Being FTM without transitioning

[Aslan]

I was wondering are there any FTMs out there or if any of you guys know of any FTMs who identify as male just without the physique of males?  I was also want to know the most commen reasons why a lot of guys opt of bottom surgery completely? Thanks.

[VickySGV]

I have a very good friend who is FtM and who is going no further than admitting her feelings to close personal friends of which I am happy to be one.  She/They (and uses female pronouns or neutral pronouns) acts more masculine in many ways, and also looks masculine Lesbian.  One or two times we have been out is public together, she has been taken for masculine and addressed as such, which both of us accept.  Her granddaughter who lives with her as her permanent foster daughter calls her by a male form of her name except in cases where it is better that she ID as grandmother. Basically, my friend gets what she needs out of life just as is.  She has two or three more friends where she has a bit more of a lesbian relationship, but they live in other states.  She had a hysterectomy after her grand child's mother was born due to ovarian cysts that also involved the uterus.

Other places where I am in a crowd with other FtM's, the major reason they are not going beyond either hysterectomy or breast reduction is cost and medical issues that would prevent them getting any benefits either physical or mental.  A good number are romantic but not sexual, so things are OK.  Age is also a factor since some of them are in their 60's and  upward.

[JJ]

I'm a man who is highly unlikely to ever have bottom surgery.  Even if I had the money I wouldn't though I have lived full time as male for over 6 years. I am on T and I wear a prosthesis . I started because I hike in the woods where there are hunters in hidden deer stand and hidden game cams so I needed a realistic STP for my own safety. I also live in a super conservative religious area and was safer standing in public bathrooms. But ultimately I found it felt like a part of me and I like it.

The reason I would not have surgery is that it just isn't that satisfactory to me functionally, or aesthetically as well as having a high complication rate which can drive the already high cost up astronomically. At 70 with Lupus, complications could also become serious. Lots of transmen opt not to have bottom surgery for that reason.

When I realized I was FTM my initial decision was not to transition.  I was too old, and too ill and it would be impossible in this community. It would be too hard on my family. .But I was also dying and had been bedridden for several years that caused my weight to soar to over 350. My heart has a weak valve that wouldn't handle the weight and I only had a few months left at the outside. But then one day I decided I had to try. My daughter was in a bad relationship and desperately needed me and I had nothing to lose by trying. I ended up losing 200 lbs and T gave me the strength to regain atrophied muscle starting with swimming. It's been 6 1/2 years now and I have gotten fit again, hiking around 150 miles a month, and have been accepted beyond my wildest dreams in the community. For me it was the right choice. For others it may not be. The main thing is that whatever you decide  is okay. How you decide to do it is okay.  You have the right to make those choices. Just give yourself permission  to change if you feelings change or evolve.

Some people try to tell others how they have to be but in truth the only person with the right to decide is YOU.

Johnny

[Ravin]

I have had top surgery and been on hormones for several years. I haven't had bottom surgery, nor will I, other than maybe a hysterectomy down the line at some point if it becomes medically advisable. For me personally, I don't feel the need. I've also never gotten the hang of any of the STP's and a packer just seems to me like an unnecessary way to make myself sweat and be uncomfortable in triple digits here in Arizona. No one has ever misgendered me because of what I am or am not packing between my legs.