When should you start wearing a bra?

[Guest AllisonRae]

Hello, Hopefully this does not sound like a dumb question but when is it time to begin wearing a bra. I am almost 5 months on the estrodial patch, and 3 months on spiro. The girls are off to a decent start, AA to A cup so far. My problem is that I am not out at work yet. I also have lost 75lbs in the past year so I am currently able to keep the girls somewhat concealed thanks to my clothes being baggy. In better fitting clothes they are quite obvious. Just not sure what I need to do. The only bras I have are my pocket bras for my forms.

Hugs

Allison

[Guest LesleyAnne]

Well Allison Rae....

I haven't yet, and it will be two years on E (don't need the Spiro since I've had the boys removed) and I'm a solid B cup. I do have the spandex type bra's (no not the exercise ones) that have a little padding, but I don't need them unless my headlights are on. Mine are pretty firm so no need yet, and considering I will be 67 in 40 days I see no need. However I do wear them with certain blouses. It just depends on how you want to look.

Go with your own style girl, and what makes you feel femme. So that's IMO advice....go with what makes you happy and feel YOU!

Love,

LesleyAnne

[Guest Raya]

Well Allison, I'm just getting started myself, and I find a snug undershirt or cami a must when I don't want to be showing.

[Guest AllisonRae]

I need to be careful at work, many of my co workers are not trans friendly and I am worried that I could be fired if I get outed.

[Guest Nicodeme]

It's been a little over ten years since I was faced with this decision so my memory's kinda fuzzy but from what I remember:

Are they visible? (Going by your original post, yes.)

Are they painful or annoying when you move?

In your case a low-impact sports bra is probably a good idea. Just enough compression to keep them subtle and minimize movement that would suggest they're boobs rather than pecs until you come out at work.

[Guest LesleyAnne]

Sorry AllisonRae,

I didn't think about your work, and to hear you are not out there, and have some transphobic co-workers is hard to deal with...I'm so sorry!

I was forcibly retired in 2011 with no pension or buy out so at then 62 I was unable to find work again. So now S.S. , and my Veteran disability is all I have...so I see your need to remain under the radar for now.

Now if you look on the internet there are many solutions to hiding your flowering gift. One is:

http://www.gynecomastiashirtreviews.com

I thought about this approach, but have found that even at a solid B cup I can put on a tight t-shirt under a dress shirt which seems to keep them from showing up much, and if able to go casual I leave the dress or nice button down shirt unbuttoned. This causes folds of the shirt to fill in the cleavage area and hide, or rather camouflage my breasts, making the chest look somewhat flat across the width.

There are lots of ways to still enjoy what you have, and at the same time disguise and hide your gift when necessary.

It's a tough world out there, and I do hope you will be able to be yourself some day, even at work without fear of reprisal.

My heart goes out to you!

Love,

LesleyAnne

[Guest]

A stretch bra with very wide shoulder straps may do the trick. Some are long like a camisole. Some have petals that would conceal your nipples if your areolas are gaining significantly in size.

The goal is to make the outlines under clothing to appear as though you are wearing a "wife beater" t-shirt.

Outer shirts with pockets on the chest are also a good disguise.

Don't wear that type of bra all the time. Attractive well fitting feminine bras help shape the girls in their formative years. Breasts need to breath and grow so don't bind them up in anything while you are sleeping, they need their rest too.

Medically speaking bras are never needed unless the breasts are so large their weight is uncomfortable or in the case of many augmentations. Personally I love to show my headlights unless I'm in an environment where high beams are totally unacceptable such as work or formal gatherings. That's just me, an old hippie chick left over from the bra burning days. Giggle. Hug. JodyAnn

[Guest Clair Dufour]

As noted shirts with double breast pockets work well. Also, putting things in the pockets even better. Keep in mind that your at an age that man boobs start to come in due to a lack of T and don't be shy about mentioning your prostate problem that your being treated for. In other words lie and feel self concious about your man boobs and you are afraid you might need surgery. BTW check your butt and hips as changes are going on down there too. Filling out a pair of girl jeans is just as noticeable!

[Guest LesleyAnne]

Well Said Clair,

When you're dealing with prejudice, do whatever it takes to lead them astray! The idea is for them to leave you the heck alone!

Maintain your job, and work towards being able to be you whenever able.

[Guest AllisonRae]

Thanks so much everyone for your great advice. Thinking of going with a sport bra. I can notice even in a 2x tee shirt that I have a very distinctly feminine pair of breast with prominent nipples. My typical work outfit is a tee shirt with a button down flannel over top of it worn untucked. I actually think its awesome but I have noticed a couple co-workers looking at me odd from time to time if I have my button down shirt off which I did during the warmer months after my lunchtime spped walk/run.

