Advice On Pros

[Guest Angela-H]

good morning... what should I do to accept ppl as friends? I mean its hard for me to trust ppl but I really havn't trusted anyone. This trust issue I have is vary annoying. It interfears with my everyday activity's. and I need to learn how to Trust again. any sugestions. ,

[CharlotteW]

Being burnt hurts. There's no denying it. But trust me, you do not want to be alone permaently. What I've found is that I find it much easier to like and trust people, now that I like myself. Work on yourself, and proceed with caution, and if neccessary, examine if you are attracted (romanticly or not) to people who are prone to hurting you (this is self destructive, but depressingly common). But always be prepared to be a friend, and give of yourself; that will endear good people to you more than any well turned phrase or round of beer.

[Guest Sofiadragon]

I am in a simular point in my life @ this very moment, it isn't an easy thing to deal w/ the first big step that I took was I let a few people in my life & made sure that I expected nothing out of it one way or the other & that was the first step that I took & thus far things have been going well for me I have been married for 3 years I have a 2 year old son & I am close to getting on HRT all I need to know is when I need to set up the appointment w/ the endo & then I am good to go, PM me if you would like to talk more.

[Guest ~Brenda~]

good morning... what should I do to accept ppl as friends? I mean its hard for me to trust ppl but I really havn't trusted anyone. This trust issue I have is vary annoying. It interfears with my everyday activity's. and I need to learn how to Trust again. any sugestions. ,

Dear Angela,

Although we all have trust issues with other people because of our past or other trajedies in our life, we must not try to forget that others have given their trust in us. Think about at some point in you life when someone confided in you, maybe a simple secret, but the trust was there. Remember when you were looked at to help, even in the smallest way, others trusted you to help. To start trusting people starts with trusting one person. As a first step, you can trust us. In fact, you clearly trust us, otherwise you would not have posted here!! You are already trusting other people!! Be loving towards other people. They will trust you, and in turn, you will be able to trust them.

Angela dear... allow others to trust you... you will then find trustworthy people.

LOL

bernii

[Guest Leigh]

i have to agree with charlotte. examine what type of people you are drawn to...but also, maybe you should talk to a therapist. i have had some serious trust issues myself, and nothing helps like talking in confidence to a trained professional.

please let us know if you have any other concerns.

peace&love

[Guest julia_d]

Best advice I can give is take your time. I'm a great believer in the old "trust no-one" from the X-Files.. After 7 years living in this town I can count the people I trust and who know where I live on the fingers of one hand. That probably sounds bad, but I found it to be the safest option.

In the past I was very open with people.. I was too easy to trust and it only led to betrayal and hurt, so in the end I looked inside myself and found the inner strength to realise that I'm alone in the world and the only person I can truly rely on is me. I have a circle of people I treat on a very professional kind of personal basis. I don't let them inside my world.. I don't socialise with them any more than I can help, and then only ever on my terms. I prefer to be in places where I'm known in passing to a couple of people.. but no more than in passing. They are associates and acquaintances.. not friends.

Maybe this is a result of having no living family and always being an outcast?.. I don't know but it works for me and has for the last 10 years.

Soooo.. just be yourself.. you are under no obligation to tell anybody your secrets and desires.. no requirement to share anything with anybody. There is no need to make friends with everybody you meet, no need at all. You will find people who will not question that you are just yourself and over time a mutual trust will come. Those are the ones worth taking some time with. You will know who they are.. the rest keep at arms length XD