Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

Facebook post - rewrite


Cindy Truheart

Recommended Posts

Okay, so I posted what I was going to put on Facebook here and I got a lot of good suggestions! I decided that I really was giving WAY too much information! So I started over and came up with this, please let me know what you think!

"I’ve been keeping a secret and it’s time to tell it.

I’ve always known that I was different. As a child I didn’t completely understand what was different. But I suffered a lot from bullies of all ages for being who I am. As I grew up, I searched for answers but I could never figure it out. I felt as if everyone around me was stuffing me into a box somehow. It was uncomfortable, stifling, annoying, irritating, and it chaffed in the worst possible way! But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t find the reason for why I felt this way. Eventually I gave up and stuffed myself into that box thinking that I had no other choice. And I have to admit, part of me stopped looking out of fear for what I may find.

Well, recently some part of me overcame that fear and at the same time the right information was presented to me because I finally found my answers. You see, I’m Transgender. My denial of this part of myself gave me the ability to blend in, but it also gave me a deep and chronic depression that I’ve lived with through my teen years and my entire adult life. You probably haven’t seen it because I learned how to hide aspects about myself when I was very young. I’ve slowly been getting worse as time has gone by however, and for a while I seemed destined to commit suicide by alcohol poisoning. But I found a fantastic therapist who has helped me figure a lot of things out and kept me from making mistakes. So I’m much better now! And I’m looking forward to my new life!

I know that this is likely a shock to you. But please understand that I’m the same person I’ve always been! It isn’t like I’ve suddenly changed my personality, I’m still me! I encourage you to take your time with this and to process it however you need to. It’s taken me and ***** a while to process things ourselves so we understand. And in case you are wondering, ***** has been the most supportive and loving wife EVER! We are both doing great, still in love and not leaving each other’s side for anything! If you would like to know more, or if you have any questions or concerns, please just message me. In a few days I will be changing my name, gender, and profile picture here on Facebook. I look forward to showing you all the new me!

"
Link to comment

Hi Cindy, thank you for sharing your thoughts.

When I read what you wrote, here's what I got from it: You've been struggling with depression and identity, you are coming out as trans, that your wife is supportive, and that you are open to communication.

I think it does tell a good bit about you and your suffering and how you are accepting you for you.

This is a lot more than what I did. But my friends and family always knew I was gay, so when I said I was trans, it was a bit of a shock. But I had made a healthy boundary for myself to accept the support of those who would be there for me and to remove from my FB those that were ashamed or worried about liking stuff etc... (I had to remove my parents and told them when they are ready, I will accept them and explained why I removed them from my page). ** I realize you weren't asking what I did personally, but I wanted to share it with you and hope maybe you can gain some personal insight? That or I love "talking". :D

I know I am miles away from you, so all I can give you is my sincere hopes that it will be well received and you will be happy to have told them.

Love, Stephanie

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Cindy this is a wonderful write up.  You get an A+.  This is clear and to the point.  I think everyone will quickly understand what and why.   I sincerely hope you get all the love you have shown here in return from your friends and family.  You go girl!

Jani

Link to comment

Thank you all! It's still going to be a while before I can post this, probably another 8 weeks or so. And I still need to talk my wife into it, she thinks I shouldn't make a post and instead just change my profile and let people figure it out. On the one hand she is right, these people don't pay my bills and have no emotional investment in my life, but on the other hand I do want to stand up and get people to recognize that we are people too. By making this post I hope that people online will see that I'm still the same person I was before. Bringing this from the realm of "happens to other people" into the realm of "real life" can sometimes change people simply because they see we aren't so different from them.

Anyway, that is the activist-hippy in me! I always wanted to make the world a better place and that just seems to come out in me more and more every day! I can't wait to get settled in our new home so that we can get active in the political process and maybe join some protests for good causes!

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Cindy, while I think this is a wonderful story to present to your Facebook followers your wife does have a point in that these people for the most part do not have an emotional investment in your life.  I'm not saying only those with that connection deserve an explanation of whats going on with you but with 8 weeks to go you still have time to consider and fine tune this writeup.  I don't know how Facebook works and if you can send this version to a sub group that is closer to your family and a stripped down version to the general population of your followers.  I hope I'm clear here... 

