That's it ! I am out everywhere.

[Clara84]

I am just happy to share this and I hope this post will give some optimism to those who are still too scared like I was just less than 2 months ago.

It took me 51 days to inform everybody but I did it. It was sometimes complicated, I was often scared, but each step gave me more freedom and courage for the next one.

I began with my wife.

Then my children.

Then the best friends and coworkers. (I am my own boss and I work with 2 friends) / 

Then my parents,

My wife's family

Other friends

The rest of my family.

The neighborhood

My children's school

And finally I came out on Facebook for the rest of the people I know. (107 "friends")

After each "coming out" I felt emotionally very tired, but also more free to be myself.

Altogether I had only one very bad reaction (a girl who was my friend on Facebook but I don't know her very well so I just don't care, she literally insult me!)

A lot of people were shocked but time is the best solution for that. (My father didn't speak to me during two weeks, then he came back with a lovely mail saying "Hello Clara")

Another part of people said they are OK with this, but still don't call me and don't give anymore news (I think I must give them some time to accept)

And a lot of people just don't care. (I got a lot of answer like "OK, what else ?")

I know I will lose some people, but I will also win some others.

2 months ago, I was posting here, totally lost in my miserable male life, questioning and thinking that coming out was totally impossible for me.

I was sure I couldn't do it, but I did it

I was sure I was too afraid to go out as female; on day24 I switched to full time.

I was sure I could never "pass", now I pass as female almost everywhere (with lot of make-up lol)

If I could do it, everyone can do it. I am not better than others.

 

Now I got my blood test done, if the results are good (I hope so), I will start HRT next week. Now NO ONE, NOTHING can stop me. My real life is really beginning.

Some people on this site really helped me to start, without LP I am not sure I would be that point today, so I give everybody another big THANK YOU.

 

Love 

Clara

[Jani]

Clara yours is a wonderful story!  While I don't like the term I will say that you are brave.  You made a decision and got to it.  Congratulations.  You will lose some "friends" but that's OK as it's their loss.  Surround yourself with people who love and care for you.  

The community here at Laura's has also helped me immensely.  Thanks for being part of it.

Jani

[Dakota16]

That's awesome! I'm in the middle of the coming out process. Just like you've experienced, each time I told someone I felt the proverbial weight being lifted off further. I'm glad to see Facebook went well and it makes me hopeful that my friends there will accept me. Like Jani said, it's their loss if they don't. But we can't let it bring us down. My therapist drilled it into me that we can't control how others react, but we can control how we react to them.

[Clara84]

On 14/05/2017 at 5:29 PM, Dakota16 said:

My therapist drilled it into me that we can't control how others react, but we can control how we react to them.

My therapist said this too ! And it's right. I was pretty also sure not being accepted by anyone but reality was better than my thought. 

[Cecilia]

On 5/13/2017 at 5:13 PM, Clara84 said:

I am just happy to share this and I hope this post will give some optimism to those who are still too scared like I was just less than 2 months ago.

It took me 51 days to inform everybody but I did it. It was sometimes complicated, I was often scared, but each step gave me more freedom and courage for the next one.

I began with my wife.

Then my children.

Then the best friends and coworkers. (I am my own boss and I work with 2 friends) / 

Then my parents,

My wife's family

Other friends

The rest of my family.

The neighborhood

My children's school

And finally I came out on Facebook for the rest of the people I know. (107 "friends")

After each "coming out" I felt emotionally very tired, but also more free to be myself.

Altogether I had only one very bad reaction (a girl who was my friend on Facebook but I don't know her very well so I just don't care, she literally insult me!)

A lot of people were shocked but time is the best solution for that. (My father didn't speak to me during two weeks, then he came back with a lovely mail saying "Hello Clara")

Another part of people said they are OK with this, but still don't call me and don't give anymore news (I think I must give them some time to accept)

And a lot of people just don't care. (I got a lot of answer like "OK, what else ?")

I know I will lose some people, but I will also win some others.

2 months ago, I was posting here, totally lost in my miserable male life, questioning and thinking that coming out was totally impossible for me.

I was sure I couldn't do it, but I did it

I was sure I was too afraid to go out as female; on day24 I switched to full time.

I was sure I could never "pass", now I pass as female almost everywhere (with lot of make-up lol)

If I could do it, everyone can do it. I am not better than others.

 

Now I got my blood test done, if the results are good (I hope so), I will start HRT next week. Now NO ONE, NOTHING can stop me. My real life is really beginning.

Some people on this site really helped me to start, without LP I am not sure I would be that point today, so I give everybody another big THANK YOU.

 

Love 

Clara

I just want to share that you are an inspiration to me Clara.  We talk in threads sometimes;  and wanted to just share that quickly.

-Sissy

 

[Clara84]

7 minutes ago, Cecilia said:

I just want to share that you are an inspiration to me Clara.  We talk in threads sometimes;  and wanted to just share that quickly.

-Sissy

 

Nice to read that I do in someway help you.  Feel free to ask if you need to talk.

[Marti]

Good for you Clara. I'm so happy for you. I'm sure you will encounter those who don't understand. I wish you luck and I hope I can soon be as courageous as you.

[Charlize]

Congratulations Clara!!!!!!!  I know my story is similar.  To go from hiding and feeling i'd die with my "secret" to walking freely as myself is a journey i never believed possible.  Each small step took me closer and this group of folks helped me.  Your inspiration may well help others.  That is a true gift of finally being ourselves.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Clara84]

Nearly 3 months later. Quick update about people reactions.

After a few weeks. a lot of friends told me that they first didn't understand why I wanted to transition. They didn't thought that was really a serious thing. They just expected to see "him" dressed like a girl. After seeing the real myself several times some told me. "Wow, it seemed that you're really a girl" "you were serious" Now we unterstand". All this took time.

Still no rejection. But some friends are now going away, didn't consider myself as their friend anymore. Not because I am trans but just because I am female. They are boys who never used to have female friends. For them, friends must be boys, girls are just for love or sex. As I am now in the wrong gender to be their friends, I am no more their friends.

People who have children are often afraid to tell the truth to their child. Most prefer to lie telling that I am a new friend, or my own sister/cousin.

No one recognize me anymore. Never. I met some people that I forgot to came out... I had to present myself as a new person because they don't recognize me. For those I choose to tell the truth they're all very surprised (It's also sometimes useful. We all have people we know and we don't want to see. Now it's not a problem anymore as I am an unknown person)

Be warned.that everyone have to do a transition on their mind about  I can sort the people in 3 categories.

- Some still consider myself as "the boy who transitionned"

- some consider me as a new person. They told they must do the bereavement of the old one

- some finished the transition and acted like everything is natural. A friend told me yesterday that he can't remember anymore me as a male. For him I am just a girl and I have always been a girl. The goal is that everybody thinks that. But it takes time.

Meeting new people is also a real pleasure. I don't tell new persons that I am a trans girl. Being with those people is a wonderful feeling. Really!

Globally my social life is now much better than before. I've more friends. All the relationship are better. Everything sounds more real.

A lot of unknown people now talks to me. I don't know why but it happens often.

Everybody told me they see I am a lot more happy. Even those who aren't 100% accepting told me that.

[Jani]

Congratulations Clara.  

2 hours ago, Clara84 said:

Everybody told me they see I am a lot more happy.

This is the most important element, to be happy!

Jani