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My Addictive Thinking Strikes Again


Timber Wolf

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Hi Everyone,

Even after 10 years clean, my addictive thinking can still creep up on me. Last night at work, a tow truck driver told me about two friends who had overdosed on heroin Saturday night and died. My first thought was that they must have found the good stuff and where could I find some. Addiction never really goes away. It just lurks in the shadows waiting for an opportunity to strike. Gotta keep my guard up.

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf?

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Luckily (or unluckily dependant on how you look at it) I only really got addicted to smoking but at a stressful point in my life I just stopped. It just suddenly made me nauseous. I do sometimes think about it as I never really stopped but I still feel sick at the thought.

With drugs I vowed never to buy any which really decided it I think. I have come across the softer ones in earlier times but luckily nothing too heavy, although I was aware of their availability but, whether they were inviting or not, money would decide and I was not about to become criminal. One thing I always remember is being with a friend (who I am still in distant contact with). We were talking about drugs and saying that we could dream whatever we liked in vivid colour without any help. Never having been there I don't know about hard drugs but believe in the power of the mind. That was, I think, a seed which greatly helped my thinking.

Just keep moving forward Timber. Think of the times now, and even more so in the future in which, even though you may still think about it, you will see it as the past and really have no part at all in your present

Tracy

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I came through the doors of AA twenty five years ago. First time 10 years clean and sober,  then oops...

Ten years in and out like a pinball, the best I  did was about a year and a half clean and sober. I no longer did hard drugs, just bottles full of evil spirits and the ugly weed that burns into the pretty flower in the mind.

Now I am coming up on my five year medallion (again). Life is much better clean and sober. I attribute the old periods of sobriety as his. This new sobriety is mine all mine. Well, yes we share an addiction that never goes away. I mainly didn't want the booze and dope to counteract my new loved HRT. Addiction costs take away from transitioning money too.

I'm glad you're clean and fully understand it never goes away. That is good relapse prevention medicine. Hug.  JodyAnn

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Fortunately such thoughts tend to be very fleeting, almost just a reminder and warning bell, thanks to my recovery program. My sponsor likes to say that addiction is just doing push ups waiting for an opportunity. He also says were only as sick as our secrets, so it's good not to keep thoughts of using drugs secret. Nip it in the bud, just like pulling weeds in your garden. When they first sprout up, they're easily pulled. But when they get bigger, there roots get deep.

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf?

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Thank you for sharing Timber Wolf.  I feel so blessed to have a program where like those here i can share and see how i'm just the same as so many other addicts.  The craving is always there and abuse just an arms length away.  It is friends like those here that help me know i can keep walking in the peace of recovery.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

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