Either way, I think you're doing fine and I laud your desire to help the world understand our community better. 

Jani

Link to comment

When I came out on facebook it was a last thing comming out on for precisely that reason. Some long time friends, I wanted to maintain contact with I wrote a PM to en mass. Saying hey, I have another FB, oh btw the name on FB is Marcie and briefly described what I have been going through and to expect a friend request from me. It did not go to people I had not heard from nor had any emotional attachment to, nor was it public on the old page.

One reason was faceboook does not like people making whole new profiles. and if some one reports you they will take notice and ban you (at least I heard that happening). So basically all the FB people I was not sure of their reaction or that did not know me well only noticed my old FB page going down. 

Link to comment
4 hours ago, Cindy Truheart said:

Thank you all! It's still going to be a while before I can post this, probably another 8 weeks or so. And I still need to talk my wife into it, she thinks I shouldn't make a post and instead just change my profile and let people figure it out. On the one hand she is right, these people don't pay my bills and have no emotional investment in my life, but on the other hand I do want to stand up and get people to recognize that we are people too. By making this post I hope that people online will see that I'm still the same person I was before. Bringing this from the realm of "happens to other people" into the realm of "real life" can sometimes change people simply because they see we aren't so different from them.

Anyway, that is the activist-hippy in me! I always wanted to make the world a better place and that just seems to come out in me more and more every day! I can't wait to get settled in our new home so that we can get active in the political process and maybe join some protests for good causes!

When one self-discloses, even to close friends, there is always a risk.  To disclose to those who are only casual friends, or even merely acquaintances ups the ante with re: to security risks far more than I could ever find acceptable.  Fortunately, most of the risks I have incurred were suffered only by myself and no one else.

In retrospect, I believe I unnecessarily disclosed too much to too many folks.  If I had to do it over again, I would have chosen to disclose to far fewer people.  I genuinely believe that if I had take the latter course, both myself & many of those to whom I self-disclosed would have better off.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Activism...no, not me.  I have and will continue to advocate for an individual when I view such actions to be necessary.   I don't do political causes anymore though.  It was an  unpleasant experience to find that some of the causes I supported eventually reached fruition...only for me to realize that the causes for which I advocated were not be what I had signed up for....leaving me feeling dirty and used...by folks who were working covert agendas. 

Prudence can be a virtue.  Best wishes.

 

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   6 Members, 0 Anonymous, 132 Guests (See full list)

    • Dannie250
    • Betty K
    • Ivy
    • VickySGV
    • April Marie
    • Maddee
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      769.3k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,058
    • Most Online
      8,356

    Aleksandria
    Newest Member
    Aleksandria
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. Conner_Sent_By_Cyberlife
      Conner_Sent_By_Cyberlife
      (22 years old)
    2. CtN1p
      CtN1p
    3. heyim_finn
      heyim_finn
      (21 years old)
    4. Jayn
      Jayn
    5. joni_girl_1988
      joni_girl_1988
      (51 years old)
  • Posts

