When Passing Is Not Really What I Needed --

[VickySGV]

Last Friday I went to a Dress Rehearsal of a small theater show where two friends I met last month at the LGBT music festival in Denver were singing a duet.  They are a very nice lesbian married couple and a total kick to pal around with as we did back at the festival.  The show was not part of their Chorus work, but a couple more people from it were in the cast as well doing spoken lines.  In addition to the four of them, there was also a young female cello player who was doing a marvelous job even in the almost microscopic theater.  The four lesbian friends invited me and the cellist for a late dinner / snack at a restaurant next door to the theater.  So, six of us went in to the restaurant after the cellist had stowed her instrument.  I had assumed the cellist was another younger lesbian friend of theirs, although she was obviously not as comfortable going in there as the other four were.  I had not been outed to her as Trans* which in a few minutes became a punch-line of sorts, since the other four knew me. 

It turned out the cellist was a Trans* woman who was going to do this show as her first time out as her True Self, and this was her first time going to dinner with a bunch of women.  She had felt OK  on stage but her nerves were a bit frazzled.  The other four were congratulating her on both performance and her outfit and make-up.  That went OK, but then I opened my mouth about her being out for the first time. I don't remember exactly what I said, but it was something I would happily say to a new "sister" coming out.  I was trying to be reassuring, but her almost HOT comment to me was that I "could not know what it was like, only another Trans* person could know that.!!"

My two friends who invited me along, literally sprayed their soft drinks out at that point with laughing.  Luckily no one else got hit.  The poor young girl was about to run out the door in tears when I got my voice back to tell her that I was a fully out, full time Trans* woman for over 5 years by now and while my first time out had not been after I played a musical instrument as well as she did that night yes I do know and remember what it is like for Trans* folk to be fully out at last. She did cry for a moment or two, and one of the other women escorted her to the Women's rest room for a make-up repair.  She came back with both smile and more confidence and we hugged, and then dug into some dinner.

What does that tell me about where I am these days??  Life does change.  Both the girl and I had made some goofs about reading each other, but my other new friends are great as well.

[Charlize]

What a great story Vicky with a happy ending or should i say beginning for at least one of you.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[tracy_j]

It's incidents like this that make life both interesting and rewarding.

Thank you for sharing Vicky

Tracy x

 

[DaHudie Biz]

Thanks! Great story. Makes you think twice about judging others. I need to take note of it.

[Cindy Truheart]

I will be moving to Denver soon and I hope to meet you one day, you are kind of becoming one of my heroes....