Sensible Dressing for MTF

[TessaOKC]

Found this article today and I think it gave some really helpful tips on sensible dressing for the trans female that wants to blend in. Let me know what you think ??!!!

 

http://transoutloud.com/dressing-transition-mtf-transgender-women/

 

Tess

[Dev]

This is actually quite helpful.  I'll admit I had to hold back a cringe when I saw you had linked to a "how to dress" article, as most of them I've seen dictate stereotypes and make demands of the reader.  But this article goes out of the way to be informative, non-judgmental, and provide reasonable tips on dressing well.  Excellent find!

[Gwen]

I found this very interesting and helpful. Some of it was obvious, but many tips offered great reminders of what to be aware of, things that might be off our radar. And found this to be entertaining

 

"It’s just a simple truth that dressing for an age that doesn’t suit you is a sure way to stand out. For us that means getting clocked. That means if you are fifty, body contouring minis and leggings that say “Juicy” are not your best bet."

 

Gwen

[Guest Rachel Gia]

Thank you for this article as it lays it out so well..

Ver much appreciated!

 

 

[Carolyn Marie]

A very good article, with truth and humor and good advice.  Some of the mistakes mentioned are ones that I've made, and I am better off for having made them and corrected things. 

 

Carolyn Marie

[TessaOKC]

On 1/7/2018 at 5:32 PM, Dev said:

This is actually quite helpful.  I'll admit I had to hold back a cringe when I saw you had linked to a "how to dress" article, as most of them I've seen dictate stereotypes and make demands of the reader.  But this article goes out of the way to be informative, non-judgmental, and provide reasonable tips on dressing well.  Excellent find!

 

Dev, LOL, I totally understand the cringe!!!! I just threw away a LOT of clothing purely attributed to a beginners mistake from a few years ago. OMG, I really thought I could wear some of those things??? !!! No thank you!! I don't know if its a natural progression but the fantasy part is long gone and reality has taken over, thank goodness! I really liked the article and I'm glad you did also. Thanks for your comment!!!!

 

[TessaOKC]

12 hours ago, Gwen said:

I found this very interesting and helpful. Some of it was obvious, but many tips offered great reminders of what to be aware of, things that might be off our radar. And found this to be entertaining

 

"It’s just a simple truth that dressing for an age that doesn’t suit you is a sure way to stand out. For us that means getting clocked. That means if you are fifty, body contouring minis and leggings that say “Juicy” are not your best bet."

 

Gwen

 

 

Well said Gwen. I found nothing obvious in the article as I am very blonde in my thinking!!! Never dawned on me that skinny jeans would make my feet look bigger, LOL !!!! Thanks for your comment!!!

[TessaOKC]

12 hours ago, Rachel Gia said:

Thank you for this article as it lays it out so well..

Ver much appreciated!

 

 

 

 

Thank you Rachel and it's very nice meeting you!

 

Tess

[TessaOKC]

8 hours ago, Carolyn Marie said:

A very good article, with truth and humor and good advice.  Some of the mistakes mentioned are ones that I've made, and I am better off for having made them and corrected things. 

 

Carolyn Marie

 

Hi Carolyn,

 

Ahhhh, I made every single mistake there is to be made!!! Had a lot of fun doing it too!!! Thanks so much!

 

Tess

[SunnyKay]

Thanks for posting this! there is some truly useful advice there...........

 

........With the exception of dressing for your age.......(ahem!)

 

I think its too easy to have too many rules, and it boxes me in.....I take a lot of chances with my clothes including wearing clothes inappropriate for my age group. Bright colors, tight pants, angular cuts, and bracelets meant for teens. One of my fave outfits right now is skinny tight black capris, 3/4 sleeve boat neck black top, and a BIG BRIGHT PINK BELT!  With white acrylic bracelets to boot. But you know what? I knock em dead in my clothes, and I feel great! If you pick it well, and it makes you look fab, throw out some rules and WERK!

 

Hugs,

Sunny Kay

[tracy_j]

An interesting article. With my interest in art / fashion design I spent quite a bit of time looking around the internet, especially in my early days of hunting down what to wear (in correct sizes). There are many women's pages devoted on what to wear for different body shapes etc. Personally I would not suggest using one that is specifically 'trans friendly', at least in the long term, as blending in is something many women apsire to (probably rather wanting to look good without looking odd). There comes a time when your appearance is the thought, not whether you are likely to look odd because you are trans and getting it wrong.

 

As with probably almost everyone, I went through the 'teenage period' in which I got things totally wrong, but now things are more natural. I still have my moments in which it fails greatly, but thats similar to any woman. It's just that other women are noted because of bad dress rather than identified as male. There is only one occasion I remember specifically for having a lower cut top where a couple of older women tut tutted, but I wasn't identified as male . I notice from the article that I totally fail in some respects with wearing sandals for most of the summer and often bodycon clothes. One reason why I need to get my Christmas excess off before the summer (just like a woman ).