    • Betty K
      Yes, essentially. As Julia Serano says, they view trans outcomes as intrinsically worse than cis outcomes. 
    • Jani
      I used to but now its just lip gloss every now and then, in a subdued tone.
    • Ivy
      Yeah, a lot of times I don't really have anything to add to the conversation. There are some threads I seldom post on.
    • Ivy
      I have seen some things about this.  As I remember it was not very trans-friendly. The people doing these things seem to minimize the positive aspects of transition, and maximize the potential problems. Basically, make it as difficult as possible (without outright banning it) to discourage anyone from doing it.
    • Willow
      Good morning    woke up to some light rain this morning.  Maybe I should run out with a giant umbrella to cover the car.   Ha ha ha.     I’ve had really nice cars before but never something like this.     @KymmieL I hope you got to go on your ride. Back when I had my Harley we went out for a ride almost every weekend. We would head either SW down the Shenandoah Valley or Skyline Drive which danced along the tops of the Mountains or we would head west into West Virginia and just travel along until it was time to find our way home.   occasionally I wish I still had a bike but I usually quickly for get that. The only thing I ever wanted as a young person that I never had was a late 50s vette.      
    • April Marie
      I admit to wearing make-up. Actually, I'll admit to enjoying wearing make-up. For me, it's been part of learning about myself as a woman and finding a style and look that reflects my personality.    Sometimes, it will just be a bit of mascara and a touch of lipstick. But, most often I wear foundation with setting powder, gel eyeliner, mascara, a little blush on my cheek line and lipstick. I also use an eyebrow pencil to darken my brows a bit.  Infrequently, I will add some eye shadow.   Most of my make-up is from Mary Kay although my lipsticks or from various manufacturers and eyeliners are mostly Maybelline. My wife purchases most of her make-up from Mary Kay and so we order together from our local representative. Of course, I don't have much brand experience but I'm happy with the Mary Kay products and find myself transitioning almost entirely to their line of make-up.
    • KathyLauren
      I did early on, out of necessity.  Regardless of how close you shave, beard shadow shows through.  I just used a bit of foundation, setting powder and blush.    I didn't use much eye makeup.  I started out with a bit of eye liner, but I thought it gave me a "trying too hard" look.  So I mostly didn't use any.   With covid and masking, I stopped using makeup altogether.  Why bother when no one can see your face and the mask smears the makeup anyway?   When restrictions were lifted, I didn't go back to wearing makeup.  My face feminized quite nicely over the first few years of HRT.  I'll never be pretty, but I look more female than male.  (Or I like to tell myself that anyway.)  With several years of electrolysis, and with what facial hair remains turning white, I don't have much beard shadow, so there is nothing to cover up.
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
      Do you use make-up? If so, why and what  types?
    • Heather Shay
      Pride is primarily about yourself, even when it is not you who did something that you are proud about. You can also be proud of something someone else did, who you associate with, such as your children or your favorite football team. People can feel proud of their culture, their family name, or their appearance, none of which require them to actively contribute to the praiseworthy thing1. However, the opinions of others are of crucial importance, as best demonstrated when you purposefully do something that other people praise. Pride is a social emotion, and to feel proud, you need other people’s (real or imagined) confirmation that you have a reason to feel that way. Because of this, other people can also ‘be in your head’ and prevent you from feeling pride. Namely, what is praiseworthy is subjective. Things that may be considered good in a certain (cultural) group may not be praiseworthy in another (e.g., if you grew up in a family that greatly values academics, your athletic abilities may not evoke much praise). Moreover, what is praiseworthy is relative (e.g., if you are a good runner in an athletically average school, you may regularly feel proud about your times; but if you move to a school with highly competent athletes, these same times may seem unremarkable to you). Thus, the more exclusive your quality is in your surroundings, the prouder you feel. Pride has recognizable features. Although its static facial expression (typically a smile or laugh) does not clearly distinguish it from other positive emotions, it typically results in a bodily posture, gestures, and behavior that are clearly recognizable: lifting your chin, looking people in the eye, walking confidently, or in extreme cases, raising arms above your head. In a way, you try to make yourself larger and more noticeable, as if to say: ‘look at me!’ You may also exhibit more perseverance in your activities2. People generally find it very pleasant to experience pride, as it elevates our feeling of social self-worth and status3. At the same time, many social groups, religions, and cultures (especially those that are highly collectivistic, such as the East Asian or African culture) believe that pride needs to be checked. Unchecked pride leads to arrogance and misplaced feelings of superiority (‘letting something get to your head’, ‘hubris comes before the fall’), and social groups typically do not tolerate members feeling like they are superior or deserve special treatment.  
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • Heather Shay
    • April Marie
      Thank you @missyjo! You do wonders for my ego.   It turns out that pastel colors were the "thing" at Kentucky Derby Day so my dress was perfect. I went with white 5" heeled sandals and a wide-brimmed fuscia hat. Dinner and Mint Juleps added to the fun of watching the (recorded) festivities and races.   Perhaps, we'll repeat it for the Preakness in 2 weeks.   Right now it's just blue striped sleep shorts with pink flowers, a pink t-shirt and flip flops. I can't tell you how much wearing  sleep-rated breast forms at night has done to quell my dysphoria. 
    • April Marie
      I can still rock 5" heels.
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...