Frightening Times

[JJ]

There has been so much fear about what is happening with the South and LGBT issues.

And people feel that we are in an unprecedented crisis that can lead to a shattering of the country. Or the denial of our basic human rights.

But there has been a precedent and it was worse than this in my lifetime. The same religious reasoning was used and the Bible twisted the same way to justify hate-even murder - in my lifetime. Though I was just a kid I remember when Federal troops were sent to enforce the law in this state. I didn't live here then but it was less than 100 miles from where I am now.

The fight for the enactment of the Civil Rights Act was more bitter and more violent. It was a Republican ironically enough who sent those troops to Arkansas in 1957. And to some extent the seeds of what is going on now lie in that time. The South lost - again - but they have not forgotten or forgiven. That's why the call has already arisen to repeal and rewrite the Civil Rights Act. And I promise you these good old boy white politicians don't really intend to limit that to LGBT issues. I hope and believe that the people of color in this country will realize that and join join us in making sure these bigots get shut out of public office and denied the power to do more than howl their rage.

The fight for equal rights under the law was won and this one for the LGBT community will be too. The haters and bigots actually have far less of a foothold than they did in 1957 and the early 60s.

It's a frightening time for us with a spotlight that we did not seek but in the end it will make an enormous difference for every single one of us as we move from a marginalized minority to full protection under the law.

Johnny

[VickySGV]

I have some younger friends who are ramping up against that possibility Johnny, and after meeting them and getting to know them, I am not as afraid for the future as I really might be.

[Carolyn Marie]

Just a few short years ago, when I started my journey to womanhood, transgender was a word that almost no one in the general population had heard of, and the number of trans celebrities and noteworthy people could be counted on one hand. Our problems were just as bad, actually worse in many ways, than they are now. It's just that the media and the general population wasn't aware of them.

Fast forward to now, and so much has changed. In some ways the problems are getting better - health care, legal protections, public awareness, the willingness of so many, celebrities and regular folks, to come out publicly. But that has brought more problems. That old saying of "be careful what you wish for" seems appropriate. But we can't and won't go backward, and we will get through these times and come out stronger and better off. It is a battle worth fighting.

But with every battle, there is fear to battle, as well. I feel it. People I talk with feel it. It is not easily dismissed. And yet, we can;t let it consume us and drive us back into the closet. That isn't the way to solve this problem. What I've said for a long time still applies; what will win hearts and minds is for non-trans folk to meet and to know us as people, as neighbors, friends, co-workers and family. That is the surest path towards acceptance, when cis-gen people see us as human beings worthy of respect. Every time one of us transitions, we become an ambassador for the community, whether we want to or not.

I had a talk with my wife last night, after watching the news. I am working on something that will put my name out there more publicly, and I wanted to share my fears about backlash, harassment and nastiness. She had been thinking the same things. I have ways of protecting myself and my family, but we all know it could get ugly. We're ready for whatever happens, and we will not be cowed into silence. But she didn't ask for any of this. Things are going to get interesting.

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Kenna Dixon]

I share your concern regarding the direction in which this might go.

One troubling element is that the supposed "danger" of having transgender people in restrooms and women's locker rooms is generating a reaction from bigots that their wives and daughters need to be protected from the threat.

Never underestimate the determination of simple-minded men with tempers, weapons and a God-given mission.

[Guest Mia J]

I would like nothing more than to just continue to live my life quietly as who I am. I have never had a problem anywhere out in public but I do fear that someone may notice something about me and cause an issue that I don't feel I need to deal with. I know that at some point the religious right and their supporting politicians will pick on someone else and just try to weather it out best I can.

Mia

[StephanieVikingGirl]

Yep, every shift towards freedom and rights is always opposed by a conservative backlash. When I was growing up in Maryland during the sixties and seventies, the backlash was severe. Much more dangerous and frightening times since the haters were in the majority. Nixon and the Dixie crats (who had left the Democratic party en masse to create the new party of hate) were supported by a majority in this country back then. I bear mental and physical scars from that frightening time.

I am hoping that in November we discover that only 25% of the country support hate. I pray that we do indeed have a big enough majority to keep the haters from stealing the election. Why is it that would be dictators always have some kind of weird looking style, whether it be a short mustache or a bad comb over, same kinda weirdo wannabe attracting the haters for support?

I have traveled extensively in Europe, and learned that the folks there still have a bad taste in their mouths left over from the last weirdo who ruined so much of the mid twentieth century, and they certainly don't wanna see another weirdo take power over here.

Alex and I have our voting cards ready, we will do our part to save our country from orange hair. I feel guardedly optimistic that the GOP is about the lose big time in the general election.

We recently went on a trip out of state and used both Nevada, and Arizona rest rooms, so far that is as far as we have been out of the safety of California. This bathroom issue is just plain ridiculous IMHO. Still, as I said, I believe that we and our friends outnumber the haters this time around (I think and pray at least). Just my two cents worth.

hugs,

Stephanie

Stephanie

[Jani]

Thanks fore bringing those past times back to memory. I didn't grow up in the South but did travel there when I was younger. These are scary times for the country as well as any minority. I know these issues have sorted themselves out in the past and hope this one will too, and the sooner than later.

Jani

[Cyndee]

Gender expression is protected free speech as much as our opponents would like to forget.

