Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

newbie here. Good evening to everyone!


Ty inCt

Recommended Posts

Hi My name is Ty I am 56 years old and I have finally come to grips with my sexuality. This is the first time I am putting this in words but, I am gay.

I was married for 23 years and have awesome grown kids whom are my whole world. I have been divorced now for 5 years and at first I was lost. My ex wife woke one day remembering being molested as a child and it was like flipping a switch. She had what her doctor called a PTSD melt down.

She just changed into a different person. I tried to help her but couldn't. I was going through rough recovering from a failed Discectomy/fusion with plates and screw in my back and i was on a lot of meds at the time. I understand what she went through but didnt know what to do. She left me and I was actually really heart broken. I was in a deep depression and felt guilty for not being able to help her. I went to Colorado and just gave up on life. I was actually homeless for a couple of years, lived in a tent and ate at the soup kitchen. Kinda in a daze there.. That's the only way I can describe it.

I had always done a fair amount of fantasizing about men. I also have been a part time CD for most of my life. I kind of thought it was all just sexual fantasy. After my divorce I started to realize more and more that I thought about guys differently than most other guys do, that being in womans clothing really made me feel good. I put hours and hours into thinking about my past life and the things that pointed to me being a woman in a man's body and the choices I made to ignore it.

Two years ago my babies started having babies! I have three awesome granddaughters I love dearly. One day I woke up and just said, 'what the heck am I doing here?'

I got back on my feet and moved back to my home state. I now live with my oldest daughter, her husband and my Grandchild. I really love it here and have been reborn by the love of my family..

In about the last 6 months I have decided I am not attracted to woman. I like woman, but not like most men. IDK

So, i have come to the decision I am going to try and become transsexual. I don't ever see myself being able to afford an operation but I know I will definitely feel more who I am suppose to be living my life as a woman, with a feminine body.

So basicly I am here to learn what I need to to make this transition as smooth as I can. I still need to level with those I love which maybe the hardest obstacle I have left to face. I also need to learn how to become a woman healthily. I need to become comfortable with my femininity enough to eventually find a nice man thats ok with who I am. I have my family but need to be close to someone.

I hope everyone has a great evening and i will enjoy it here. I have enjoy what I have read so far! <3

Link to comment
  • Root Admin

Hello Ty,

Welcome to Laura's Playground. :) Thank you for sharing your story with us.

MaryEllen

Link to comment
  • Root Admin

Have you considered counseling with a gender therapist?

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Welcome Ty. You'll find a great deal of information here as you find a path. I certainly meant a great deal to me to share and read. I wasn't alone and just knowing that was a great feeling.

Hugs,

Charlize

Link to comment

Have you considered counseling with a gender therapist?

I didnt even realize there was such a thing 'till coming here! lol The fact that I have access to one here is just awesome. I may just go that route..

Link to comment

Hello Ty and Welcome :) This site has lots of good info and awesome people to meet and to chat with :)

Thank Sara! I have been cruising the forums but really need to dig in and read! I am so happy to be able to me good people that are going through, or gone through already, what I am!! :)

Link to comment

Welcome Ty. You'll find a great deal of information here as you find a path. I certainly meant a great deal to me to share and read. I wasn't alone and just knowing that was a great feeling.

Hugs,

Thank you Charlize! I am so happy there is a place I can feel comfortable. Of course its also really nice not being alone in ths and having people that understand and are willing to give thier input! Yay!!

Link to comment

Hi Ty

Welcome :)

Tracy x

Thank you very much Tracy! So nice to get such a great welcome! :)

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Hi Ty,

Welcome to Laura's. Lot's of experience and compassion here to partake of. Lot's of people here who understand what we go through. We don't have to go through this alone anymore! When I first came to the acceptance that I am trans, I found all the information on the subject I could and learned as much as I could about it. It helped with coming to understand and accept what I am a lot more than I could have otherwise. Our journey begins as a journey of self discovery. May our journey's lead us to where we want to be!?

