proud of being trans article

[Guest Faith gibson]

Hi,

Just after my last post, I read this on a post on FB so I thought I would share it as it kind of addresses some of the things I am wrestling with.

http://www.vice.com/en_uk/read/im-proud-of-being-trans-and-i-dont-care-about-passing

Faith

[Carolyn Marie]

Very good article. Thanks for sharing it, Faith.

Carolyn Marie

[Guest]

I agree good work. Thanks for posting.

[Guest Jamie61]

Thanks Faith!

I have been thinking about the same issues. I also think visibility is an important beacon to society and especially young people.

BTW I think that each 'next generation' is less into the traditional binary system! I like being visible for them. Other times, I just want to be un-noticed.... especially for those pesky bathroom stops...

Jamie

[Charlize]

It is hard to stand out in any way as it opens one to ridicule and in some situations worse. That is obviously why we have such an obsession to pass. it is society that pushes us there and it is is us that allows that to happen. I am certainly guilty of doing my best to "blend in". I've become quite successful and yet feel perhaps i should be more willing to push the boundaries back a bit at least where conditions are safe. Perhaps that is one reason i've taken on some speaking commitments where i'm out. Even in those i want to be seen as the woman i am. Perhaps it is because i see myself more as a woman who is trans*, than a trans* woman. Thanks for the article Faith. Much to think about.

Hugs,

Charlize

[AnnazMom]

From the article: "We can present any way we choose, and a space in public consciousness needs to be made available for all identities of trans individuals." This is what I have been thinking about too. I agree with Jamie that the next generation seem to be more open to more diverse aspects of gender and presentations. I have gone through my own education of the totality of my acceptance for all types of presentations and no longer have negative or joking internal dialogs about what I see in others concerning their outward choices. I do wish "passing" was not the "gold standard", but understand that we are not there yet.

[Guest Faith gibson]

I agree AnnazMom, passing is the main thing for the most part, and there are so many that do it so well. Maybe more of them need to be visible? For me, that is what I am looking for and the lack of it is what causes me a fair amount of discomfort and doubt. I, like so many, am also my own worst critic, but aside from that, I want to look as feminine as possible, that is something I seem to need. So I guess I am just as guilty as most of the general public. I am however, more than happy to accept anyone else as far as they would like to be seen, but for myself, it seems I need something that is just beyond me. I really wish it wasn't so. It's something I hopefully will begin to work on.

[VickySGV]

My question on some of this is, how are you feeling about yourself when you set foot out the door? I find that by and large, now I am mostly ignored. In other environments I am just Vicky, whoever the hell that is, I can be taken from an attractive woman to Man In Dress and still be Vicky (whoever I am at that moment). Being ignored is really my favorite situation with moments where teaching in an intelligent and cheerful manner are close behind the "being ignored" motif. I do not think that moments when people are boozed up, or are worked up over a religious manual that they may or may not have read well are the times to do teaching, and distance is a good healer of wounds in those cases. I, like the author of this article do not care about being the most perfect or cutest and sexiest woman in a town. Approach me with a smile and however I look, I will smile in return. Approach me with menace in your eyes and I will get away from you fast. Approach me with question or wonder on you face, and I will speak to either in gentle informative tones and try to make you a friend. I am me, Vicky, whoever and whatever Vicky is!!

Just my nickle.

[MarcieMarie12]

Yes, I think it would be best if everyone can express their gender as they see fit. However, one thing not touched in the article is how the need passing also stems from having the "appropriate" attire in the workplace. People who do not, and refuse to dress apropriately in the workplace can and do get fired (trans or not trans). Add to that being trans, and going the not passing route, an employer might use that as an excuse to fire the trans person since they "don't dress appropriately". Just a thought of why passing in some ways is important, even if we didn't want it to be.

My own thought is that I don't want to be something in the middle. That is not me. I am woman in spirit. Strong willed and stubborn, but I am woman.

[gennee]

I pass pretty well. There have been times when I've been read like a book. It doesn't faze me. The most important thing is that I'm out living my life. Having seen numerous gender expressions during my questioning phase was instrumental in my progress. As far as visibility goes, I'm thinking more along the lines that we are speaking up for ourselves and taking charge. rather than being a creation of the media. Just because some don't pass does not mean that they don't have something valuable to say or contribute. The media loves to play on the Hollywood, eye-candy stuff.