 

Tracy

[TessaOKC]

9 hours ago, SunnyKay said:

Thanks for posting this! there is some truly useful advice there...........

 

........With the exception of dressing for your age.......(ahem!)

 

I think its too easy to have too many rules, and it boxes me in.....I take a lot of chances with my clothes including wearing clothes inappropriate for my age group. Bright colors, tight pants, angular cuts, and bracelets meant for teens. One of my fave outfits right now is skinny tight black capris, 3/4 sleeve boat neck black top, and a BIG BRIGHT PINK BELT!  With white acrylic bracelets to boot. But you know what? I knock em dead in my clothes, and I feel great! If you pick it well, and it makes you look fab, throw out some rules and WERK!

 

Hugs,

Sunny Kay

 

I agree Sunny Kay, if you can pull it off, GO FOR IT!!! I speak from the mind of a 6'3" 180 pound girl that stands out merely for my height and stature. LOL, I thought I could "Pull it off" with clothing and yeah, didn't happen. I envy you girl!!!

 

Tess

[TessaOKC]

3 hours ago, tracy_j said:

An interesting article. With my interest in art / fashion design I spent quite a bit of time looking around the internet, especially in my early days of hunting down what to wear (in correct sizes). There are many women's pages devoted on what to wear for different body shapes etc. Personally I would not suggest using one that is specifically 'trans friendly', at least in the long term, as blending in is something many women apsire to (probably rather wanting to look good without looking odd). There comes a time when your appearance is the thought, not whether you are likely to look odd because you are trans and getting it wrong.

 

As with probably almost everyone, I went through the 'teenage period' in which I got things totally wrong, but now things are more natural. I still have my moments in which it fails greatly, but thats similar to any woman. It's just that other women are noted because of bad dress rather than identified as male. There is only one occasion I remember specifically for having a lower cut top where a couple of older women tut tutted, but I wasn't identified as male . I notice from the article that I totally fail in some respects with wearing sandals for most of the summer and often bodycon clothes. One reason why I need to get my Christmas excess off before the summer (just like a woman ).

 

Tracy

 

Tracy,

 

Great issues you point to. Again, I'm tall, 6'3", and these days I just want to go about my business with no fan fare !! My though process is that if clothes are over the top or even very edgy, attention is all on you and then the horror of being clocked grows dramatically. That being said, it is really up to the individual as it always has been. I love fashion and bright colors but find myself wearing very dark colors just trying to minimize my height.

 

I make frequent Walmart trips as I'm sure we all do. I never get stares and rarely get clocked. Went with a trans female friend of mine last year. She's my size or quite large in the mid section. She's wearing daisy Dukes and a very tight bright pink top. OMG, the trip was a nightmare !!! We had a small crowd gathering on the other side of the checkout counter pointing and laughing in our direction. I was horrified to put it mildly. This absolutely solidified my goal of just blending in as functioning in an every day capacity without being clocked brings me far more happiness than dressing like my friend.

 

As a side note, she didn't even notice all the attention, so she says. Personally I think she did and relished the attention. Me on the other hand is just find and dandy flying under the radar!!!

 

Thanks again Tracy,

 

Tess

[Gwen]

16 hours ago, SunnyKay said:

 

 

........With the exception of dressing for your age.......(ahem!)

 

I take a lot of chances with my clothes including wearing clothes inappropriate for my age group. Bright colors, tight pants, angular cuts, and bracelets meant for teens.

 

 

 

I can sure relate to this, SunnyKay. When I shop at secondhand stores, I find myself drawn to clothing that would be more appropriate for someone 40 years younger! I seriously think I'm trying to recapture something from my teen years, when I was beginning to wish I could be a girl.

 

Great discussion!

 

Gwen

[MarcieMarie12]

When building up my wardrobe I took stock of what my coworkers wore that I liked and what I did not. Since many were close to my age it helped avoid dressing like a teenager.

[Jani]

Yes to Marcie's approach.  I looked to my sister's styles as I always liked how they dressed.  When you are out and about you can also take note of what women your age are wearing.  From there you can determine what works for you and what doesn't.  For me at least I will avoid the latest fad styles as I think they are generally geared towards a younger demographic group than I am in.   Age appropriate doesn't have to mean frumpy.  I think we should look at clothing choices as situational.  

 

Jani

[tracy_j]

The issue I find with the latest fad styles is that they go out even faster than they come in so the wardrobe would clutter up with out of fashion things, whereas some styles are fairly timeless.

 

Way back in my teens I liked the term 'trend setter' and often wore styles different to others. I am talking male here, but there was always a female side. I have not changed and still push things at times. I presume what you regard as Daisy Dukes are really short shorts Tess? (I used to watch the program). I do wear them in the summer, but did when out as male too. I hate long shorts. They do attract some attention, but not much, and I am shorter at around five eleven, and don't accentuate things with a pink top When going to the mart or other towns I wear more conservative clothes, less likely to attract attention. I have an inner voice that tells me I should be ladylike (in a very old fashioned English sense). It keeps me in check.