Lots of love and a big welcome hug,

Timber Wolf?

Link to comment

Hi Ty,

Welcome to Laura's. Lot's of experience and compassion here to partake of. Lot's of people here who understand what we go through. We don't have to go through this alone anymore! When I first came to the acceptance that I am trans, I found all the information on the subject I could and learned as much as I could about it. It helped with coming to understand and accept what I am a lot more than I could have otherwise. Our journey begins as a journey of self discovery. May our journey's lead us to where we want to be!

Lots of love and a big welcome hug,

Timber Wolf

Thank you so much Timber Wolf! I am finding the info here invaluable! It so nice to be somewhere that I feel I might actually fit in. Big Hug back at you Hun.

Link to comment
Guest KerryUK

Hi Ty,

Welcome to the Site.

May I make a recommendation for you when you are looking around for information? Pay particular attention to the differences between Gender and Sexuality. They are different but often confused. The reason I say this is that you say that you are Gay and that you would like to become Transsexual - the way you have written this, I would say that you definitely should discuss with a Gender Therapist.

Just a point and not meant to be offensive Ty.

Link to comment
Guest Alicia Rose

Hello, Ty! Thanks for sharing your story and being so open.

I'm really happy that you're living with your loving family and things are improving. Understandably you have much on your mind, and it's great you've joined to be here.

In the last six months you've decided you're not attracted to women. Perhaps, within that time you've discovered you're as attracted to woman as you previously thought. I'm sure you know, but attraction isn't a choice. You may have always been attracted to men and didn't notice or just ignored that, believing otherwise. A lot of people suppress these types of feelings from fear or by not understanding or behaving like others thinking that's how they should be.

Transgender is a medical condition for when someone who identifies as the opposite gender from which they were assigned at birth. I am a woman, but was born male. I'm Transgender. Personally, I am attracted to men, which makes me by definition 'straight'. Being Trans* (much like sexuality, which is based on sex, not gender) is not a choice. If you believe you're Transgender (Male-to-Female), then it may not be accurate to call yourself a cross-dresser or Gay (unless you're attracted to the same gender, which would be Female). Make sense?

I understand that you've probably had a lot on your mind in the last several months and I'm glad you've joined these forums which exists to help others.

You don't have to answer, but here are some questions to ask yourself:

Do you feel like a man that enjoys wearing female clothing? (Cross-Dresser)

Do you feel like a woman, trapped in the wrong body? (Transgender)

Are you attracted to the opposite sex (i.e. male attracted to female)? (Straight)

Are you attracted to the same sex (i.e. female to female)? (Gay)

Regardless on how you feel, if possible, you should look into finding a therapist. They can help you with a lot of things, from transitioning, to helping you understand yourself or answering questions you may have. You can also ask us on these forums if you have questions, without worry of being judged. I promise!

Thanks for sharing, again. :)

Link to comment

Hi Ty,

Welcome to the Site.

May I make a recommendation for you when you are looking around for information? Pay particular attention to the differences between Gender and Sexuality. They are different but often confused. The reason I say this is that you say that you are Gay and that you would like to become Transsexual - the way you have written this, I would say that you definitely should discuss with a Gender Therapist.

Just a point and not meant to be offensive Ty.

i see your point. I would love to go all the way and someday get the operation but I know I will never be able to pull that off. i will identify as a woman eventually but right now I am way too masculine for my own liking. I guess I feel gay beacause of my attraction to men. I should have been more careful and worded it better. No offense meant to anyone! :)

Link to comment

Hello, Ty! Thanks for sharing your story and being so open.

I'm really happy that you're living with your loving family and things are improving. Understandably you have much on your mind, and it's great you've joined to be here.

