Oh, the places you'll "go"

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

Can we talk about bathrooms for a second?

No, I'm not talking about politics, or Target, or any of that. I'm talking about the actual bathroom itself, particularly the women's bathroom.

What's the deal with some of these places we go and the stall itself barely has enough room to maneuver in? I mean seriously, I stopped at this one place in Florida and the bathroom stall was so tiny (how tiny was it Liz?). It was so tiny that the door wouldn't even open all the way because the toilet was in the way. I had to literally squeeze between the door and the wall to get inside and once I was done, squeeze my way back out to wash my hands. I'm not even exaggerating!

Another place, in Tennessee I think, I sat down and my knees were practically up against the stall door.

I mean, seriously, who designed these bathrooms? And could I meet the size of woman these stalls were designed for? It's ridiculous!

I tell ya one thing, it makes me really appreciate those stalls that you can take two steps in and have enough clearance to turn around and close the door. Heck there's one place out in Pennsylvania where the bathrooms are so big there's room inside each stall for a little corner table and you could practically walk laps in there it's so spacious. Oh, I stretched my legs, I spread out, heck I practically did yoga in there it was so spacious. I even mentioned it in an online review on FourSquare about how spacious the bathroom was. (that's true, btw, you can look it up and read it)

Getting back on subject, did the person drawing up the floor plan lay out the men's room first and then did the women's bathroom as an after thought? Like "I'm just about done here, whoops! Forgot the women's bathroom. Uh, lets just squeeze it in here. 10 feet? 5 stalls, no problem!" I mean really. And don't even get me started about how some of the toilet paper dispensers are placed. I've been in a few where the dispenser is right at knee level so I have to lean to the right to pull out a square (cheap 1-ply paper doesn't roll out very easily) and then lean back to the left. You almost get seasick from all the rocking back and forth, it's ridiculous!

And what about the brilliant locking mechanisms these things have? Sure in the more modern amenities they have nice ones that slide easily and work properly and are made by a company called "Hiney Hiders" (that's true, that's what it says on the lock. Look for yourself!) Some of these places have half a lock. Some I've had to lift the door up with my foot to get the lock to properly engage. Some have a lock but the turning mechanism on the door is gone so you just move it over with your finger but now your stall also has a little peep hole. So annoying! This one place had half a lock so you slide the little lock over to catch on the side partition and then just firmly press against the door while you do #1 and hope noone tries to push it open because, let's face it, when a woman has to go, we have to go! We're not gingerly opening a door to see if someone is in there, we're busting that door down like the Kool-Aid man because we gotta go bad! (you know what it's like when you've been drinking your 8 glasses of water a day and the spiro kicks in)

Out of curiosity, have you ever tried out the pad/tampon dispenser? They seem to be pretty universal everywhere I've been. The tampon is like your normal cardboard applicator (yow!) Playtex tampon and the maxi pad is......from the 70s. No seriously, they haven't updated the box design since 1972 I think. And the brand name is Gards. Yes, spelled like that. I tell ya one thing, if you go down the feminine hygiene aisle in a store, one thing you will not find is Gards. I think the only reason they're still around is because of these machines. Maybe they've gone out of business but their leftover pad supply was so great that machines for generations to come will be stocked with these relics. 

Just thought I'd mention it. 

P.S. I don't have as much of a rant about the men's room. (it's been years since I've been inside.) I reckon they're still the same: smelly, graffiti, "mostly operational" plumbing, condom dispenser. Oh, some older places have a cologne dispenser. It has a knob for different knock off colognes and you push a plunger and out squirts some scent. It's not breath freshener and don't accidentally spray it in your eyes! (it burns) 

[tracy_j]

I know what you mean Lizzie as they are pretty much the same over here. Sometimes I need to be a contortionist to get in and out of the door as, apart from my hand / shoulder bag I usually carry a Hessian shopping bag which contains my showercoat and unmbrella (as well as shopping) as well. Luckily I am not that big but I do wonder how some women manage.

