The Magic of AA and My Return

[JenniferB]

I'm back in AA and had a God moment. It became crystal clear why to keep coming back. One of the magic parts of AA is pre-12 steps.

When I started going to AA for the first time I went into a very big group, averaging about 50-75 people per meeting. It was a 5:30 meeting 7 days a week that I could attend right after work every day. Even on the first day a couple people came up to me and introduced themselves, and the only encouragement was to keep coming back. Within a very short time I became a greeter and welcomed people to the meeting. I did this for quite a few months. For around the first 6 months I attended meetings every day, although not always the same group. I actually ended up attending 3 main groups.

Here is where the magic begins and the reason to keep coming back. You find a kind of love that is hard to find anywhere. You start to know people. You may know only a few at first but the number of people you know and grows. There is a love and bonding with people in AA that is hard to find outside the safety of meetings. People give out their phone numbers willingly and when I needed someone to talk with it wasn’t hard to find someone. So when I desired to have a drink or felt emotionally troubled there was always someone who was willing to listen. Soon the number of people I knew and loved was in the dozens, then 100s. It didn’t take long before I would rather be at a meeting than be home because of the joy I felt meeting so many people I cared about.

One trap, IMO, people fall into when going to AA meetings is starting the 12 steps too quickly. I don’t believe that would have worked in my case. It would have been too overwhelming. The qualification for attending AA is “A desire to stop drinking”. There isn’t any requirement to start a 12-step program, or get a sponsor instantly. That comes when one is ready. If I wasn’t ready this would only push me away. One can start very slowly. Sharing isn’t a requirement and one can stay silent until they feel more comfortable to share. I actually recommend just listening to others share. Eventually someone will say something that will be very similar to your own circumstance. And the more this happens the more one will grow, and heal, in AA. I’ve seen miracles happen, and lives totally change. People who came in angry and untrusting, then in time came to love.

If you really desire to quit drinking, attend an AA meeting, and just listen. For the miracle to happen all you have to do is keep coming back. It could change your life. I now realize it isn’t which meeting to attend. It’s just attending a meeting. Every time I attend a meeting I may find another friend and the amount of contacts will grow. The move to Phoenix was tough in that I lost all my contacts in Tucson, and had to start over. But again maybe I wouldn’t have seen this truth as clearly as I see it now if this didn’t happen. I thought my higher power was ripping me away from what I had found and I was there for his amusement. Now I feel I am blessed and have grown because of the experience.

Jennifer

[Guest erinanita]

Beautiful words, Jennifer. My sentiments exactly.

When I came to the program more than 36 years ago, there wasn't the pressure to do the steps immediately. I rarely spoke at meetings but I went to a lot of meetings. My sponsor drilled it into my head that I had to introduce myself and then pass. I did that for a year. When it was time to celebrate my first year of sobriety I had to speak for about an hour. I didn't think I could, but I actually didn't finish it. And I cried a lot.

After that I started to do the steps and talk when asked. My life began to change in a much more positive way. I often marvel at the way things have changed in AA. It worked for me at the time. Just keep coming back.

Erin (Thtufus)

[SoSarah]

Great to read Jennifer. Things can be looking up, when you look up. My father had a God moment in 1979 when I was 20. He plus AA never had another drink. This is a good thing for you. Smile's... Sarah

[Charlize]

Dear Jennifer, thank you for sharing. It is wonderful to see you give it another go in a new place. People and geography may change but the hope and support we find in the rooms is worldwide. You have helped me just by dropping by on Sunday nights.

Lots of hugs,

Charlize

[JJ]

Beautiful Jennifer. I have seen some real miracles among those who attend AA. Not only in quitting drinking but in so many other aspects of their lives.

And I have heard AA members who spoken openly about their involvement speak of going back time after time till they made it. That is a special grace of the meetings and people there. They welcome people back as many times as it takes and rejoice for them. My granddaughter's father didn't really accept the program but went to please my daughter and lied his way through each meeting. It was a group they invited her to because there are no Alanon groups here . She knew they knew he was working them and telling lies and still kept trying to reach out to him. After his death they called frequently to make sure she was doing well though she is a non drinker.

I'm not a drinker myself, even casually anymore, but my life has been deeply affected by alcohol - I had an alcoholic parent and married an alcoholic - and I stand in awe of AA and what it can accomplish. And the people who make it so. I am very happy for you Jennifer.

Hugs

Johnny