Work issues

[Guest Beautiful inside]

So I have worked at my job for 7 years. I'm 27 years old btw. I recently came out to hr because some of the changes from hrt are starting to be noticed like "hey what's with the boobs man". So my boss who doesn't know or atleast I don't think he does. Constantly makes transgender jokes and says those freaks need to figure out what they were born as. Or. Our great country is going down hill like Bruce Jenner is going down on guys now. Freak. Nothing has been said to me directly but it's gotten to a point where I don't want to come to work. I went to hr with everything written down. Times dates and what was said. They said they would look into it. I found out to day they talked to my boss and just said to please be calm the jokes down some. But told him I complained!! So now he makes jokes about how someone needs a new tampon for their vagina because they got their feelings hurt. Pussys. I just want to quit but can't afford too. I feel like it's so hostile here and nobody cares.

[MaryEllen]

Keep recording these incidents and take it to the higher ups if you want to push it. You shouldn't have to take their crap. You might want to consider changing jobs. There's a good chance they'll make it so miserable for you, you'll have to quit. Either that or they'll find some excuse to fire you. Unfortunately, that's the reality of the real world.

MaryEllen

[Cyndee]

I am no lawyer, however I believe OH is a state with no labor protections for this type of behavior against someone's gender identity or expression. There might be some federal protection or a company policy that helps, but don't count on it. OH gets low marks on equality overall, not a very friendly place to transition (legally).

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT_rights_in_Ohio

Like ME suggests, they can legally discriminate on the basis of a gender expression in OH which really sucks, this sounds like plain old harassment and it's legal in OH ! Unfortunately a sad reality of the world, even in the 21st century.

Might be time to start looking (perhaps in another state ?)....

Sympathy and Hugs

Cyndi -

[Guest Clair Dufour]

Ohio is not the best place but their are other options. Is small local company or a large one that operates in several states? Large national companies usualy follow the rules of the most regulated state. Some local cities have ordinances and most states address harassment of all workers. Contact a local LGBT they know people who know all the ins and outs of it. Don't come out to them any more and let HR take it in the neck if they release private health information. These guys are idiots but if you have to say something tell them you have health issues and it none of their business.

[Charlize]

I would look around for sure but at the same time if Clinton wins and is able to get a democratic majority in either or both houses of congress you may well see national legislation expanding the protections of the equal rights amendment to the LGBT community.

Some locals and certainly some individuals will never be fully accepting but federal legislation does give us a chance for protection.

Unfortunately there are bullies on every playground (except Laura's). They just need a bigger power to send them to the corner with a well deserved dunce cap.

Hugs,

Charlize

[Guest Alicia Rose]

While it seems OH may not have better protection laws, it could also depend on where you work. I'm not asking, but if you work for a company you should investigate their LGBTQ/Trans stance. Like myself, I work for a Super Target and we know how supportive Target is. Discrimination I may face there once I start going full time likely won't last very long. Hopefully your workplace can better support you or while you do have that job, try looking for something better. Before it becomes too much and you just quit..

I'm sorry you have to deal with that but hope you can find something better! Stay strong.

[Guest LesleyAnne]

So sorry to hear about your difficulties at your place of employment. Clair Dufour gave a great idea to try, which is contact your local LGBT group, like PFLAG or http://www.transequality.org

Sad to say but unfortunately you are feeling the lack of protections from a state that protects companies, and ignoramus's like your boss!

IMHO by HR telling your boss who it was that complained, they in effect threw you under the bus. They know that your boss will continue to make it uncomfortable for you, and push you into quitting. If you do quit, they've accomplished getting rid of the burr under their saddle (you). You will just go away quietly leaving barely a ripple.

I had a good friend that was the head of HR who always preached to his staff to get rid of their problem personnel by doing what ever it takes legally in order to keep from involving the lawyers . So they will do all the legal things they can to keep it out of court.