In the last six months you've decided you're not attracted to women. Perhaps, within that time you've discovered you're as attracted to woman as you previously thought. I'm sure you know, but attraction isn't a choice. You may have always been attracted to men and didn't notice or just ignored that, believing otherwise. A lot of people suppress these types of feelings from fear or by not understanding or behaving like others thinking that's how they should be.

Transgender is a medical condition for when someone who identifies as the opposite gender from which they were assigned at birth. I am a woman, but was born male. I'm Transgender. Personally, I am attracted to men, which makes me by definition 'straight'. Being Trans* (much like sexuality, which is based on sex, not gender) is not a choice. If you believe you're Transgender (Male-to-Female), then it may not be accurate to call yourself a cross-dresser or Gay (unless you're attracted to the same gender, which would be Female). Make sense?

I understand that you've probably had a lot on your mind in the last several months and I'm glad you've joined these forums which exists to help others.

You don't have to answer, but here are some questions to ask yourself:

Do you feel like a man that enjoys wearing female clothing? (Cross-Dresser)

Do you feel like a woman, trapped in the wrong body? (Transgender)

Are you attracted to the opposite sex (i.e. male attracted to female)? (Straight)

Are you attracted to the same sex (i.e. female to female)? (Gay)

Regardless on how you feel, if possible, you should look into finding a therapist. They can help you with a lot of things, from transitioning, to helping you understand yourself or answering questions you may have. You can also ask us on these forums if you have questions, without worry of being judged. I promise!

Thanks for sharing, again. :)

I would have to say I am a woman trapped in a man's body. Until recently I was blocking it I think. Thanks for explaining this for me Dear. I just need to get past feeling like my current body makes me a man.

Link to comment

Hello Ty and welcome to Laura's. Thank you for sharing your story. I'm happy that you reconnected with your family.

:)

Link to comment

Hello Ty and welcome to Laura's. Thank you for sharing your story. I'm happy that you reconnected with your family.

:)

Tnx so much Genee! love it here already.

Link to comment
Guest AshleighP

Hello and welcome! You will find acceptance and support here in abundance. Ask questions, read the forums, and enjoy yourself. I looked forward to reading about your journey and your adventures along the way!

Link to comment

Hello and welcome! You will find acceptance and support here in abundance. Ask questions, read the forums, and enjoy yourself. I looked forward to reading about your journey and your adventures along the way!

Thank you Ashlieigh! I have learned so much here already and I will start posting when i have some news.. <3

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   5 Members, 0 Anonymous, 71 Guests (See full list)

    • Curious-star
    • Sam adams
    • Mikayla2024
    • Desert Fox
    • Carolyn Marie
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.9k
    • Total Posts
      771.2k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,159
    • Most Online
      8,356

    katheryn
    Newest Member
    katheryn
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Froggiesprog
      Froggiesprog
      (20 years old)
    2. Kara Zor-El
      Kara Zor-El
      (41 years old)
    3. LaurenMichelle
      LaurenMichelle
    4. Liana
      Liana
      (53 years old)
    5. Murph90
      Murph90
      (34 years old)
  • Posts

