Your Moment

[JJ]

We talk about a lot of the angst and pain, the despair and challenges we have all faced. But there is another side. Depending on the road and where we are on it our moments may vary but I believe we have all had a moment that made a difference. A positive difference.

I have had many. But one that stands out for me is the first time a stranger addressed me as Sir" in public. I was with my daughter and my granddaughter's father in Subway in Walmart .We were at the counter ordering and the guy making the subs turned to me and said "What can I get for you Sir?"

My daughter who was in front of me whirled around to look at me-startled by the word. My granddaughter's father's head snapped up and he stared too. I concealed the surge of elation and tried to nonchalantly order. Until that day my daughter had been refusing to use and pronouns or address me as anything except JJ in public. Which was a sore point and painful because I knew she was embarrassed to use a male pronoun when she saw me as still so female. It changed in that moment. From then on it was "he" and "him". It was the same for my granddaughter's father.

And in time my daughter progressed to referring to me as her father which she had said she could never do. It started forward with that one moment which for anyone else would be so mundane in that very ordinary little Subway.

A moment that will stay vivid and make me smile till my dying day. It was a day that something small changed my world.

What moments do you have? What times will you always remember? Positive one only please.

Johnny

[tracy_j]

For me a time I will remember was when I was with my partner in a cafe at the seaside. We were waiting for food and both reading novels. An elderly lady came up to our table as she was leaving and said 'I can tell that you two ladies are enthusiastic readers' and continued to let us know of a good author she liked.

It was the first time my partner and myself were together when I was recognised as a woman.

Tracy

[Guest LesleyAnne]

I'm very happy for you Johnny, and you too Tracy

For myself I'm anxiously anticipating that special moment

I know it will come, so I'm positive it's "when", and not "if"

[Guest Faith gibson]

The most recent one for me was last weekend. I went into a shop in the mall and a young female clerk said she loved my eye makeuo and wished she could apply it so well. It made me smile for quite awhile. Frankly, she didn't need makeup and I should have told her and returned the compliment. I was just kind of surprised and a little embarrassed. I will definately try to improve my reaction to complliments in the future.

Faith

[Charlize]

Perhaps mine took place during a trip before i went full time. I was driving on the Pennsylvania Turnpike and had to use the ladies room. Nervous, you bet but the call of nature couldn't be ignored. I was in such luck as the room was empty so i did what i needed and went to the sink. There i was met by the lady who was cleaning the restroom. We simply had a lovely chat. She asked about my trip and the weather as i washed my hands and touched up my lip stick. I knew i was ok at that point.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Jani]

Last summer a week or so after coming out to my wife we are in town having lunch at a place we hadn't tried before and the waitress addressed us as women several times. My wife was surprised since I wasn't dressed in a particularly feminine way. It wasn't the first time this had happened over the years but it was the first time the wait staff didn't correct themselves and continued to address us (me) in the proper gender. I knew I was on my way.

[Guest erinanita]

JJ, this really a great topic. Most of us have many moments - times when actions of others around us tend to support our own feelings and show others how we feel.

I was visiting with my mother in a different province. We were sitting in a cafe where my mother eats regularly. The waitress addressed us "two ladies". I took it in stride. My mother insisted on saying, loud enough for everyone in the dining room to hear, "This is my son. He is visiting me from Edmonton." That was okay too. The waitress came back and said "Here are your coffee's ladies. I'll be right back with your soup."

I didn't change my mother. She brought three sons and a daughter into this world and she'll have three sons and a daughter when she leaves this earth. But it did make her take notice that other people see me as a female.That was five years ago. I had been taking hormones for 2 years. She still reacts the same way, but she loves to come and visit me.

Erin (Thtufus)

[Cyndee]

That is a great story JJ

For me it was long before hormones, I was just starting to grow my hair out, wearing only jeans, ball cap, and flannel shirt. I was addressed as "Ma'am" by this Asian lady checking me out at the store. I guess it was my first moment of "male fail", and gave me confidence. It told me it was mannerisms and attitude that mattered in giving off the proper gender signals, not dress, or not my body shape, it just came naturally. I suppose I have a certain natural feminine essence that just bubbles to the surface no matter what, it was hard to hide as a boy.

C -

[Guest Mickey]

The most recent one for me was last weekend. I went into a shop in the mall and a young female clerk said she loved my eye makeuo and wished she could apply it so well. It made me smile for quite awhile. Frankly, she didn't need makeup and I should have told her and returned the compliment. I was just kind of surprised and a little embarrassed. I will definately try to improve my reaction to complliments in the future.

Faith

Trust me on this one Faith, when you see just how someones face lights up, when we give them a compliment, you will soon be passing out compliments like an ol' pro. I mean, think about it, you were smiling for hours because of the compliment that she gave you. It does the same thing to others, when we give them one.

On another note, I am so glad to see you getting out and about, as you. And having fun at the same time.

[Ashley218]

I haven't made any changes yet, but I asked a female friend of mine if she thought I could look good as a woman. She said yes and that I have the most gorgeous eyes she has ever seen!

[Guest Markietoo]

JJ, a good topic and one that strikes each of us at some time in our transitions. For me, it happened during the first few months of my own life full time as Markie. My father had just passed away at age 94 and I had to travel down to the funeral. I'd just let my family know about my transition that week and only about a dozen people knew about me at the funeral, though over 200 attended. I walked my mother to the grave site for the service to sit along with my two sisters. I could hear people talking and wondering who's that woman with Ada, my mom, and where was her son Marc. Lots of whispering going on. My father's funeral and the following wake was also my own 'coming out' event as a woman. An emotional tempest on many different levels but one in which I learned that I could indeed live my new life as a woman just as my father life ended. A memorable day I'll never forget.

Markie Anna

[Guest KerryUK]

I hope you don't mind Johnny but I have two.

First was not long after I started transition and was still fairly gender neutral. My partner and I were walking through Blackpool and this chap passed close by me in the street. As he passed, he simply remarked 'lovely eyes' and carried on - I hurriedly said 'oh thanks' over my shoulder as he disappeared into the crowd (I was gobsmacked but felt great at the same time).

The other is a few weekends ago. My 'bestie' (ciswoman) and me shared a hotel room while my partner and her 'bestie' were in the room next door. There was no awkwardness from her and I was simply treated no differently than when we usually meet up. It was a lovely experience to be accepted as one of the girls.

Kerry

[MarcieMarie12]

First time out going as my true self, and the waiter said to us "What a pair of lovely ladies, can I get you something to drink?" The lovely ladies was a bit over the top. Had one of those validating moments today when a gentleman I knew that lived in my apartment offered to take my grocery bags. He insisted, so I let him, he does not know that I am trans.

[gennee]

I was surprised by how a few ladies I know shared how much I had an impact on their lives. Encouraging others and enjoying their company has enriched my life also.

[Guest]

I was standing in line at a down town Circle K when this little old gal was sort of cuddled up to me. I looked down at her, then she blew my mind!

"Do you play basketball for the Phoenix Mercury's?" "No, I'm a little too old for that..." "You should, you are so tall and pretty!" "Why thank you my Dear!"

We shared a warm loving smile, I just wanted to hug her! I beamed for days. Giggle. Hug. JodyAnn.