Resources For A Friend

[Guest Pól_Eire]

I decided to come out to my friend, and he wants some resources to read online. I offered to give him a book, but he wants something that's a little easier to process, in more manageable chunks. At first, I thought it would be pretty easy to find stuff, but most of the ones I have bookmarked are for parents, not friends. I'm specifically looking for resources for friends of FTMs but if there's anything really good for MTF's I'd take that too, or if there are any really good resources for parents that he could read and get something meaningful out of.

I think it went OK, but I also think he's kind of a little in shock, which I completely understand. I guess I just have to wait and see how he is in the next couple of days/weeks.

Anyone have any good links?

Thanks!

-Pól

[Petra Jane]

There's a good choice on Laura's Plaground main site, just look down the left hand sidebar.

[Guest Pól_Eire]

Thanks, Petra Jane, but a lot of that stuff is not really what I'm looking for. (I checked there first before posting this topic). Most of it is directed at trans people, not cis people. He's a friend, not an SO, so sending him anything like that would be really weird.

I'm looking for advice/information for someone who's just been come-out-to, not information that's directed at me. I'm also asking about specific things other people have found to be helpful in the past.

-Pól

[Guest Cody_T]

www.t-vox.org might help, have you looked at that?

[Guest ~Brenda~]

Dear Pol,

You are doing the right thing to let your friend now let your disclosure sink in. Hopefully he will come back and ask you questions when he is ready. I am sorry I do not have any links that your friend can look at at this time, but I'll research that for you. Everyone is different and respond to one's coming out differently. I am sure that your friend will still accept you. You may not realize it, but for most (not all of course) the response from those to have been disclosed to already suspected that the transgendered was gay. Many people do not understand the distinction between gay and transgendered, but long before you disclose, they already know something (gender speaking) is different. Anyway that has been my experience.

Hope this helps,

bernii

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

Pól, are you looking for resources focused on conveying factual information about what it means to be transgender? What kind of stuff are you wanting him to know about?

This is a good personal account that is jam packed with facts. I don't think it is really what you are looking for though:

www.ftmtransition.com

Were you looking for a more general resource that talks about the difference between biological sex, gender identity, and sexual orientation. A lot of my cisgender friends have a hard time teasing those things apart. When I've come out to people they've been like "Oh...I always figured you were a lesbian". Then I'm all like "Nonononononoooooo!! It's not like that!" Only maybe one or two of my cisfriends have "got" it. I've run across some okay resources in my web wanderings, but I am not sure I can lay hands on those sites again.

The other thing my cisfriends get unreasonably, uncomfortably curious about is my "below the waist" status. The want to ask, but they don't. It freaks some of them out more than it should. Blah blah blah...

I wish you well!

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

Okay, this resource seems pretty close to what I think you are looking for:

FTM Australia: Information

[Guest Pól_Eire]

Cody, Ainsley, that stuff was exactly the kind of thing I was looking for -- thanks!

Bernii, thanks for your kind note.

Actually, he said he had had absolutely no idea and that this kind of turned his world upside down a little bit. This is the friend I posted about awhile ago, who I was considering coming out to, who thought up until yesterday that I was a cisgendered guy. He definitely knew that I'm straight. Hopefully we'll be OK. I'm cautiously optimistic.

-Pól

[Guest StrandedOutThere]

Cool. Glad I could help.