Be the Love We Need

[Dev]

Good morning everyone,

I'd like to take a minute to address the recent events in the US.  I hope you'll forgive me for taking my sweet time to get here.  I tend to be one of the most level-headed and unshockable people I know, but the crescendo of fear and uncertainty rising in this country over the last week managed to - temporarily - throw me for a loop.

I'm not going to rehash the specifics.  You all know as well as I do the horrific behavior that's escalated after the results of the election gave it tacit approval.  I'm sure many of you have been - at the very least - shaking your heads as the new "leaders" of the country have been named.  The worry and outright fear many of us feel as minorities in this country is palpable, and I'm not going to offer empty platitudes or imply there's no call for it.

No, instead I'm going to share the call to action that I've slowly been piecing together for the handful of folks who know me through social media and in my daily, offline life.  The thing is, as tempting as it may be to say hate won, that's only true if we let it settle in and get comfortable.  Already, organizations like the ACLU have promised to fight the new administration every time they even think something regressive.  And while we ourselves don't have that kind of reach or power, we are the ones on the front lines of that fight.  There is so much we can do, every day, to show the world - especially those of us within it who are most vulnerable - that this isn't who we are.

Challenge those who, with their ballots, propped the door open for this administration to waltz on in.  There are many hateful people who voted for the new administration because they agree with and were captivated by the messages of hatred and exclusion that drove the campaign.  There are far more who simply decided those messages weren't worth revoking their votes.  Yes, their failure to object to that behavior on Election Day helped get us where we are now, but - as hard as it is to swallow - that doesn't put them on quite the same level as the outright bigots. 

If you have friends or family who are accepting and open-minded and who, for whatever reason, still voted for Trump, put them in the hot seat.  Ask them what they plan to do to show others like them - and, more to the point, others like us - that hatred and discrimination aren't okay.  It may be uncomfortable for them to hear, but even if those aren't values they hold dear, they still either ignored or condoned the terrifying platform of the right.  While we shouldn't demand answers from them inquisition style, it is perfectly acceptable and reasonable to press them to reassure us through their actions that they remain supportive.

We can also, in so many little ways, show the love, acceptance, and tolerance we expect others to show for us.  Smile at people - all people.  Strike up a conversation with the woman sitting next to you at the bus stop.  Volunteer within your community to show your love for those around you.  Gently correct your friends and family members who, knowingly or not, perpetuate the spread of misinformation and fear of the other that so often fuels the bigots.  In short, be human.  Whatever differences may exist between one person and the next, humanity is something we all have in common.  By sharing the human experience, by opening our hearts to others, we encourage those others to do the same with us.

Remember that we're not the only ones who are afraid of what's to come.  Women, people of color, Muslims, LGBT folks. . . just about everyone is at risk of losing something or coming to harm.  Already I've seen a tendency among each of these groups to circle the wagons and shut others out.  Instead, we must invite them in.  Fragmented groups of individuals surrounding their specific causes will be ineffective at best.  If we all stand together against hatred and discrimination, though, we will be a force to be reckoned with.

Above all else, stay safe.  If you're not able to speak up without risking harm to yourself, there's no shame in doing what you can without drawing attention in the moment.  If you see hatred you can't respond to right away, share the event with your friends and family after the fact.  If you see a dangerous situation, stay back and call 911.  We don't need heroes.  We need everyone - every last person - to model the kind of love and compassion this country needs.

And finally, remember this place.  These forums and our live chat rooms are safe spaces where you can vent and let go of stress and be who you are without fear of rejection.  Whenever you need us, we're here.

[Cyndee]

Thank you Dev, and agreed.

Discrimination and hatred need to be called out in this world. There was a tremendous cost to this election cycle, given the hateful language used to elect the next leaders. They should be held accountable for this and not be allowed to pretend it did not happen.

I agree with your topic title, be the love this society needs. Actions not words, will go a long way. A smile to a stranger opens the door.

Hugs and hope

Cyndi -

[Jani]

I agree that the "negative" language used in the campaign may not have been onerous enough to cause many to change their vote.  I think many of those who do not experience discrimination in their daily lives do not recognize it as a big problem to be addressed.  That doesn't mean they are uncaring, just that other issues may be driving their conscience.  I know if asked many Trump voters would tell us that hate is not acceptable, but we must hold them accountable as you suggest because their candidate specifically used it as a tactic and as we've seen in the news it has emboldened many fringe types to action since they feel they have free reign.

So yes we must band together and encourage those involved in negative behaviors to be more accepting.  At some point in our lives, we have all been part of a minority group at some time (i.e. not in the majority).  We must encourage inclusiveness in everyday life.  

Thanks Dev.

[Guest]

My applause light is on!

