The Dynamics Of Change

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Hi All,

Well here again I go with thoughts on my mind...

Clearly, I have entered a new stage of development and existence. Today, at work, there was an email going around amongst the bio-males. I caught wind of this email, and it was a risque picture of a woman with the subject... "Bernie??? need I say more".

Now on the one hand, I was pleased to see that I was being referred to among the general males as female. On the other hand, it concerned me that this picture was not complimentary towards women and that I was the subject of such an email. What I realize is that I am being rejected by the bio-males. What is ironic is that I have been so concerned with passing as female, I never considered what it would be like not to pass as male. I just took that for granted.

Now I am in this quasi existence between male and female. The males no longer accept me, but the females don't accept me either. Not to say that I don't have friends (both female and male). It is ironic that a very dear male friend of mine keeps asking me to admit that I am gay "its OK, I have had other people come out to me that they are gay", I reply "I am not gay" hoping he will get my drift, so far, he does not get it. My attitude is that if he cannot figure out that I am transgendered, I am not going to tell him.

Right now, there is general unease when I go into the "mens" bathroom (I can tell the guys are uncomfortable with me being in there), but I cannot go into "womens" bathroom at this time... (great, a dilemma!).

Anyway, I just wanted to share with you all, my current experience.

Love

bernii

[Sally]

I don't have those problems at work - I work alone so the bathroom is always the lady's room!

I will face those problems with clients and band members once my hormones start to take effect.

Good luck, Bernii!

Love ya,

Sally

[Guest DanM]

Hey Bernie,

I just wanted to let you know that we all go thru this, some on different levels but go thru it just the same. Just remember you have all of us here at Laura's who know who you are and we except you for you. I just hope this isn't interfering with your work as we all know it can sometimes. We all have our weak points and we all have our strong points, and they sometimes makes us second guess ourselves and our identity. But together we can all get through it and be better than those idiots at work. LOL

Love Ya Hun

Dan

[Guest doodle]

you are entering the really rough period and we all know what jerks men are. In time they may come around . There's a T women transitioning at my job but she doesn't really work for us she works for the resturant service in the building. . The same type of crap happening to her that was a few years ago. I had to yell at some security guard who wouldn't let her use the womens rest room. Anyway, she is accepted now by everyone in the place, the women and the security guard who recently explained that she was born that way. They think I'm a drag queen. i really don't know what they think . Stick it out and it can get better it did here for her . Me well that may be another story. Cissexuals will never understand that you are doing this for yourself. You should try to educate him about the problem and thats all you can do.

love

doodle

[Guest Sarah Marie]

Oh Bernii -- I am saddened that the bio-males feel it is worth wasting time at work to be so juvenile. With their minds so obviously not on the work, what must their job performance be like?

I hope this e-mail insanity ends with this first photo. The sad thing is that there are those who see such things as hilarious. Such people are best avoided because they will never grow up emotionally.

[Guest joe0117]

Hi Bernii!

I am sorry about your situation at work. I am also sorry about the email. I know that you are a very strong woman, but I fear about the hurt such an email may have caused you. I find it difficult being in the in-between stages of transitioning and can sympathize with you. I hope that in time, not too much time, that your coworkers come around. I hope that they immmediately give you the respect you deserve. It does sound like an uncomfortable environment. I hope they soon realize what I quickly became aware of, that you are a phenomenal woman. You are so kind and caring. I wish I could fix the situation for you. I care about you, Bernii! I accept as the beautiful woman that you are - inside and out!

Joe

[Guest Donna Jean]

Hey, Bernii, Sweetie....

I'm so sorry for the thing that went down at work and how it involved you in such an embarrassing way..

It' s becoming a very awkward time for many of us...getting Mam'd then Sir'd and and it can be difficult for people to really know what we are....and that's not their fault ...they just don't know....

But, your co-workers juvenile behavior is both hateful and hurtful.

That should not be tolerated in the workplace, but I know how bio males can be!

Keep your head up, Hon....

Huggs

Donna Jean

[Guest julia_d]

I would make sure the HR manager gets a cc of it.. sent from anothers account. You should be able to organise that yes?

OK.. I'm a bit of a hacker .. but it's a personal slur and shouldn't be tolerated. I wonder how the boss would find a picture of a gorilla with the words "the boss" added.. I doubt that would go down well.

[Guest Elizabeth K]

bernii

I know how sensitive you are and I know this can hurt. It's going to be that way - I mean - things behind your back. These are the same kind of people who rush though a door so they won't have to hold it open for a person in a wheelchair! These are the breed of mankind known as the 'heartles and brainless." GOD's angels were their lunchbreak in the "inset brain" room. These people were leaned against the wall waiting for the angels to come back. But they left before the angels could return.

My grandmother called these people 'walkaway' people.

And friends? Be yourself, be kind and loving, find the way to be the wonderful person you are, you will have people flocking to you!

You MUST be at ease with yourself. People LOVE to be around those who are self-assured indviduals.

We love you! So love the good people, love yourself, my pretty girl... laugh at the rest of them, and their ignorant ways

Lizzy

[Guest leo]

bernie *hugs*

iv not reli started my transition and i have the bathroom thing

im lucky enough to already look about 60% male so i get odd looks when i use the female toilets

[Carolyn Marie]

Bernie, dear, I'm so sorry to hear about your work situation. I totally agree with Julia_d, you should make a complaint with HR. Most companies of any size have written policies about harassing or discriminatory behavior, and abuse of internla communication systems. Not sure if it would make things better or worse for you, but at least the idiots would think twice about doing it again. Take care and be strong.

Love,

Carolyn Marie

[Guest Pioneer]

In the past, I made fun of people who were different just to fit in (yes, I am ashamed of it). It doesn't mean all of them are like that but some do it because they are scared and insecure to be revealed of their true selves. And it could take years for them to realize this. But at their age they should know better.

I'm sorry you are going through this.