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A New Member Looking To Introduce Myself


Guest Hannah19

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Guest Hannah19

I already posted most of this in the teen fourm because I didnt know there was an introduction section. opps! well anyways I came here looking for advice on what to do now that I have descovered that my femine desires have become a lot stronger. I am hoping that I can find tips on how to express myself and where to go from here. I am 19 years old and just finishing up my freshmen year. Here is a bit of history about myself involving the topic is dicussed and where i am currently at, sorry its long and not really written that well:

Back when I was in elementry school I had a friend who was a girl that i got along great with. I didnt have many friends, so I hung out with her a lot. We played a lot of games, had fun with her barbies,and played pretend games with had some dress up in them. We had so much fun together,but eventually we grew apart when she moved away. I was after this I began to realize that I really wanted to be more of a girl. So to fill this urge I would try on all of my mom's clothes and make up and pretended I was a girl. I did this for awhile, but eventually I got scared of being caught so I started doing it a lot less. After a few years I finally grew close to another girl, who I still concider my best friend. I was so happy to be able to hang out with a girl, but I tried to tone down my femine actions because I didnt want to be shunned. But I was always drawn to her stuff and had a strong desire to be able to be one of her real girl firends. then she went away for a week and I got to watch over her house. I had one of the best times of my life becuase I was able to to play with all her stuff. She had this dress that I had always loved and since we are about the same size I was able to wear it and play in her house all week. But my fun had to end when she got back. Shortly after this I tried to tell her about how I wanted to be more of a girl, however she didnt really understand and I got such mixed signals that I dropped it. After this I started to feel very confused and sad becuase I didnt know what to do with all my femine thoughts. I even started to pray every night that by some miricle I could wake up the next morning and live as a girl. But since I had no way to express myself and after going through a bit of depression, I bottle up all my femine thaughts so that they wouldnt get to me anymore. However before I got to sleep and in my dreams I would fantisise being a girl and I would feel so good inside. This is still true even now and I always hope that I get one of my dreams where I am a girl before I go to sleep. By keeping my thaughts in check during the day and letting them go at night I was able to get through high school feeling pretty good. Sometimes though my femine desires would get out.

I have always have been pulled into the womans section or stores as I walk by, however I was to scared to ever go to them. But during freshmen year I finally worked up the courage and I baught a peice of underwear and I felt so happy. I keep it hidden in the room and sometimes I wore it to school and that piece of clothing has always made me feel good and is very important to me. Another time my femine thoughts came out was when my best friend jokingly called me a princess and I responed back " I am a princess!" without thinking. I dwelled on this for awhile because I was scared that I may be found out, but then I felt a little better because it felt like I was somehow able to finally concider myself a girl. This scared me though so I tried to forget about it, but that moment still comes into my mind. Then this halloween, my friends said that we should wear skimpy outfits to be funny, and I was so exited becuase it was and excuse to be girlly in public. I made a construction worker outfit an then decied to go for it and by a pair of undies to go with it. I said it was for my costume, but i really did it because I wanted another femanine item. Besides a few of these occasions i kept my femaine side in check.

However recently I have been dipping into my old depression again and I started seeing a counciler at my college. After talking for awhile I finally relized that these thoughts were linked to many of my other thoughts and the way I act. I told her about all my feelings and desires and she said that I have what looks like I may be a transgender. This took place two weeks ago and ever since then I have been very confused and scared I have no idea what to do now and my thoughts have become more dominate and i cant keep them in check anymore. My desire to be a girl is so strong now and I dont know what to do about it, or saticfy it or how to live with it. any advise would be very appritiated on anything from what to do next or hwo to feminize myself. thanks for taking the time to read through this, it means so much to me.

Love,

Hannah

P.S.

I also wanted to to thank laura for making this wonderful website, I love browsing it and it makes me feel right at home

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Guest Elizabeth K

WELCOME WELCOME WELCOME

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Soon all these people will come to greet you! Glad to meet you... oooowh = sorry just heading to bed..

