Big day tomorrow, out to best friends

[Jani]

Well, tomorrow we'll visit our best and oldest friends who live an hour away in another state for dinner. We haven't seen them since last November. I'm bringing the main course, salmon and they're providing the rest. My therapist has been after me about telling them but I've been waiting for the appropriate time. It has come! I'm nervous. I am confident it will be fine but... I've known this guy since I was 18 and his wife two years later. So we have over 40 years of history.

Our last date was a concert and the wife did make a comment about my hair length. I shrugged it off as being to poor for haircuts now that I'm retired. When we arrive I'm going to suggest opening a bottle of wine and having some conversation before we start to cook. I'm sure my lack of beard shadow, longer hair and earrings will pique a little interest.

What I'll say is what I've said to my family so no need to rehearse lines. I'm bringing a copy of Jenny Boylan's book, "She's Not There" for them to read later, hoping it will provide some insight and answer any questions they might not feel like addressing right away.

I have close to fifty people in my life that I'm out to; my family, my doctors and people at a few business I frequent. We have a small circle of close friends and this is the first one I'm revealing too. I hope it goes well so I can move on to the others. I will feel much better when its all done!

Wish me luck,

Jani

[VickySGV]

It seems to go slowly, but it all gets done, and is so great a relief you will not believe it. Best wishes, you have chosen a very good book for them to use as a reference and an insight to you.

[Charlize]

Best of luck to you! I've been 98 percent lucky and hope you do even better.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Guest LesleyAnne]

All the best to you Jani

I certainly know the nervousness associated with telling an old friend that has known you for a good part of your life.

Good idea about the Jenny Boylan book...I hadn't thought of that.....

Anyway I wish you a welcome reception to your news. I'm sure it will be fine.

[Guest Denise007]

Hmmmm, if your friends have no idea at all; it's really (imho) shock and awe rather then outing yourself. Good luck!

[jeanniesauve']

Success Jani,I look forward to hearing how well it went!

jeannie

[Guest Jamie61]

Best of luck to you, Jani.

I'm sure that old friends should know well, the person you are.

Jamie

[Guest]

Best of luck!

Keeping you in my thoughts, Jani.

A wonderful choice of a book to share with your friends.

Huggs,

Joann

[SoSarah]

The best to you Jani !. In 1996 I came out to my best friend, he after 42 years is still my best friend. His wife of 10 years is supportive. His daughter is very sick and I had a life threatening event and we are there for each other. He still doesn't get it but is very protective of me. Sarah

[Jani]

Well it all went good. When we arrived we settled into catch up conversation as a lot has been going on in our lives. When we finally wound down to start preparing dinner I said I had one more thing to tell them. I gave a brief history and said that my personality wasn’t changing and that I would be the same person they know. They were surprised but not shocked. My friend said OK as long as I don’t change my opinion of tools. He’s a machinist and we’ve both done woodworking. I reassured him that this bond would not be broken but I would be more careful not to break my nails!

When I gave them the book, the wife who is a librarian said they had it in their stacks and that the author had actually come to the library once for a presentation. There were questions for my wife about how she was doing with it all and about the state of our marriage. She reassured them all was good with us.

As I had hoped, they were accepting and supporting. What a relief. Oh, and we had a great dinner and dessert. When we were leaving my friend offered his best wishes with my journey. I do have wonderful friends.

Thank you all for your kind words of support also.

Jani

[tracy_j]

Wonderful

Tracy

[Guest Denise007]

Glad it went well Jani!

[Guest]

[StephanieVikingGirl]

Groovy news Jani! It is truly a great feeling to get in touch, and keep in touch, with old friends during transition's journey. May all your friends accept you as these have.

hugs,

Stephanie

[Jani]

You're right Stephanie. I guess that's why they are old (and dear) friends. I'm hoping for similar results as I go through my list. Thanks to everyone for their kind words. Sometimes a sounding board like this is all I need to keep me moving.

Thanks!

Jani

[bobbisue]

Thank you for posting your story it gives me hope for my journey

bobbisue

[Guest LesleyAnne]

Awesome news Jani

One just never knows how it will be received, and when it is well received, it is so nice to hear kind words of support!

I've lost some friends over this, and it has estranged my youngest son, and his wife whom I thought would be the most supportive. Out of my two sons, and their wives, I was surprised that it was my oldest son, and his wife who embraced me.

It hurts to your very core when a loved one turns away, but as we all know, it eventually has to be faced.

So happy for you Jani, and my wish for you is continued success as you work down your list

LesleyAnne

[Guest KerryUK]

Hi Jani,

I always seem to be late to the party (that does make me very sad and a little cross). Do accept my apologies for not coming to wish you all the very best of luck before you went to visit your friends. I am thrilled for you that it went so well. That's another of the hurdles well and truly jumped Jani - the hurdles do seem to become easier to jump as you progress too. Good for you girl.

Kerry

[Jani]

Thanks Kerry! I know we have a time zone difference to contend with and you also have a job to tend to so I fully understand. Yes it went quite well, all things considered. They are truly my dearest of friends. The next time we see them I will be in full feminine mode so that will be interesting too.

Jani

[Guest Sarah1967]

Fantastic