Hello every one

[Jules]

Hi everyone,

I finally got a courage to join and share my story with ye.

I’m questioning my identity for nearly two years now. I am currently in distress so everything is blurred. But I’ll start from the beginning.

My wife once told me in a big conversation that if a relationship is right for her and her friend (a friend – she did not have anyone in mind at that time) she would not mind to be intimate with him and she hoped it wouldn’t be looked at as an affair. I admit it hit me hard, I was in shock and did not know what to do. Around those days I bought her knickers (I always wanted to buy her lingerie but did not know the size or where), but unfortunately I bought a slightly bigger size. So obviously it did not work out well. And as a joke I said I’ll wear them to work. So I did.

I have to say I liked it and for some reason I thought – well I can wear ladies underwear – it feels nice, nice to skin… So I bought couple of pairs for myself. My wife did not say much about it so I thought she is OK with that (little did I know).

Meanwhile I slowly started to be interested in additional female clothing (in short, over a year it got to full garment).

Pretty soon after I started sometimes wearing ladies underwear, I have realised this is transvestitism/cross-dressing so I started going to counselling, which I am till today.

Eventually I have found out that my wife was not taking this very well and she confide in a male friend, which she got close to – and got into an affair.

Now I am really upset and in distress about everything, blaming myself for what happened.

I’m sorry for such a rant, and thank you for reading.

Jules

[Timber Wolf]

Hi Jules,

Welcome to Laura's! I hope you find answers and peace.

 

Lots of love,

Timber Wolf???⛅☁⚡☀?

[Jani]

Jules, welcome to Laura's.  I'm sorry for the unexpected change in your relationship.  It's important to keep the line of communication open with your partner as you see it can be difficult for them to relate to.  That's good that you are seeing a counselor.  Have you considered couple's counseling?   Understand that not all relationships can survive the stress of when one's identity changes.  That's not to say it's not worth trying.

It does sound as if your wife had primed you for a possible change at some point in your relationship.  I'm not saying she wanted an affair but the point is she didn't find it to be out of the question.  This is something you may wish to explore further with her.   It may be that you've been on divergent paths for a while.  

Apart from sorting out your own self, take the time to sort out your relationship.  Regardless of where it ends up you'll both be happier.   

Please join in the conversation.  We'd love to hear more from you.

Cheers, Jan

[Carolyn Marie]

Welcome to the Playground, Jules.  I echo what Jan said.  Things can go from bad to worse quickly in a relationship once one party finds the others secret.

But it doesn't mean the end of your relationship.  Often, couples can come to an agreement about the "rules" of cross dressing; setting limits, for example.  Sometimes it can even help with physical relationships.  What I think is best would be couples therapy (marriage counseling), preferably with a therapist familiar with issues like yours.

Please stay with us and keep us informed.  We'll help all we can.

HUGS

Carolyn Marie

[StephanieVikingGirl]

Hi Jules,

I don't have a lot to add, but another "Welcome to the playground".  

hugs,

Stephanie

[MarcieMarie12]

Hi Jules, welcome to Laura's!

Hugs,

Marcie

[Khoriilya]

Hi Jules and welcome!

[Charlize]

Hi Jules, welcome.  Many of us here are having or have had relationship problems because of our gender issues.  These issues seem to always work out in time.  They have for me.  Hopefully it will help to know that you are not alone.  Please feel free to share and read about the experiences of others.  Simply doing that helped me through some rough spots.  Hope you find the same.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize

[Jules]

Thank you all for lovely welcomes and support.

[Cindy Truheart]

Welcome to Laura's!

I'm sorry you're having relationship problems! You won't find any judgement here, just support and others who will listen and understand what you are going through.

Love and Light!

[tracy_j]

Hi Jules

Welcome

 

Tracy x