One thing they usually have thought of is a hook on the back of the door, which is ideal to hold my bag. I don't like putting it on the floor for obvious reasons. Apart from being clean I scan for three things when I enter - Working lock, prescence of paper and then hook on door. I usually carry tissues just in case of emergency though. Having male anatomy, as you may imagine,  I dread finding a lack of lock. It is common for women to reject stalls less than ideal so unlike a man who may well just go ahead, I have noticed that women often will prefer to wait in a queue instead of using a substandard stall. I just follow suit.

Although I seldom use them, it is one good reason for using the disabled persons facillities. As they often have wheelchairs to manoeuver the room is spacious and often cleaner.

Tracy

[Charlize]

Lizzy you crack me up as usual.  Perhaps you should write a tour guide or at least a guide for female long haul truckers with a chapter on the best and worst restrooms.  I was certain that i'd find the ladies nicer than the guys and for the most part that is true but i have also found that women are often just as nasty as guys and also have an aversion to cleaning up after themselves.  Since i'm still equipped to stand i am often so happy to be in a single use facility because i wouldn't sit on that if i had to.  In other locations they have such cute paper covers for the seats which are also so wonderfully clean.  

As to the architects.......we need more female grads doing that work.  The ADA specifies the 5' turning radius for a wheelchair but nobody protects the larger woman.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Ravin]

Lizzy, you're a hoot! i NEEDED a good laugh this morning, thank you!

I mastered the art of the "hover" over a toilet with the seat up long before I switched to the men's room. 

As far as dinky stalls, I think that's usually a result of retrofitting a restroom to be ADA compliant while still keeping code-compliant for total number of toilets. The handicap stalls stole all their extra space from the other stalls. That may be less of an issue in mens' rooms because they can just have more urinals which take up less space because no one expects a stall.

[Briana]

Very funny...and soooo true!  And Charlize, dirty and messy doesn't BEGIN to describe most public women's rooms.  If I hear one more sister complain about guys leaving the seat up, I think I'll...I'll poke 'em.  Ladies, how about flushing once in a while, and not peeing all over while doing the straddle pee, and how about not leaving "used feminine hygiene products" all over???

Public restrooms are really gross in general when you think about it. 

[Guest Emily H]

Excellent post! Insightful and hilarious.

I know you said we weren't discussing Target, but it's hard not to given that I work there. Our stall doors have gaps so huge I hold my hand in front of my crotch- just in case a wandering eye happens to get a good look at what I've got going on. I almost feel as though they shouldn't bother having doors in the stalls...

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

12 minutes ago, Emily H said:

Our stall doors have gaps so huge I hold my hand in front of my crotch- just in case a wandering eye happens to get a good look at what I've got going on.

I seem to do that just out of habit just for a little more modesty and privacy, and then when I stand up to put everything back in place, I turn to the side or around, again, just as an extra precaution.  

[Guest Emily H]

5 minutes ago, Lizzie McTrucker said:

I seem to do that just out of habit just for a little more modesty and privacy, and then when I stand up to put everything back in place, I turn to the side or around, again, just as an extra precaution.  

Yessss, that too! I feel so exposed just standing there trying to shove everything back in place, it is legitimate fear so I usually turn around too. There's a lot of children who come through our bathrooms, and I fear them more than any adult, mainly because kids have no filter and love pointing out interesting things that they happen to see, where as most adults (I assume) just like to pretend they didn't see anything.

I try to use our team member bathrooms in the back of the store since they are single occupancy and are very spacious, so plenty of time and space to adjust myself as needed, but of course I triple-check the door lock because if somebody I work with on a daily basis saw me, I think I'd die.

[tracy_j]

6 hours ago, Emily H said:

Yessss, that too! I feel so exposed just standing there trying to shove everything back in place, it is legitimate fear so I usually turn around too. There's a lot of children who come through our bathrooms, and I fear them more than any adult, mainly because kids have no filter and love pointing out interesting things that they happen to see, where as most adults (I assume) just like to pretend they didn't see anything.

I try to use our team member bathrooms in the back of the store since they are single occupancy and are very spacious, so plenty of time and space to adjust myself as needed, but of course I triple-check the door lock because if somebody I work with on a daily basis saw me, I think I'd die.

I do worry about children at times, especially when things are busy and there is a queue. The are more inquisitive than adults and more likely to blurt things out. Then considering the next thing which is likely - the mother being protective of their offspring and other women coming to her aid, a nasty situation could develop quickly.