Here are some compelling reasons why conservatives will most likely fail, ironically fear it's self, is one tactic they have tried to use before, it failed and they know it....

http://religionnews.com/2016/05/14/3-reasons-conservative-christians-will-lose-the-transgender-debate/

[Carolyn Marie]

Good piece, Cyndi. Very well thought out and rational. Thanks for sharing it.

Carolyn Marie

[Charlize]

There is so little i can do about the battle that is taking place now. I will vote. i will campaign for the democratic candidate and contribute what i can.

I will speak out to those who have ears to hear. Other than that i have to accept and cope with the distress that the controversy is causing. I have been dealing with coping with my gender issues all my life. I thought that transition would bring peace and it mostly has. I have to let these attacks on the trans* community fall to the background and just try to get on. Otherwise they win and i loose my peace. In a perfect world that simply wouldn't happen. Pity things aren't perfect.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Cyndee]

What I've said for a long time still applies; what will win hearts and minds is for non-trans folk to meet and to know us as people, as neighbors, friends, co-workers and family. That is the surest path towards acceptance, when cis-gen people see us as human beings worthy of respect. Every time one of us transitions, we become an ambassador for the community, whether we want to or not.

Carolyn Marie

I could not agree more with Carolyn's assertion above, even though I am no social warrior, all of us have the power to make a difference.

We all can be simply decent human beings even in the face of this overwhelming negative rhetoric. Now more than ever being out seen in the neighborhood, or a church, or volunteering, or helping out, can make a real difference in perceptions.

I like to practice small random acts of kindness for example, the rewards are many fold.

And like Charlize, I will vote, I also support organizations that educate people on our causes right here, right now.

[Guest LesleyAnne]

Love your enemies, it will drive them crazy!

And Vote, Please!

[Guest Kenna Dixon]

I'll turn 75 in a few weeks and I grew up in the Deep South, so I've been witness to the struggle for equality on many fronts.

Significant battles have been won, thanks to the dedication and sacrifice of a great many people. And yet, despite all of that, we have people in the United States who are no less bigoted and hateful than those who manned the barricades of willful ignorance in the past. Many aren't even old enough to have been alive then, but we have heard their rhetoric before and their targets are the same as those of their predecessors.

It's fruitless to fight these people. Doing so only gives them an opportunity to spout their nonsense to the “amen corner” we find wherever there's an opportunity for online discourse on the subject, and you will certainly not change their minds. They may appear to be large in number, but that's only because those of their ilk are more likely to post comments and gravitate to where they're likely to find others who will support their vacuous statements.

As many have said, the wiser course is to interact only with those who are likely to understand and be supportive. Those of us who are fortunate enough to do so quickly learn that most people are at least willing to learn and will accept change more readily when it's presented to them in human form.

The others, with their paranoiac fear of agendas, brainwashing, indoctrination, “gay mafia”, “libs” and the end of the world as we know it, are not worthy of our time or effort. They will always be with us, devoid of compassion and distorting both religion and common sense to match their grotesque views of how life should be.

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

As a person who has used the bathroom in all of the lower 48 states (and Canada), in my experience, I've never had a problem anywhere. Now that could be due to passing privilege, my height, or because people don't suspect highway rest areas or truck stops as places where they would encounter a transgender person. They're busy watching bathroom entrances at malls, Target, Walmart, etc. but I think their guard is down when they're traveling or out of state.

I was a little nervous using the bathroom in NC a few weeks ago but it ended up being just like everywhere else. Go in, do your business, leave.

This afternoon I was in Kentucky, at a Denny's, right after church let out. The place was packed. It didn't dawn on me until half way through my second cup of coffee that I'm probably surrounded by people who have no idea I'm transgender because they're expecting some hideously stereotypical depiction instead of this rather tall lady who looks and dresses, dare I say, kind of normal and average. It's like the bathroom issue: most women have shared a bathroom with a transgender person before but simply had no clue because that person looked, well, normal and average. I'm sure these people had no idea I was trans because, I don't look like how they expect me to look. ("dress to blend in" has helped me a lot during RLE)

I think that's how we'll win hearts is just by showing people we're not that hideous stereotype image people make us out to be. We're just....normal and average harmless people.

[gennee]

A lot of people wouldn't know a transgender if one was standing next to them.

[Guest AshleighP]

Good comments and insights. These are scary times of many reasons. In my home, we don't talk about it. My wife is a conservative Christian who falls on the side of allowing transgender PEOPLE into the rest room of their gender indentity, to be wrong. I, being transgender and Christian can see why that opinion is not only wrong, but dangerous for the transgender person.

Too many horror stories are being spread around about alleged attacks in ladies rooms by people pending to be transgender. I haven't heard any about transgender people being accosted in men's rooms, a very real possibility in my opinion.

I very much appreciated Lizzie's post. If people would quit stereotyping and let others live their lives as they choose, the world be a happier, safer place.

[MarcieMarie12]

Gennee, I have anecdote on that: I was trying on dresses in JC Penny's. No harm, no issue, walked into the ladies dressing room tried on my first dress. Called my friend (also trans) in and she got accosted by the attendant. The attendant didn't bat an eyelash at me and my friend, she is pretty much passable except voice (she didn't speak before coming in). Attendant didn't have any clue that I was trans.

My friend got out her drivers license and flashed that F in front of the attendant. Got a non-apology apology. She did e-mail to JC Penny about the incident and did get a "We'll look into it, sorry it happened, and we will try to do better.