 

Tracy

[TessaOKC]

15 hours ago, MarcieMarie12 said:

When building up my wardrobe I took stock of what my coworkers wore that I liked and what I did not. Since many were close to my age it helped avoid dressing like a teenager.

 

I agree with you Marcie and I am of the same mindset!!!

 

Tess

[TessaOKC]

12 hours ago, Jani423 said:

Yes to Marcie's approach.  I looked to my sister's styles as I always liked how they dressed.  When you are out and about you can also take note of what women your age are wearing.  From there you can determine what works for you and what doesn't.  For me at least I will avoid the latest fad styles as I think they are generally geared towards a younger demographic group than I am in.   Age appropriate doesn't have to mean frumpy.  I think we should look at clothing choices as situational.  

 

Jani

 

Jani,

 

Yeah, I'm trying to figure out what is age appropriate for me at the present time. I'm so sick of wasting money on clothes I don't use so I'm really trying to make it count these days!!!!

 

Tess

[TessaOKC]

4 hours ago, tracy_j said:

The issue I find with the latest fad styles is that they go out even faster than they come in so the wardrobe would clutter up with out of fashion things, whereas some styles are fairly timeless.

 

Way back in my teens I liked the term 'trend setter' and often wore styles different to others. I am talking male here, but there was always a female side. I have not changed and still push things at times. I presume what you regard as Daisy Dukes are really short shorts Tess? (I used to watch the program). I do wear them in the summer, but did when out as male too. I hate long shorts. They do attract some attention, but not much, and I am shorter at around five eleven, and don't accentuate things with a pink top When going to the mart or other towns I wear more conservative clothes, less likely to attract attention. I have an inner voice that tells me I should be ladylike (in a very old fashioned English sense). It keeps me in check.

 

Tracy

 

Tracy,

 

Yes indeed, Daisy Dukes are short shorts !! I also hate long shorts but when butt cheeks are visible, that's too much for me. Please don't get me wrong, I very much feel , "To each their own" belief.... I support my friends right to dress however she  want, that sure doesn't mean I'll be going on another shopping trip with her to Walmart again !!! LOL    I am a hyper sensitive person and I really need to fly under the radar. I so wish I had her ability to shut the outside world out when in public, just can't do it!

 

I was presenting male of the 80's and I'm all about shorter shorts. I bet you look wonderful in yours and my respect flows to  you!!!

 

Thank you,

 

Tess

[Laura Beth]

I have worried a bit about how I dressed so I have asked my ex-wife about outfits I would put on. Sometimes I would get a response telling me if something wasn't right and  other times she would tell me if I like then wear it. I saw my counselor yesterday and I brought up the subject with her. She told me I was doing an appropriate job to blend in and that I was doing well to stay within my age category. She asked if I was having any issues with ones staring at me or saying anything which I answered that I have had some strange looks but I have pretty much just ignored them. 

 

Laura Beth

[VickySGV]

I have come to the ego deflating realization, that if clothing comes in my size at all, it is also age appropriate for me.  Darn it!!  I do have three store chains that carry stuff in my sizes, one of which is business professional / Great Aunt of the Bride oriented, another more play / leisure directed and the third which is a bit edgy but which is not really stand out for younger folks stuff.  I also buy some male things again that accessories change the heck out of and really make more feminine than the designer intended (maybe). 

[TessaOKC]

Just now, VickySGV said:

I have come to the ego deflating realization, that if clothing comes in my size at all, it is also age appropriate for me.  Darn it!!  I do have three store chains that carry stuff in my sizes, one of which is business professional / Great Aunt of the Bride oriented, another more play / leisure directed and the third which is a bit edgy but which is not really stand out for younger folks stuff.  I also buy some male things again that accessories change the heck out of and really make more feminine than the designer intended (maybe). 

 

Hi Vicky,

 

If you don't mind, what stores are the three you mention??

 

Thanks,

 

Tess

[TessaOKC]

2 hours ago, Laura Beth said:

I have worried a bit about how I dressed so I have asked my ex-wife about outfits I would put on. Sometimes I would get a response telling me if something wasn't right and  other times she would tell me if I like then wear it. I saw my counselor yesterday and I brought up the subject with her. She told me I was doing an appropriate job to blend in and that I was doing well to stay within my age category. She asked if I was having any issues with ones staring at me or saying anything which I answered that I have had some strange looks but I have pretty much just ignored them. 

 

Laura Beth

 

Good job Laura Beth,

 

I feel so bad you get strange looks at all !! I know I get them... Sounds as though  you're on the right path!!!

 

Tess

[VickySGV]

10 hours ago, TessaOKC said:

Hi Vicky,

 

If you don't mind, what stores are the three you mention??

 

Thanks,

 

Tess

 

Dress Barn for the Business and Semi Formal stuff.  Lane Bryant for more casual including jeans.  Torrid for the edgy.  I am 3x or 24 women's (US) sizes,