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Did I just hit the comming out jackpot?


MarcieMarie12

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Well, this thanksgiving is one that will be memorable for me. I separated from wife and moved out. I came out to my long time friends, who were very supportive--they saw some pictures and said some nice things. Then I came out to my parents, who said they will love me and I should do what makes me happy. My dad then went into his role of offering wisdom regarding what restraunts to try and to not rush things. I then explained what I have been doing the last 6 months. He then said to let him know when the name changed so he can update the will. My mom was pretty quiet, but she liked the name I chose; Marcie Anne. My brothers were equally supportive and said I should do whatever I need to do to make me happy. One did ask about surgery, and I did say that because of some aspects of my dysphoria I thought that would be necessary.

So I think I hit the coming out jackpot. Not one negative response so far. Of course I'll have to wait and see what their reaction is to me as me or if they changevtheir minds. But it has been a positive reaction so far.

:groupwavereversed: :groupwavereversed: :groupwavereversed: :groupwavereversed: :groupwavereversed:

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  • Admin

I am glad it came out so well for you and your family, but do be prepared to let them possibly backtrack a bit from time to time.
They could have second thoughts or find moments of doubt in the future, and you do have to be ready for that, but you do seem to have hit the jackpot here.

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  • Forum Moderator

Regardless of how you are accepted in your new (to the outside world ) self , accepting ourselves is perhaps the most important part of our coming out. It sounds like you are doing both. Having support of family and friends makes it easier. For me it was a bit bumpy at first but time has smoothed the path. My family generally accepts me and i am happy with my self.

Hugs,

Charlize

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  • Forum Moderator

Marcie, that's great news. My family has also been very supportive with my news. Next for me is telling my friends.

Jani

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Guest Kayla Grace

Sounds like you did hit quite a jackpot. It's nice to not have anyone barring your path isn't it? In my opinion one of the most difficult part of transition is waiting for everyone else to catch up like your family, friends, etc. I remember my dad saying a few days ago "if I call you "[insert my legal name here]" (oh, it won't be my legal name for much longer!!) Its just because it slips out. Calling you it for 23 years won't go away that easily.

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I know, it definitely helps with the anxiety and do something stupid thoughts......haven't had any of those since. :)

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Well my family is mad at the effect this had on my ex-wife. I don't blame them, it will be the one thing I always feel guilty about. My parents and I had a tough conversation on Saturday (I was out as Marcie). I decided to send them the FAQ I wrote in preparation of coming out. I think it gives them a better perspective of what I am going through. Especially since when I came out it was a shock to them. But time will tell.

--Marcie

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  • 3 months later...

Well, I just sent an e-mail out to family to give them an update (with pictures). But I did hear from my Dad that my mom was upset by it and didn't want to see it. I sent him him an e-mail stating that once they want to see me Marcie, they can, my door is open. But outside of work (which I will be going full-time July 1st)-- I am no longer going to pretend to be a guy.

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I did get a response to my update that they were happy for me in AZ (at least the parents, the kids still don't know). No response from my Dad or brother that lives nearby.

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Don't give up yet it still needs time for them to come to terms with this part of your life , let them take the time don't push them it may push them away , but stay strong love and hugs

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It took a few days but eventually my dad responded that he is trying to understand what I am going through. He mentioned reading My Brother, My Sister, a story about a transwoman transitioning when they were in their 60's from the perspective of her sister.

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  • 1 year later...

Not quite a dead post, this is proof that coming out is a process. My mom called me Marcie for the first time today, at least I think she did...it was kind of quietly said. We'll see if that is just me getting my hopes up. But with my dad away I have been calling her to check in with her and see how she is doing. Apparently she is enjoying the peace and quiet. It has made it an interesting week. Both of us are home alone and time to talk. . My girlfriend also is not here. 

 

PS: Yes I just necroed this thread. :D

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  • Forum Moderator

Good news about your mom.  She might have said your name quietly as a way of trying it out to see how she felt.  Sounds like she's coming around. 

Jani

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Be confident Marcie! If she can spend extended time with you talking normally she will begin to accept without realising. Mostly my mother now accepts how I look without question after quite a while dressing very feminine with makeup, although I have never really discussed it, just answered direct questions.

Tracy

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  • Forum Moderator

That's significant Marcie, especially from those that have known you for so long. 

C -

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