Jump to content
  • Welcome to the TransPulse Forums!

    We offer a safe, inclusive community for transgender and gender non-conforming folks, as well as their loved ones, to find support and information.  Join today!

The Big T Question


Guest

Recommended Posts

Hello everyone. Well I find myself in unfamiliar waters. Never thought I'd be posting here. First everything is awesome at home. Wife is fully accepting. Totally enjoying are time together. Now here's the big news. She asked me last night if I had ever thought about transitioning got to admit that one came out of left field. I asked what brought that to her mind and apparently she has been doing a lot of on line studying.  She knows how happy I am when I'm dressed as Amber. She told me if I wanted to explore the possibility to transition she'd support it. I beginning to think she likes Amber better lol.  I know in the past I've always thought about what it would be like to transition. Thing is as much as I enjoy my feminine side I also enjoy the male side but not as much as being feminine. I guess I have something else now to figure out. I also wonder how things will go outside the house. If anyone has any input by all means feel free to share it. Hugs to everyone. Amber. 

Link to comment

Ask her if it would be ok if you try being Amber for a weekend, and if that is ok try being Amber for a week, For me it was one thing to be dressed, quite another to out in about as female for long periods of time. For me, I could not stand switching back fo "him".

Link to comment
58 minutes ago, MarcieMarie12 said:

Ask her if it would be ok if you try being Amber for a weekend, and if that is ok try being Amber for a week, For me it was one thing to be dressed, quite another to out in about as female for long periods of time. For me, I could not stand switching back fo "him".

Thanks Marcie. I'll give it try. Hugs. Amber

Link to comment

Hey again. Either me or my wife are confused. If I transition does it mean I start HRT. She seems to think so. I don't think that's what I really want. Maybe it would be better if I told her I wanted to try full time. I like the term transition but if that means HRT then I'm out   Guess I'll talk to her about being a full timer. Hugs. Amber 

Link to comment

Transitioning is different for different people. Some people start HRT before going full time, others are full time before they start HRT. Some don't ever start HRT. Transitions are inherently different for different persons because we (as transpersons) all have different needs. 

Link to comment
18 minutes ago, MarcieMarie12 said:

Transitioning is different for different people. Some people start HRT before going full time, others are full time before they start HRT. Some don't ever start HRT. Transitions are inherently different for different persons because we (as transpersons) all have different needs. 

Thank you so much Marcie. That helps so much. I'll show you post to my misses. She comes on here using my account and reads / studies what the forums say here. I've said it I don't know how many times but just don't what I'd do with out everyone here at Laura's. Hugs to you. Amber L 

Link to comment
36 minutes ago, Fiona said:

Absolutely, as many different transpeople, there are differences in their transition. A person goes as far as THEY NEED to go. 

Thank you Fiona. I knew if I asked I'd get plenty of loving advice. Hugs. Amber

Link to comment

Well here is another question. Everything is fine at home and when I go out but work is going to be another hole bag of worms. There are a few of those over the hill majo types and I can just bet that will be an issue. When I'm out traveling it's great but the days I'm in the office are what concerns me. I think I should just leave well enough alone. Thanks for the input. Amber

Link to comment
  • Admin

You will have to find your comfort level there and you are the one who determines IF you are comfortable.  You might split the difference and go a little on the andro side of what you wear, pushing it until you get pushback from the others if it will make you feel better and more productive.  Again, it is what YOU can do.

Link to comment
  • Forum Moderator

Hi Amber.  I'm sorry I haven't replied to your post yet but I have tried to keep up with it.  It sounds like you've reached a good point with your wife and that is great.  As far as work goes Vicky is correct that you alone have to find your comfort zone.  I note that you selected Crossdresser as the Gender marker in your profile.   That is well within the transgender umbrella and it is a perfect place to be for many girls and guys that may not want or feel comfortable going further because HRT, social transition or medical transition is not for them.  Many of us have crossdressed for years.  As Marcie and Fiona relate we all have our differing needs and desires and no one journey is the "correct" one.  Yours is the correct one.  