That said, I also use children as an indicator to how I look. If things are Ok children take little notice, but tend to stare if not

Tracy

[Guest Emily H]

19 hours ago, tracy_j said:

I do worry about children at times, especially when things are busy and there is a queue. The are more inquisitive than adults and more likely to blurt things out. Then considering the next thing which is likely - the mother being protective of their offspring and other women coming to her aid, a nasty situation could develop quickly.

That said, I also use children as an indicator to how I look. If things are Ok children take little notice, but tend to stare if not

Tracy

Queues are even worse, how could I have forgotten? I tend to avoid looking at anyone at all. I have a huge fear that somebody will challenge me, and that fear is ten fold in locker rooms. It's never happened though. I just pretend to be enamored by the floor/walls/ceiling.

[Guest]

On 09/15/2016 at 5:51 PM, Emily H said:

Excellent post! Insightful and hilarious.

I know you said we weren't discussing Target, but it's hard not to given that I work there. Our stall doors have gaps so huge I hold my hand in front of my crotch- just in case a wandering eye happens to get a good look at what I've got going on. I almost feel as though they shouldn't bother having doors in the stalls...

I won't even speak about the stalls designed for second grade girls,  I  like the big Buick 225 handicap stall!

I like purse hooks that you don't rake your arm on during egress.  Dang that hurts!

I learned early on how to slip my attire down and up just enough for my little miss business to not dampen my day, yet never showing even a pubic hair.  Crossing my hands and appearing to prevent dunking my skirt allowed me to press down on my bit so the sound of the stream was striking the water correctly.

One stressful "gotta go " day post op and since healed, not thinking,  I went into old training mode. I slipped down,  reached to press my bit and promptly peed on my fingers.  Gad! That only needed to happen once.  After I am forever grateful not to have the offending cuss.

I never peer into the cracks,  though I have been eyed.  Being a proper lady has always been met with approval.

My anonymous good deed is leaving it cleaner than I  found it.  Any Mom with young kids is used to wiping up splashed sinks. Some other women look at me strange for doing that,  though one day the act may catch on.  Who knows?

I never used a filthy restroom in Asia,  maybe they know something we don't?

[Guest Lizzie McTrucker]

On 9/16/2016 at 11:12 PM, Emily H said:

I just pretend to be enamored by the floor/walls/ceiling.

"Wow, they even have flowers in here! That's so cool! They don't have flowers in the men's room....so I hear. I mean that's what my boyfriend tells me. I've never been inside one. Nope. Popped out the womb this way, like "hello world, I'm a female" yep, been this way my entire life. I mean female, not a nervous rambler who should probably just stop talking right now. Say, this tile is amazing! I wonder where they bought it because it looks nothing like what I have in my bathroom. Do you have tile in your bathroom? No kidding! How about that, we both have tiled bathrooms. Small world we live in. "

 

...and that's why I try to avoid lines in the bathroom. 

[tracy_j]

Well as I mentioned earlier about children, and others have mentioned about the state of the facilities ...

I used the ladies room at a function today in a small village. There was one stall and I had to wait for the occupant to vacate. While I was waiting another woman came in, saw there was a queue (me) and left. When I finally got in the stall I found the lock didn't work :/ . One other person tried to enter whan I was in but soon left when I pushed back on the door.

After finishing and just washing my hands, with a cheeful hello! a little girl came in. Next she asked if I would hold the door while she was inside the stall (she was obviously familiar with the fact there was no lock). I said Ok and did so, leaving when she came out.

It is little things like this that can worry me at times. The way I think - Ok, I am a woman so I am 100% woman and behave as such. I wonder though :/. Perhaps a real worry is (as I have seen happen from time with other women) is that I am asked to take responsiblity for someone like this girl. In theory it should not happen but being a fairly safe area here people can be very old fashioned. It's all experience, but like probably most here, I do worry about a big negative experience occuring.

Tracy

[Charlize]

When we care for someone else's child in that kind of situation it could always create a dangerous situation.  I remember being in a changing room with a friend trying on some skirts when a mom and daughter came in.  We were out of there quite quickly.  It just isn't worth the path of a mom who might see a threat where none exists.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize