaming or fantasizing, even pretending when I was a little kid, but somehow I convinced myself even at those ages tha whatever I was feeling wasn't right or just a dream kind of thing. I remember maybe sometime In middle school I struggled pretty hard around the idea that I wasn't suppose to be a boy, but again managed to push it off without ever bringing it up to somebody. Those daydreams persisted now into my early adult hood, but I don't think aside from those moments as a kid that it was dysphoric. I'd say even now I'm not really dysphoric, but I think maybe that's always slowly changing as a grasp my mind around what I've really been feeling all these years.

~JB