    • Davie
      This is what Adele says to haters of Pride: https://x.com/PopBase/status/1797119887976128863 Yay, Adele!
    • Adrianna Danielle
      It has been good so far.I went to church this morning,one my boyfriend is a member of.I am the first open transgender member member there.Have been accepted in since I became a member.A young man wanted a picture of us taken together and his mom took it.He is about 15 or 16 years old and I am the first transgender person he has met
    • Ivy
      I live in a rural area, and we actually do have Democrats here. I also see the division being pushed by the "right' as well as the "left."  It seems so stupid. I'm going to shut up now.  Have a great pride month, Y'all.
    • Ivy
      I do think trans women have more visibility, and perhaps more resistance due to the ingrained misogyny in our culture - as Carolyn Marie has said.  Having said that, I have gotten to know a trans man in the past year, and his struggles have been real as well - including feeling threatened in situations. As for passing, testosterone is pretty effective.  The voice changes and facial hair do make it easier to pass for many.  Not many people will question a man with a beard's gender*.  Once you are able to get the HRT I think you will be pleased with the results.  Hang in there.   *I let my beard grow out for years to "prove" to myself and others that I was a "man" but it didn't really work very well, did it.
    • Ivy
      Well…  I hope everything goes well.  I guess she's familiar with the process by now.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Being a drag performer is THAT lucrative a job opportunity? In Idaho?  $926k is equivalent to 18 years' pay for an average worker in that state.   I understand that attorney fees can run pretty high, though.  
    • Carolyn Marie
      @NoEli6, I completely understand where you're coming from, and I sympathize with you.  Yes, I believe it is true that trans men get shortchanged when it comes to recognition of your numbers in the world, the attention paid by the MSM, as well as the trans community and academia.  I also think that is changing, based on the number of articles I see in my news feed.  There are also many more articles on research papers concerning HRT and other issues facing trans men.   So it is understandable that many in our community downplay the struggles trans men go through.  I do think that trans women face a more dangerous world than trans men, and for the same reasons that cis women face more dangers than cis men.  All one needs to do is look at the statistics on the murder and assaults of trans women.  That said, trans men do also face dangers out there in the world, and I don't discount that at all.  There was a much loved trans man on this site years ago whose own father shot him when he was about your age.  So yeah, I do understand your fears.  They are real and justified.   As @Charlizesaid, your time will come and things will get better for you.  We see you, we cherish you, and we respect your feelings.  You are welcome here.   HUGS   Carolyn Marie
    • Sally Stone
      I asked myself this very thing many times through the years.  Ultimately, I realized these feelings were being heavily influenced by the concept of gender needing to be singular.  I guess the strong influence makes sense, since it has been so ingrained into our society.  I found the will to reject the concept, though, because it wasn't right for me.  Doing so, allowed me to be at peace with my bi-gender nature.     
    • VickySGV
      @KathyLauren This is how the jurors broke down the award:     Being labeled as a molester and sexual pervert can and has done that much actual damage in terms of repair of the damage through a wide variety of means including legal fees and loss of livelihood in any job or profession.  As this said the idea of "reckless disregard for the truth" means that the performer was able to show a level of damage that will affect him now and in the future.  The $900K+ figure was a matter of real evidence of the damage. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Well, it has been an interesting morning.  I stayed home from service to take care of a partner.  She's the youngest of us, and I'm usually not her first choice for affection.  But this morning she curled up in my lap right before breakfast, and told me she was feeling ill.  And then threw up on me about 30 seconds later....   I guess the smell of the food is what did it, poor thing.  On a hunch, she took a pregnancy test and.... yep.    She's been married to our husband for 10 years, and this will be her 6th, so I'm happy for her.  We took a shower and she got back in our nest to sleep some more, which is probably the best medicine of all.  Maybe she'll feel better this afternoon. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Article said $250,000 of it was "punitive."  To me, seems like the whole thing was punitive...which I don't think is appropriate at all. 
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Biden himself is driving that "divisive wedge."  Could have done without the anti-gun garbage in his statement....it makes it seem like all LGBTQ+ folks agree with their agenda.  Which simply isn't true, and makes life difficult (and unsafe) for those of us who prefer to live in rural (and non-Democrat) areas.  Pride month would be happier for many (and more socially accepted) if it could somehow be separated from ancillary political issues. 
    • KathyLauren
      I haven't seen the ruling, but it is unlikely that the entire amount was for actual damages.  The majority was likely punitive, as it should be.
    • awkward-yet-sweet
      Unless somehow this caused a million dollars worth of damage to somebody's livelihood or life, the amount of this judgement seems excessive.  Not something I would call "uplifting" or anything to be pleased about. 
    • Davie
      Thanks so much, @Ivy Good to hear good sense about this. —Davie
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...