There used to be a time when HR was an acronym for "Human Relations"Department which implicated a caring entity between the company, and its employees.

It's now the "Human Resources" Department.

[Briana]

Greetings from a new member! I read this and couldn't help but respond - I have steam coming out of my ears and blood red eyes. Neither goes well with my ear rings and eye shadow. ;-)

I'm reading/seeing what you're going through from the perspective of many years of senior leadership. Both state and federal laws apply here. This really wouldn't be seen as "discrimination based on gender expression." This is plain 'ol harassment/creating a hostile work environment for you, and your coworkers. Regardless of the state, there's LOTs of protection at the state and federal levels for this.

While we're not privy to what exactly was said to you boss by HR, it sounds like they gave him some real bad advice. ...Very bad. Also bad for the company. When you came to HR with your complaint, their job was to investigate, determine if there was general harassment and/or the creation of a hostile work environment, and take action. Based on what you described as well as documented, they should have told him to TOTALLY cease and desist with all forms of jokes etc. that can make people uncomfortable. Makes for a pretty sterile work environment, but it's truly best that way.

In addition, they should have told him that he can not retaliate in any way. He can't fire you or threaten you with firing, he can't lower your review ratings, he can't give you all the crappy shifts or jobs, he can't exclude you from things that you wouldn't normally be excluded from otherwise, he can't transfer you unless you request it etc. All of that is retaliation and I've seen it make a few people on the receiving end of it in turn receive large sums of money. Generally, when this kind of complaint comes in, the offending manager is usually put through a 2-4 hour sensitivity training class and given very clear instructions on retaliation and what they can/can not do going forward. If the manage continues, oh dear... Most respectable (and smart) companies will usually do one of two things; bust them down to staff level with clear instructions to cut it out or else. Or, to protect the company from the liability the manager has caused, they'll fire them. Harassment/hostile work environment lawsuits can get very expensive and there's a plethora of lawyers out there just salivating for the next case.

Keep documenting; that's very important. Note what was said, date & time, and who was in earshot. If you really want to press this, after you have a few more instances documented, you should go to HR and say the "hostile work environment continues" and that "I feel very uncomfortable coming to work now because of how his inappropriate comments make me feel" and that "he's retaliating against me because I complained about constant hostile comments and jokes." Look up workplace harassment and hostile work environment. There are key words coming from you that HR should be listening for and taking some pretty strong action against your boss.

I don't know how far you want to pursue and press this. Personally, I wouldn't give in and let them "win". Your case is pretty blatant based on what you've shared so far. I'd be surprised if your HR dept let this go past a second complaint without totally coming down on the offending manager. Hopefully they'll wake up and put an end to it so you can continue until you find something better. Honestly, the best thing that they could do for you is fire you. May not seem like it but odds are there would be a shiny silver lining at the end. Barring you doing something totally negligent that would get anyone fired, firing someone after they've made a harassment and hostile work environment complaint can be the the kiss of death to a company. I know...I've sat in the court room and/or arbitrators office wayyyy too many times because of dumb managers and poorly run & trained HR departments.

[Cyndee]

Thanks Briana for chiming in here !

[Guest KerryUK]

Hi Briana,

On behalf of everyone on this site, I just wanted to say thanks very much for taking the time to write a very informative post. Wonderful.

[sarahlash]

Hey,

I will totally understand your situation, because it was the reason I left my last job. And your state sounds very similar to North Carolina about not being very supportive of transgender rights, then your best in my opinion is to find a different company to work for. I know people will say that one should go to HR again, but I feel that if the HR failed to handle your situation correctly the first time. Then how are you sure that they will handle it correctly the second, third, or etc? Hope your able to find a solution.

[Briana]

Sara has a good point. It's very difficult to work where you're not wanted or in a hostile uncomfortable environment. Just depends on how much you want to fight it. This sounds like a case where I'd personally push till they did something really stupid dumb, or I had taken all the appropriate steps and then I'd persue it externally.

Briana