[Briana]

Well said Dev! 

[Tejana]

Interesting perspective in the original post.  Lots of folks in this forum certainly seem write well.

Certainly this was the most important Presidential election held in my lifetime.  [Personally, I think it was the most important election since the then new Republican Party elected Abraham Lincoln.] 

W/ re: to the original post, I am not certain I understand what "revoking their votes" means, at least not after ballots have been have been cast/submitted.  However, I do quite well understand that those individuals who are so vigorously/violently protesting the results of this Presidential election are attempting to revoke my own ballot through extra-legal/anti-constitutional means.

 W/ re: to my future voting behavior though, I will make one commitment to myself.  if promises made during this campaign (especially those relating to SCOTUS-appointees) are not kept, I would likely vote for different candidate in the 2020 Presidential primaries (i.e., assuming life, law & order, and constitutional-rule prevail).

Again, interesting op and responses. 

 

[Sakura]

While I am certain that a number of Trump voters did so based on racism and bigotry. There is this idea that it was the only reason that pushed him into the white house. The liberal media has attempted a post mortem autopsy of the election in an attempt to figure out who these 50+ million racist misogynist homophobic xenophobic white males were. The results from best I can tell were spurred by class not race. The voter turnout that helped propel Donald Trump to the White House consisted primarily of middle class American’s that make less than 30 grand a year. You see poverty is a huge motivator for people to want change in their economic situation; Donald Trump was the Change nominee and in a time when the majority of voters feel their economic situation is getting worse is a powerful driving force for a candidate.

 A census in 2015 showed that middle house hold income rose 2.5 percent. Many mainstream liberal news outlets touted that as excellent news. The reality is that translated to an extra $2500 in annual income which is also 1.6 percent less than it was in 2007 factor in inflation and it was no increase at all. The top 5 percent of earners in the United states saw a 21 percent increase in median income while roughly 47 million American’s are poorer now than they were in 1989. They also miss the fact the middle America is no longer white Middle America but inter racial middle America. My husband who is Puerto Rican the vast majority of my friends who are Latino fall squarely into that Middle America bracket and virtually all of them voted for Donald Trump. So it is Minorities too that suffer from this class inequality which is also why the ethnic vote turned out for Trump in a way they did not for Romny.

Free trade has been strangling middle class America to death since the 90s and with Hilary Clinton as POTUS there was only a lot more of that coming down the pike. Then take into account obamacare  that is expected to be funded by “healthy” working class American’s saw double digit premium increases right before election( mine went from 76 to $92 every single pay) there just continued to be nails put into Hilarys political coffin. Middle class America literally could not afford another 8 years of democratic rule.  

Now whether or not those that voted for Trump are racist here is something to consider. Preceding the election many liberals said they would leave the US for Canada or Australia or even pluto or some other white majority country, after he won American’s crashed Canada’s immigration web site…. But no one google searched Immigrating to Mexico no one said they were moving to Mexico if Trump won? So why move to Canada and not Mexico? to answer that I guess those that so eagerly sought to trade one white majority for another would have to look deeper inside themselves than those that voted for Trump.  

[Charlize]

At this point we actually have seen a flow back to Mexico during the Obama administration.  The laws on immigration were being enforced as never before except for the clause that would punish employers who did not verify citizenship.  Many large businesses in this country, especially in the food industry, thrive on cheap exploitable labor.  Who better than a group that many accuse of "stealing" jobs.

I agree with Dev as a minority we need to act with respect and love for our brothers and sisters in this world.  So many folks are presently fearful and for good reason.  Haters have a license today.  I can only imagine the threat i would feel as a black,, muslim, trans* person.  I'm fortunate to live in an area where i am accepted and am fortunate to somehow be able to enjoy the company of many different kinds of people.  Being kind to them has also created kindness for me.  I'm never sure if i pass but am pretty certain that i'm not hated by those i know.  Some of them did vote for Trump.  That's their right.  Amazingly they are not rich.  The 1% at the top will get the most from the new policies proposed.  

It's going to be a difficult 4 years for me and many.  Hopefully my grandchildren will not be negatively affected.

I take hope in thinking of the universe and how small this event is in comparison.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Sakura]

No Charlize I am not talking about  illegals being deported back to Mexico. I am talking about white liberals and celebrities that proclaimed rather sternly on social media that they were moving to Canada if Donald Trump won, for all thier inclusive rhetoric none of them even mentioned Mexico or any other latino nation as a viable choice for relocation in the event Trump won. They literally crashed Canada's immigration website searching it.