While outward appearances of androgyne might draw unwanted attention at work you could always underdress.  Many of us have done that and I can say that it definitely quells the dysphoria.   Find a point where you, and your wife, are happy.  That said, be you and make it fun!

Jani  

Link to comment
52 minutes ago, Jani423 said:

Hi Amber.  I'm sorry I haven't replied to your post yet but I have tried to keep up with it.  It sounds like you've reached a good point with your wife and that is great.  As far as work goes Vicky is correct that you alone have to find your comfort zone.  I note that you selected Crossdresser as the Gender marker in your profile.   That is well within the transgender umbrella and it is a perfect place to be for many girls and guys that may not want or feel comfortable going further because HRT, social transition or medical transition is not for them.  Many of us have crossdressed for years.  As Marcie and Fiona relate we all have our differing needs and desires and no one journey is the "correct" one.  Yours is the correct one.  

While outward appearances of androgyne might draw unwanted attention at work you could always underdress.  Many of us have done that and I can say that it definitely quells the dysphoria.   Find a point where you, and your wife, are happy.  That said, be you and make it fun!

Jani  

Thanks Jani. I have been underdressing for a while now. I love the support you and everyone else her showed to me. Just going to go slow and see where this new part of my journey takes me. Hugs. Amber 

Link to comment
34 minutes ago, viviennemichelle said:

Oh Amber what wonderful news,I wish you all the luck in your new journey, the relief must be amazing, I suppose it goes to show that sometimes it pays to let your other half know,

hugs

viviennemichelle

Thanks Vivienne. I really didn't let her know she figured it out on her own. To be honest I really didn't know how her finding out my dressing would go. I know we love each other totally. It was difficult at the beginning. She's a smart and caring women and she did a lot of studying on the subject and asked lots of tough questions. She's the love of my life and I thank god for her each day. Hugs. Amber 

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Who's Online   4 Members, 0 Anonymous, 217 Guests (See full list)

    • MaryEllen
    • April Marie
    • AllieJ
    • VickySGV
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Forum Statistics

    • Total Topics
      80.7k
    • Total Posts
      769k
  • Member Statistics

    • Total Members
      12,047
    • Most Online
      8,356

    MAN8791
    Newest Member
    MAN8791
    Joined
  • Today's Birthdays

    1. AlanaTG
      AlanaTG
    2. Alicia
      Alicia
      (35 years old)
    3. brianna051
      brianna051
      (39 years old)
    4. canofworms
      canofworms
    5. delmori
      delmori
  • Posts