Clair, I never thought about my butt and thighs being more obvious but you are absolutely correct. In tighter jeans I love the way I look, very feminine, my thighs, hips and butt all look great. I have been trying to hide that with bigger jeans but mens jeans don't fit me right in the hips, especially now. I have a pair of regular womens size 14 that look like mens jeans that I wear exclusively for work. Forgive me for rambling, I need to speak with my gender therapist again and see if she believes that I should at least speak to HR at work now.

Hugs,

Allison

[VickySGV]

Another item to think about, the nippies do stand out in a girl fashion pretty early and that is the female give-away. There is a product at Wal Mart and other stores called Petals, which are silicone stick on patches that smooth the sharp points out. I am full time (duh) and do not worry about being noticed, but on days I do not wear a bra (most days) I wear the petals for a bit more modesty. I had some remaining beer blubber when I started HRT and the Petals turned me back into male moobs.

[StephanieVikingGirl]

Hi Allison,

I had a similar problem, fast growing boobs. At two months into HRT I started wearing an overshirt, kinda like your button down type to cover them. By four and a half months they were a B cup, and I decided to arrange a "coming out" to my boss (we don't have an HR department, it is a small company). That was a year ago for me, and I am glad that I don't have to hide my C cups nowadays. Most of the time I go bra-less, but I do appreciate the support at work, and the light padding enhancement when dressed nicely.

I am lucky not to have any trans phobes at work, everyone has been completely accepting, and supportive. I totally understand your worry though, I am not from California originally, and so I know how some folks are in PA. It is groovy that you are responding to HRT so well, but it does mean covering up for now. How trans friendly are your HR folks? I agree that it might be best to talk to HR soon if they are okay.

hugs,

Stephanie

[Guest Clair Dufour]

The problem with tee shirts is that the bra straps show if their too tight. Even with long spandex tops underneath the multilayers are a give away. When I was in the Philippines in the late 60's many women would wear thin cotton shirts with two breast pockets. Again, one could put things in the pockets and also cut off the sleeves to get cooler and look more bad donkey look. A cowboy shirt would be a good choice.

[Guest AllisonRae]

Hi Stephanie, I work for a smaller company as well. My main concern is that one of our most transphobic employees is in very well with upper management and our lady in HR. Plus we have several evangelical Christians that see being transgender as a sin. I am sure you know how a lot of the people are in the greater Pittsburgh area. I feel so great and hate hiding, Going to speak with my gender therapist tomorrow and see if she would be willing to speak with out HR lady if she has questions. It is totally groovy how I am responding too. Plus I feel so happy now, I have never felt such inner joy before.

Hugs

Allison

[Guest Sarah1967]

HI Allison in 6 months, 1 week, 5 days I will be on the HRT for 3 years not out to everyone yet an the girls are starting to bust out of my B cup bras an when I am out an about it's a t shirt an a xl western shirt an the girls an becoming harder to be in stealth mode.. I'm not going to worry about it I'm going to be who I am

[Charlize]

I was wearing a bra before starting HRT. It was pocketed and i still wear a pocketed bra but now the pads are quite small. I have been grateful for a little padding when i've bumped into things especially during growth periods when things are so tender. I doubt i will ever get very large and perhaps i could hide it all as described above or by using some of the techniques that our brothers here use. The question that comes to me is when do you plan (if ever) to come out and be full time. I'm glad you can talk to your therapist as it is something you may well want to consider as hard as it might be.

Sorry to bring that subject up but it seems to be so appropriate at this point.

Hugs (with a bit of padding still there),

Charlize

[Guest Mickey]

I ain't doing it! I ain't wearing one of them confounded things until I have no other choice! I do not want to be irritated by that darn thing later in the day. If all I ever really wanna do, when out and about, is to get home so I can take it off, then why should I even put it on in the first place? Of course I'm not in your shoes though. I'm already out to the world and living as me all the time. So I have no need to hide anything. And I am going to enjoy the fact that my breasts are still young and perky.

[Guest Ashley40]

Hello,

IMO: 1) Better start talking with HR and making plans ,2) better start the legal proceedings for name and document changes. What you are doing is not about breasts, its about ensuring your transition at work is as smooth as possible, which is only going to happen if you are planning 6~12 months into the future.

Often its easier to ask forgiveness instead of permission, but this is not one of those circumstances. Your job is on the line here.

[Guest AllisonRae]

Well just an quick update. The weather here south of Pittsburgh took a nosedive today and the girls do not like it at all. So while the aching was driving me crazy while we were at wally world a friend took me over and helped me pick out a package of sport bras. She said they would help with the cold sensitivity. She was correct, oh bless her heart! They are pretty comfy too and not easily noticed. Best thing is they are keeping the girls nice and toasty!

Hugs

Allie