While true it is the 1% that will likely benifit from the new policies that is not inherently bad namely because it is the 1% that sign our pay checks. you can think of a business as a pie. The guy that owns say my company for example that 1 percenter. Now he is going to get the biggest slice of that pie because he owns it. the rest of that pie is then divided up between costs to operate and paying employees. Now if uncle sam takes a larger bite of his pie. well, his slice ins't going to get any smaller. He will simply decrease my slice of the pie to maintain his....or he may do away with my slice completely. In the end it is employees that get hurt by higher taxation as that cost gets passed on to us.

This is another thing that caused extreme disdain for Obama from the middle class and ultimately Hilary. The housing market collapse. Obama spent a few trillion dollars bailing the banks out. Banks that knowingly sold predatory and toxic variable interest loans to first time home buyers knowing full well that bubble would burst and these home buyers would never be able to afford those houses. Now what Obama could very easily have done instead of giving these banks what equated to blank checks was take that wasted trillions and buy that toxic debt from these home owners( most of which where middle class) The bank would have got their money and these home buyers could have saved their houses and their credit. Instead he simply ensured the 1% got their multi million dollar severance  pays and the little man got the shaft as per usual.

[Charlize]

 Sakura, I'm glad you think Trump and a republican government in all branches will be looking out for the little guy Hope your right.  I would be happy to think this will be an improvement.  Regardless unless somehow the majority vote becomes more important than the electoral college i'll live with the result.

I'm just trying to forget the whole thing and will try to dodge any bullets as they come.  As i noted it is my grandchildren i'm concerned for but hopefully with love and a good education they will be OK.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

 

[MarcieMarie12]

One thing certainly to take solace in is the fact that getting the government gummed up in legislative, legal issues, court cases and such is very easy. It then takes time (read years) for a lot of it to take effect. Rights once granted are hard to take away for just such reasons. This is where the real fight will be, not when some one recognizes our rights but when someone tries to take them.

[Cyndee]

What are you doing to make this world a kinder place ?

[Sakura]

What am I doing to make the world a kinder place ? I guess I am just being me. I feel if you have to try or practice doing something then it is not natural. In the short time I spent as a boy I was raised to be polite to be kind that subsequently carried over when I transitioned. My husband has said things to me along the lines " women don't hold doors open for men" I said " well most women don't... but I do" Those are little things though.

My house is a duplex and my neighbors are a black couple with 4 kids(4 full grown kids). There is a hedge that separates our back yards I often times stand on a chair for hours talking to Linda the mom over the hedge. A summer or two ago I tried to fix this lawnmower they had gotten online. I say try because I had to inform her that they got ripped off on that piece of junk.

just this summer while at the grocery store. A woman and her young son were standing infront of their car with the hood up. At first I sat and waited I had figured all the men that were out and about would eventually stop and help them. But maybe because they could not be bothered or maybe because the woman and her son were puerto rican no one even asked her if she needed help. I decided to help, it was hard because she spoke hardly any english and I speak barely any spanish but I worked out that her car simply had no power. took me only a few minutes of jiggling a few things to realize her battery cable was about to fall off thus not getting a good enough connection to start the car. I tightened it and the car started right up. She thanked me profusely even tried to give me money. I could have very easily left her there. but I have seen that look on my moms face " omg what am I going to do if my car doesn't work ?" so my conscience would not let me leave until I was sure there was nothing I could do.

Now don't get me wrong I am not a do gooder that seeks out peoples problems. The woman in the parking lot the thought did cross my mind " uhg it is hot as hell do I really want to trouble my self with this ?" but I feel it was presented to me to do. Maybe I would left and some one would have come along to help her, but I would have had trouble sleeping that night not knowing. at the very least I saved her a couple hundred bucks not having her car towed and earned my self some karma points. It had nothing to do with her ethnicity I see some one in need of help if I can and if it is safe for me to do so I will.

[Charlize]

One of the most fun things i have done is to put a quarter into the candy machine at the super market and walk away.  I can only imagine the look on the child who spins the dial in the hope i had so many times as a child and .....bingo a handful of goodies.  Just the thought is worth a quarter every so often.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Alex Blitzen]

Charlize... that's awesome.  I would have loved that when I was a kid because my parents never really allowed me to have a quarter for the machine.  I bet kids do get really excited about it.

[Timber Wolf]

Hmmm, putting a quarter in the candy machine. That's something I've never even thought of. Of course, when I was a kid, I never thought that could happen either. I might try that one day (putting in, not turning lol?).

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf?

[tracy_j]

As a child I once went into the pier amusements at a seaside town and on checking a 'What the butler saw' machine found that it was active. Quite amusing at the time even if a bit tame . I was always one for checking and even now glance at the 'Penny Falls' machines to see if money has fallen. When my son was little I had a rule that if I found any money I gave it to him. The quarter idea is good as it is anonymous.

 

Tracy