I'm confused

[havefaithinsoccer]

I think I might be transgender. As of right now, I'm living as a female. But I have a strong desire to be male. Almost every night at 11:11, I wish that I could wake up as a boy, even though I know that's not how it works. I hate my vagina and wish I could have a penis instead. 

I have showed signs since I was a toddler, but I never really thought about it. Some signs (present and past) are below.

• Preferred toy cars over dolls as a toddler
• Most of my friends were boys as a toddler

(All of these below are as of now)

• I hate the color pink
• All my friends are boys
• I dress more like a boy. (Sweatshirts, sports jerseys, soccer shorts)
• I hate wearing dresses
• I secretly wished (and still do) to be a boy
• I wish I had a penis instead of a vagina
• I like sports and video games rather than... (I don't even know what girls like)
• Want to get my hair cut short
• Occasionally pee standing up instead of sitting down
• Wondered since age 9 or 10

What are the chances that I am transgender?

[VickySGV]

Your chances of being Trans* are about the same as any of ours here, which is --- WHO KNOWS at this point in time!!  The main clue is that you  have a history of wondering who you are and which identity fits you best, and the answer may be NEITHER male or female will be the best match for you.  If you have actually been concerned on a consistent, persistent and insistent basis, it is doubtful that you are Cis gender, and thus the next step is going to be getting Gender Therapy and taking time to really get a deep inventory of your self and your feelings to find who you are.  I am FtM who is fully transitioned and yet the list of male activities you have up there are still many of mine.  I also have many "female" interests so the list by itself is not all that much a clue as to who you are.  What do you think your chances of being Transgender are?  I will accept your evaluation without even having a moment of doubt about it.  I am not however a therapist.

Welcome to the Playground, you are in the right place to keep reading, posting and joining in with us.  You have enough going to be one of this crazy but supportive family we have here.  Welcome.

[Guest Alicia Rose]

Welcome to LP!!
It's important to note that Transgender is an umbrella term for anyone whose gender identity does not match their assigned sex and/or gender at birth.

Point being: We can enjoy what is considered feminine activities and identify as Cis-, MTF, FTM, or any other term out there. Trans women won't always want to feel like a princess, have long hair, wear heels and be what others may consider stereotypical female. They could love trucks, sports, getting dirty and have short hair. It doesn't impact their gender/sexual identity. Just because you dislike feminine things, doesn't necessarily affect your gender - but yes, it could be a sign.

It's obvious that you do and have questioned your gender identity at a young age and still do. There's a good chance you could identify as Transgender but there are many 'labels' out there and Cis* or Trans* aren't the only ones.

The best thing you could do is seek professional help from a Gender Therapist. Someone who understands transgender issues and is qualified to give you the support you need to aid you in you personal life. Forums like LP is a great place to ask questions, share experiences and look for answers and allies. I'm glad you've joined us!

I'm not a therapist but again one could help. If you need help finding one or have any questions, just ask.

[tracy_j]

I would agree with the previous posts. It would be a good idea to discuss things with a gender therapist but, speaking from experience, one thing I would suggest is that you consider things from the other direction. ie If you were male. Would you see any good points about being female? I must admit I would answer your points opposite to you, but some boys do love pink. Some girls love sports (even football ugh).

My feelings are that things are more of a way of life, in fact more thinking and feelings than a set of facts (although I am not trying to belittle what you say as they are indicators of feelings).

I suppose that what I am trying to say is that, rather than just  looking over the fence, see what it feels like to be there, at least in mind if you are unable to be there in body. If possible empathise with being male.Thinking such back and forth (without rejecting or being worried about what you are thinking) will help you learn about yourself.

Tracy

[MarcieMarie12]

I always would suggest those questioning their gender identity. to read the Null Hypothecis . It really gave me a good perspective on things in regards to if I was trans enough. Only you will know if you are trans or not.