Coming out to mt adult children and I need help

[bobbisue]

I need to come out to my adult children I am out to my two oldest daughters who have LGBT children this made it easier to come out to them as i knew they were accepting and it has gone well but I am not as sure things will go as well with my four younger children and I am at a loss about how to do this I am terrified about losing them from my life but cannot keep living a lie and as I have started HRT it will become impossible to hide it much longer any help would be great this has me in tears every day I am so scared

   bobbisue

[tracy_j]

My view is always to take things steady and try to avoid raising any rift. A bold statement may invoke a yes/no response whereas a gradual introduction gives time to think.

You say your oldest daughters have LGBT children. Are your other children aware of this? Do they accept it and get on with the children? It does not answer things for you but may indicate how to handle things.

I know my son was very unhappy with things at first, but I just took things steady, kept communication and when the time was right attempted to fully explain. He is very independant, and also lives some way away, so it is difficult to know exactly how he stands but we have a good relationship. Admittedly his (now) wife is the one who has good comments on what I wear

Why are you not as sure things will go well with them? Can you allow for these fears?

Being adult they will form their opinions. Are you close such like they may already have an inkling. You will probably have been showing clues for some time. It is not helping any of you to hold things back.

I hope things go well

Tracy

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[Charlize]

I can't make this problem go away for you but let me share my experience.  I got to a point where i needed to live as myself.  I couldn't hide anymore.  I felt i might be being selfish but also realized that i had to be honest for my benefit as well as others.  I gave it up to a power greater than myself not knowing if i would loose my wife, children and the farm.  When i did i felt a huge weight was lifted.  Fortunately we are all still together and my family has at least one  more peaceful, fulfilled and honest person. 

It was hard, took time, but was worth it.

 

Hugs,

 

Charlize