    • April Marie
      100% correct!
    • Mmindy
      That's a great question @Ladypcnj. It gives time for staff to review your line of thinking or replying. You're almost free to comment at will, reaching 5 posts.   Best wishes, stay positive.   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Ladypcnj
      If it's okay for me to ask, but why does post and replies have to be approved? 
    • Willow
      No one that hasn’t gone through the self perceived shame and guilt about the feelings we’ve had cannot understand 1. Why we need a therapist we trust. 2.  Why we suddenly need to talk to them. 3. Why things set us off and throw us into a bout of extreme depression.  4. Why we feel threatened even when we aren’t in immediate danger.  That threat may be only in our mind but it’s our need for reassurance.      
    • Avra
      Be careful about software bundled with your antivirus! Most likely they are using it to spy on you. As far as I know the only 2 VPN providers that actually protect your data (and delete it as soon as possible if they keep anything at all) are Proton VPN and Mulvad VPN - the latter one actually had their servers stormed by law enforcement and they walked away with nothing (cause Mulvad had no customer data to offer). I would avoid antiviruses altogether tbh, they're not a magic cure for internet safety and the built in one from Microsoft does its job well enough. If you're not on WIndows you don't even need one - just be smart about what you download of course.   Your web browser asking you to turn it off is probably because the browser would prefer to know your real location, just ignore it or pick a better browser, like Firefox.
    • Lorelei
      It was stupid of me, the cop was in front of me in a u-turn cut in a spot I know about. I was running a little late because of the slow truck, and the cop happened to be there today. It is like one of only three places for a speed trap on my commute. I usually don’t speed as I try to leave enough of a time buffer in the morning. 
    • Lorelei
      The worst possible scenario is 4 points on my license, which a defensive driving course will negate it. I had considered getting a lawyer, but it is probably not worth the expense. 
    • Ivy
      Yeah, I was puzzling on that too…
    • Maddee
      Good luck maam 😊 I’ve experienced that they’ll lower the points , if you show up in court and pay the ticket. 
    • Adrianna Danielle
      This was before I came out.One documentary worth watching on it is The Invisible War,mentioning the sex crimes in the military
    • April Marie
      A multi-colored skort with a white popover and white sneakers. I need some sun on those legs, tho'!!!   
    • Mmindy
      Welcome to Transgender Pulse Forums Mealaini,   Like you I knew in my preteen years that I was meant to be a girl, but didn't have any way to bring it up in the early 1960s. It was the expanding news outlets on the telly that allowed me to understand that I may not be the only person who felt this way. Wow was my mind expanded once the internet became a reasonable research tool in the 1990s.   My grown daughter (42) is nonbinary and atheist with pagan leanings. So when I came out to her she was thrilled and wanted to dress me up and show me the world. Well I think she wanted to show me to the world. My son (45) is evangelical christian and very upset with his sister for many reasons. However he's a reluctant supporter of me as transgender. I'm out to my wife and we've been married for 48 years this June, so I'm in a very late in life transition.   The other thing that has me going down an internet rabbit hole is your location. It clearly states United Kingdom with a sub flag of Illinois. I've searched the web and can't seem to locate Illinois, UK. Am I missing something?    Best wishes,   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
    • Timi
      Thank you for sharing, @Mealaini, and welcome.    I appreciate your description of IFS and your book recommendation. I have a few close friends who are very enthusiastic about IFS and my therapist is incorporating some of those elements into my therapy.    -Timi
    • Ivy
      Leg hair.  Shaving it was a surprisingly big decision.  (Not as big as the beard tho)  After I did it a few times, it's never really grown back.  Haven't shaved them in a couple of years and you'd never know it.  A daughter living with me doesn't shave hers, and she is much furrier than I ever was.     I don't exactly hate my living as a guy in the past.  TBH, I was never quite there anyway.  But I just dropped it.  I live full time fem, and it would bother me a lot to go back to being a guy.  But I don't have to appease family or an employer.
    • Mmindy
      @Loreleiit always sucks getting a ticket for passing a slower vehicle. I'm guessing the police officer was some distance behind you until you performed your passing maneuver. My most costly ticket was from a similar situation, however we were heading out of town and the last straight stretch of road to pass the two slower vehicles ahead of me was still in a 35mph zone. I didn't see the officer behind me and as soon as I pulled out to pass he turned on his lights and siren. Since I was in the process of passing, I figured the next safe place to pull over was at the upcoming roadside park. He didn't accept that and wrote me up for passing two gaps, speed in excess of 15mph over, and failure to stop. He did not care to hear about any fellowship in public safety, and no professional curiosities would be honored.  I did go to court plead my case and the judge, and he did see my point of continuing to pass with the intentions of pulling over safely at the roadside park. He was very familiar with the location. This allowed him to drop the failure to stop charges, but I did have to pay the full 15mph over speeding ticket. So my lesson learned was to never pass when entering or leaving a small town or village.   Hugs, and good luck in court.   Mindy🌈🐛🏳️‍⚧️🦋
  • Upcoming Events

Contact TransPulse

TransPulse can be contacted in the following ways:

Email: Click Here.

To report an error on this page.

Legal

Your use of this site is subject to the following rules and policies, whether you have read them or not.

Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
DMCA Policy
Community Rules

Hosting

Upstream hosting for TransPulse provided by QnEZ.

Sponsorship

Special consideration for TransPulse is kindly provided by The Breast Form Store.
×
×
  • Create New...