Seriously Senior Lizzy

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Oh, Good!

You made it to the introductions forum, I already got you some cookies and hot coco, but that was hours ago, would you care for a little more coco and I have a little left over birthday cake from Nova's party - it shouldn't go to waist.

Have a wonderful time here and feel free to comment on any posts that you feel you would like to, we love to hear from everyone.

Love ya,

Sally

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Guest Donna Jean

Good morning, Hannah!

It's me...Donna Jean!

Welcome to the Playground...

I see that you've gotten the coco and cake treatment from Sally and you seem to be getting settled in quite well!

Well, Honey...as you're finding out...this is THE place for love, understanding, help and just plain 'ole fun....

I truly hope you find some comfort here with us...

****HUGGS****

Donna Jean

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Guest DanM

Hi Hannah,

Welcome to the playground. Yes it is a confusing array of emotions we live with when we don't know who or what we are. But sounds to me like you have a very good councelor at school that has opened your eyes a bit more clearly. Hopefully you will get things figured out and know better what your path will be.

So please enjoy your time here at Laura's and don't hesitate to ask questions.

Peace and Love Dan

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Guest Frank67

Hi Hanna,

I see the reception committee (Lizzy, Sally, Donna Jean, bernii and DanM) was already here to say hello. So let me align with them to say, "Welcome to this side"

I hope you'll like it here.

Frank

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  • Admin

Hi, Hannah. I see that you've already met our wonderful welcome committee. They are great at making every new member feel at home and at ease. This is a wonderful place filled with great people, helpful information and useful resources. Feel free to look around and see what interests you. I'm certain you'll find kindred spirits here. Welcome to Laura's!

Carolyn Marie

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Guest Neuro

Welcome to the forums, Hannah! I'm Michael, resident n00b. XD I hope you enjoy your stay, we're all so happy to see a new face. This is a really great site, it has helped with so many things for so many of us.

There are a TON of resources on here, for everything from gaining enough confidence to buy a simple dress; to the hurdles of hormone therapy. There is something for everyone here, in any state of transition or curiosity. Having a good councilor or therapist is going to help out so much, and everyone at Laura's will be behind you 100 percent of the way.

You sound like such an amazing person--it's always exciting to get a new item of clothing that you REALLY want, huh?--to say "I AM a princess!" my god, you are my new hero!! I wish I had that kind of courage. (Only with being the man I am inside XD) I hope you always keep that confidence in yourself, because it, like your feminine side; may be hidden--but it is trying to get out, even little by little. >w0 it's already there; and always has been somewhere.

I wish you the best of luck on your path through life, and your stay at the playground!

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Guest Hannah19

Thank you so much for all the very kind welcomes everyone! I will say though everytime I read posts here there is always talk of some kind of food and it always makes me sooooo hungry.

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Guest julia_d

I don't normally reply to the "hi I'm new" posts.. but I'm trying to be more sociable.. HI and welcome *offers jaffa cakes*

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Guest CharliTo

Cake?! :3 *comes in*

Hi Hannah! I'm glad you feel happy browsing through. I was also a person who felt so relieved as I browsed through the forums :)

Stick around..cuz I tend to post food pictures all over the forum when I actually post X-D

*hugs*

Charlene

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Guest julia_d
Cake?! :3 *comes in*

Hi Hannah! I'm glad you feel happy browsing through. I was also a person who felt so relieved as I browsed through the forums :)

Stick around..cuz I tend to post food pictures all over the forum when I actually post X-D

*hugs*

Charlene

you would love my food and drink forums then.. no .. no .link.. not a spammer

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Guest SaraNetherlands

*huge hug*. Hello Hannah, that's a very emotional story you've written there. A lot of kind people here will be more than happy to help you. The way I read it, there's a good bit of things in common with me and how I handled my feminine feelings. I'm always here to talk for you. You can always drop me a private message over the forums. You are no longer alone in your feelings. Perhaps that thought will allow you to have an outlet for your feelings, so that you may get in touch with them instead of bottling them up.

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